Friend asking for money - annoying

[Gerres]

My friend has sent me a DM asking for £20 for petrol money and said she can pay it back next Sunday.

Am I being a cow for not wanting to? It’s just that she’s asked recently and I said no and I feel if I said yes it’d become a regular thing. It may be only £20 this time but it could be £100 next time. And I don’t need the anxiety for the idea of it not being paid back for the next 7 days.
Is it normal for friends to ask for money? It just feels spongy to me!

"Sorry, things are too tight at the moment"

Just say No.

No. A normal person would go £20 overdrawn if it’s just a week. I don’t borrow money from friends and I don’t lend it either. Too much politics/agg around it. Plus if friend can’t afford £20 why does she think you can?

It's totally fine to say no. Your feelings are valid so why would you opt into (at least) a week's worth of anxiety waiting to get paid.

Say no.

I’d say this too.

I think you’re right, it will go up in increments and then when she’s ‘borrowed’ £200 you’ll never see her or the money again.

It’s just that she’s asked recently and I said no

You’ve said no before, do it again. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked for money by a friend-I would feel uncomfortable as well.

Or give it to her, but only if you can afford to lose it.

No it's not normal.

Unless it was a best friend and I knew they were stuck I'd lend it.

I'd just respond "sorry, with it being so close to Christmas it's just too tight at the moment"

Sorry I can’t afford it, I’m just scraping through till payday

"No can do, am totally skint"

Saying that I’d lent my closest friend money without hesitation but then she would only ask in an emergency and even then would desperately try not to

Can you afford to loose the £20?
If the answer is no then tell your friend that you can't.
Only ever lend someone what you can afford to loose.

Lend with the expectation you won’t get back and that getting it back is a bonus.

Seems strange to ask a friend. Has she no family? That would be most people’s first port of call.

If it was a close long term friend I would definitely lend it to her.

I have five people who fit into this category that I’m not related to.
Close family would be given the £20 and I wouldn’t want it back.

This is good simple and breezy. Then change the subject

Don't feel bad about saying no .
You don't have to justify your reply
Just say you haven't got it

If a friend needed my help and if I could afford it (and it wouldn't put me in debt), I would lend the £20. It doesn't have to be a habit.

What are friends for if not for helping each other out when they are in a jam?

Don’t feel guilty at saying no. You aren’t obliged to lend her money and her financial situation isn’t your problem.

I've got a friend that does this. She actually earns slightly more than me but is really good at wasting money. I started making excuses every time and now she doesn't ask.

Never lend money to your friends if you can avoid it. It just causes problems.

"Sorry, I can't. Especially at this time of year. I can't spare anything at any other time either. Things are hard all over"

"No can do, sorry!"

No need for reasons or excuses. They have asked a yes or no question. There is no obligation on you to share your financial information.

I’d just say no! I don’t think it’s normal behaviour for friends to repeatedly ask for loans. I don’t think any of my friends have ever done this!