To think teenage girls are not very nice! (title edited by MNHQ at request of OP)

[KitKatrunchie]

So fed up off my dd being excluded one week included the next! Is this normal ?
I feel so up and down
on the other hand there’s a part of me that thinks maybe my dd does it to others too? I do recall the girl that’s excluding her right now telling her she felt excluded a few weeks ago!

please tell me the teenage years work out ok. My head hurts from all the thinking

But lots of said ‘ sweet’ teenage girls are different at school.

@HuckleberryJam OP said she thinks maybe her DD might be doing it too.

I know for a fact DD didn't. Did she get accused of it? Sure. Did I blame her for not wanting to hang out with the twat that snuck her phone in and took pictures of her in the changing rooms during school time? Nope.

Ok. I was talking about op's dd not yours. I haven't read your post about your dd.

It's not just teenage girls. They start being horrible much younger than that.

I think it can be triggering for our own experiences at that age. Best thing you can do is encourage her to find her people outside of school so it’s less important. Teen life is hard while they figure out a LOT of stuff.

@HuckleberryJam the thing is OP doesn't know either. She thinks she might be based on nothing much. Taking that and running with it as a certainty or worse "birds of a feather stick together" kind of thing isn't necessarily smart.

TBH I think there's a lot of bitchiness that comes from teenagers. There's lots of leaving out and pushing away and pulling back in and exclusion for them to all be friends again the following week.
My DD is 15, y11. When it first started it really hurt DD, and coincided with the start of lockdown, so it really did affect her.
When she was told to move on to a different friendship group, the girl who had excluded DD then wanted to join that group, which meant that someone was going to be excluded, and it went on and on. The only way to handle it was to actually be friends with the girl, but have other friendships, despite other girl trying to get in the middle and always be the center of attention.

DD has adapted to it, and she's quite pragmatic in her approach of getting hobbies put of school, and spending lots of time with people she does hobbies with. Quietly having a few other things she does with people from the friendship group, so the other girl can't always take over, and has said to me, realistically I've got 6 months left at school. Once that's done, I never have to be around her again if I don't want to, but until then I can be nice to her so she doesn't make life hard for me.

It's hard, but I think that it also teaches them that sometimes people are horrible, and unkind to others, and sometimes they're immovable and you just need to muddle through with them.

Agree why sadly in adult life other people are not always decent and nice and teens need to develop strategies to deal with this. If you’ve only ever had sunshine and rainbows growing up arguably you are quite vulnerable in the work place etc. sad but true.

That said my older dd1 now upper sixth has never had friend issues thinking about it and younger one after her awful experience has a lovely group they are not at her school and are extremely posh but very nice and good friends to each other.

It’s quite frustrating when you mean one thing and people run with another thing isn’t it?

YABU

It’s not about whether the word should be used in front of children. It’s about the fact that you called my teenage girls (and all teenage girls) bitches. It is a sexist insult and you applied it to all teenage girls, which is also sexist.

My teenage girls and their friends are lovely, and they stay away from those that are not.

I totally agree with this and all of @Diah 's posts on P4