To think teenage girls are not very nice! (title edited by MNHQ at request of OP)

[KitKatrunchie]

So fed up off my dd being excluded one week included the next! Is this normal ?
I feel so up and down
on the other hand there’s a part of me that thinks maybe my dd does it to others too? I do recall the girl that’s excluding her right now telling her she felt excluded a few weeks ago!

please tell me the teenage years work out ok. My head hurts from all the thinking

In dds girls school the consistently mean girls gradually slip down the social hierarchy as people don’t want to risk it and be friends with them in case they are next. So by year 10 they seem to get the message that behaving like that doesn’t actually work for them long term.

Why are girls so horrible to each other?

Nah some of them really are bitches. The exclusion and completely dropping her and not even a hi after years of being friends and playdates and sleepovers and parties would've been one thing. The name calling, the abuse, the threats, getting their new friends involved (that had never even met DD) , adding her to GC or calling just to make fun of her, the dirty looks are a completely different thing. Even now, when DD has had them all blocked for months and absolutely no contact she still gets randomly added "just wanted to make fun of you girl".

No one has to talk to her or be her friend and that's fine, but they go out of their way to try and make someone miserable when she's not even in their life anymore. Those girls ARE bitches.

YABU for your misogynistic title. Teenage boys aren't exactly a delight, either...

How is this thread title not hate speech?

Exclusion is a recognised form of bullying.
They are not "bitches" they are bullies.
Contact the school as bullying shouldn't be tolerated and needs to be dealt with.

It's hard to see your daughter hurting, but no, all teenage girls aren't bitches and that is a fucking horrible thing to say.

I have a nearly 15yo daughter and she has a lovely group of girlfriends from school who she has been friends with for the last couple of years. Took her a while to find her tribe, but the vibe brings the tribe.

Maybe one of the friends she has fallen out with, is at home telling her own mum what a 'bitch' your DD is.

It’s a really tricky phase and yes some teenage girls are awful to other girls. I had two DDs that had good friendships in primary, but then went to a girls school( it was local and outstanding) and they both say they’d never send their own DDs to a girls’ school. So that says a lot. There were lots of issues and DD2 was rejected in yr 12 by her little group. It really affected her. Now she can see that they had self esteem issues and felt jealous of her. DD is lovely and happens to be very attractive and lots of teenage girls have hated her for it.

Unfortunately this behaviour is glamourised or feted in the media. And no, it doesn't really go away. My 17 year old has been dealing with a group about overdoses (a whole account set up online, fake posters ariund the sixth form) she has taken and the school does nothing because its not personal apparently. I've seen uni students drop out as well. There are depressingly groups raised/ influenced to put people down and mock relentlessly for their own fun and games.

They are indeed terrible

Some are. Most aren't.

DD(18) has got the most lovely, diverse group of friends. They took some finding but they are fun, loyal, caring and supportive.

OP - your DD will find her tribe. Encourage her to start by being the kind of friend she wants others to be. Worked for my DD.

And don't call young woman bitches.

How on earth do you imagine this would work? These are not 5 year olds. They can’t obligate teenagers to hang around with someone they don’t want to. Make them invite her to their house after school? Any school requiring my DD to include someone she didn’t want to be friends with in her friendship group would get pretty short shift from me.

above message was meant to quote QueenofMOHO

That is just Awful. This is my worry about how it affects their mental health too!

My approach has been to encourage my kids to focus on spending rime wuth the people who make them feel happy. I wouldn't encourage a friendship where they are friends one day / enemies the next

Sorry, but some just are nasty. And the mean girls often go on to be the mean mums at the school gate.
I know it’s a small minority, but they do exist, and can cause a lot of unhappiness.

The majority of teenage girls round by me are bitches. Rude and entitled. Think throwing McDonalds chips at my young kids, walking directly into my 9 year olds way and laughing. I was no angel, in fact I gave my parents hell but fuck me I wouldn't have dreamt of acting the way I see some teenage girls act these days.

@KitKatrunchie thank you. As I said , she's on the other side of this now. New group of decent friends, doing great in school and she finds the fact that they're still bothered by her mere existence after so long pathetic and hilarious. She was devastated though when it all was happening, struggling to make sense of it and it was heartbreaking seeing her like that .

It only takes one or two nasty pieces of work to make a group of girls behave like that in my experience.

DD fell out with a group when she was 15 after they as a group ghosted her and another girl.
Unfortunately the same pattern repeated itself with me a few months later...except my group of "friends" were all women in their 50s! 🙄🤣

Yanbu OP some teenage girls can be absolutely vile. Some primary girls can be pretty nasty too. I know because I have been a victim in the past.

Must be much worse for youngsters nowadays (male and female) with social media and the lack of proper boundaries instilled in some children now.
Only this week news broke of 2 12 year old boys being charged with murder.
12 YEARS OLD JESUS CHRIST
where will it end?

Absolutely you are right OP, but maybe your title should be changed to ‘a lot of teenage girls….’ rather than all, as I’m sure there are some very nice ones out there. I found my daughter’s teenage years absolutely draining and stressful. Girl friendships can be brutal. Usually a queen bee in charge of the group who will isolate each girl in turn from the group on a whim, causing lots of drama and upset. At first I used to intervene by calling the school (as it’s a form of bullying), only to find a few days later all was well in the group again. So i had to learn to step back, and when it happened, just try to encourage her to seek out other girls and friendship groups in her class. I was so glad when the school years ended. Uni was so much better. Boys handle things so much better - a falling out, but all back to normal pretty much straight after.

Of all the nasty comments and things said to me in school, by far the majority and also the nastiest and most needlessly mean ones were all from boys. But I don't see many threads about how teenage boys are 'bitches'.

Or perhaps I deserved it as, being a teenage girl, I must have been a bitch.

The ghosting is the new bullying for a lot of teenage girls, particularly older teens. They k ow there’s nothing school can do as often there’s no evidence of any harm, they just cut you dead and exclude someone. I think Dd would’ve preferred an argument.