DS11 called DS(just turned 2) an annoying little cunt

[Itnerd2018]

How seriously would you take it and how would you deal with it?

So he was joining in, trying to be funny and misjudged it. I don't think this is a big deal - just needs a chat about how it's not an acceptable way to talk about a toddler.

@Itnerd2018 my 15-year-old, who is very troubled and has children’s services involvement, regularly uses this offensive and derogatory word at her seven-year-old sister and I. I consider it to be verbal abuse. I have had to run through a list of swear words and offensive slurs that my younger DD must not use in public or school as we have almost become inured to the horrible language. This is no way for a younger child to live. Two-year-olds are human sponges and mimic everything they hear: I’m not an expert, but I imagine that this would be noted as a concern if your younger child repeated this misogynistic word at nursery?

Is your DS1 a Y6 or Y7 11-year-old as I would definitely be involving school to get them to tackle this head-on; it’s not just swearing, it’s misogynistic language.

This has to be the best answer you're going to receive. I believe GrumpyOldCrone has nailed it!!

Time to create a swear jar. £1 per swear, but a fiver for cunt!

First time and in the context you gave? That’s unacceptable language DS. Don’t use it in this house.

Do find it interesting that many people wouldn’t be bothered if 11yo was using this misogynistic term with his mates. Should we not be teaching our 11yo boys that misogyny is bad?

There's a huge age gap. I had 2 younger sisters and I never said anything like this to me. They were very annoying at times.

I also was pushed out being the eldest of 1 of 4. Could you spend more time together just you and him?

I probably wouldn’t be too harsh on DS. Clearly a learnt phrase so I would question where he got that from.

If her 11 year old son is also her husband, I think there are bigger issues at stake here...

He will be someones potty mouthed husband one day.

Children will always use swear words but they need to be taught to recognise there is a time and place where, out of respect, you dont and imo in front of your parents is one of the places you learn the habit to moderate your language.

Doesn't need to be a big deal, ds learnt young that swearing would get a look and he stopped it. He had a friend whose 'cool' parent allowed swearing in their home, he was asked to leave mine/be picked up more than once, it was not my job to educate their child if their parent hasn't.

This thread is enlightening.

I'm a teacher and it now makes sense that when a 12 year old tells me to f off, and get sanctioned, they cannot see any issue with it. And do it again, because they can't see an issue with it. That's okay though: I clearly need to be hardened to it.

A "swear-friendly" house is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

My teenagers know all the words. They don't use them in the house. Neither do we very often.

To me, that word is totally unacceptable. I'd have told him straight out that it's not a word he's to use - I can't believe some people have said it's OK to use but only outside the home! Do you want him growing up thinking it's an inoffensive word? Only my opinion, obviously.

Not appropriate yet?!?! It’s never appropriate, whether it’s your favourite or not. Maybe you could expand your vocabulary!

@Itnerd2018 that is a horrible word!!! where did he learn it???? I would be giving him some harsh punishments a) for using that word in the first place and b) for not being kinder to a 2 year old because they dont understand!!

@Pottedpalm hence my audience remark. Perhaps you need to expand your mind. My vocabulary is just fine but thank you for your concern.

This

We allow some swearing, they aren't allowed to use cunt. 15 and 16 for reference

@Peacheroo
But what is your appropriate audience? His dad? GPs? His class at school? There is no appropriate audience for your favourite word, as I’m sure you realise .

Ds once called the dog a dickhead out of the blue.It was in context and it made me laugh although I went into another room to have a chuckle.
Told ds that word was bad and shouldn't say it.
He hasn't since years later.

Yes, a very sensible response, although I’d have come down harder on the swearing. I had an 11 year old and a 3 year old, and it is very much the case that the younger child can drive the older one mad. Make sure the 2 year old is not allowed to bother the 11 year old and have a very big discussion about the 11 year old’s language .

Children will always use swear words but they need to be taught to recognise there is a time and place where, out of respect, you dont and imo in front of your parents is one of the places you learn the habit to moderate your language.

I come from a very sweary family, so swearing at home was allowed. However, it was explained to me that we didn't say fuck, cunt, shit, bollocks or arseholes outside the home, so I never did (well, not until I was much older). I got told off for saying "bugger" at primary school, but just added that to my mental list of "at home only" swears.

Two year olds are especially trying to older kids. My DB is nearly 10 years younger than me, and he was an absolute nightmare at 2, so I have some sympathy with the OP's son.

Quite simply, the audience is not you.

I've already said I don't like it for children (so no appropriate audience) but the word won't disappear by the time he is of age.

If he'd been a better father, the child wouldn't have sworn. Bloody men!

Although DS11s can often be annoying little cunts too, so maybe she SHOULD just leave them all and save herself form the next 10 years of hell, before DS11 emerges as a nicely rounded human being🤷🏼‍♀️
🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'd be shocked at my 11 year old saying that word, but I'd also understand that she doesn't realise what a terrible word it is. So, it depends does your DS know how bad it is? The word is everywhere now, so he's perhaps desensitised to it.
I remember getting a smack from my DM for calling my friend a 'twat.' I didn't know that it was considered such a bad word, on the scale of bad words. I thought it was on par with twit. It's the only smack I remember getting and it'd perhaps because it felt so unjust to me.
So, I wouldn't necessarily punish, but I would have a stern word about it.