AIBU about being treated unfairly after maternity leave?

[CluelessToddlerMum]

Before mat leave, I was at a high point in my career so far. I was high achieving and had a good reputation. Prior to returning from mat leave, it was agreed that I could return on 3 days per week in the same role (different team due to structural changes whilst I was off but still same sort’ve role) but my workload would be adjusted.

Upon returning, I had the same job title but was barely given any work to do - told that I could “settle back in”. After a few weeks, I raised concerns that I didn’t have enough work and that the remits of my role were confusing. My role felt like an after thought. Following a discussion with my manager, they reviewed my role remit and I was given a bit more responsibility. It’s been 3 months total now. During this time, I’ve had a fair bit of time off due to my child being unwell a lot because of unavoidable nursery bugs. Due to this and being 3 days per week, I’ve found it difficult settling back in as I’ve found it hard to get into the swing of it and I’m always playing catch up. It’s a very fast paced business. I’ve been open with my manager about this and a plan was agreed to help me catch up what I missed on my non-working days quicker. The following week, concerns were raised to me about the amount of time off I’ve had. The week after that, I’ve been told that it’s been decided it’s not possible to do my role in 3 days and I’m being moved to another role entirely.

I know they’re probably within their right to do what they’ve done, but I feel like I haven’t been given a fair opportunity to see if my role is possible in 3 days per week as for the first month, my role remit was unclear and then I’ve had no choice but to take time off to look after a sick child. Also a plan was agreed to help, but then only given a week to see if it would help before being moved on. I feel as though all the hard work I’ve put in over the last 10 years in my job has been forgotten, I feel undervalued and I feel as though I’m being managed out.

I don’t know what to do from here or what I want to happen. I also don’t know if I’m just being sensitive. AIBU? Does anyone have any advice?

I guess the problem is that if you keep taking the time off how long would you expect them to give you to prove you can do it? Is there a reason that you're the one having to cover all sickness leave for your child?

Sounds like work have been very reasonable and accommodating tbh. Consider whether, objectively, they are right - is the new role a better fit for you right now?

@POTC My DH has also taken time off due to my child being unwell, my child has just been unwell a lot. I’ve taken a bit more of the time off as my child is very clingy with my when unwell and so I’ve wanted to care for him. But obviously to the detriment of my career.

@DNAwrangler I don’t disagree that they’ve been accommodating to a point. But I think it’s the short timeframe in which this has happened that feels unfair and not feeling like I’ve had much of an opportunity to try.

Have a look here

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/maternity-and-parental-rights/check-your-maternity-and-parental-rights/maternity-leave-and-pay/maternity-leave-your-options-when-it-ends/#:~:text=You're%20entitled%20to%20return,return%20to%20the%20same%20job.

So you they gave you time to settle back in, you didn't want that and asked for more work. When they gave it to you, you haven't been able to complete it and now feel you haven't had the time to settle in?

It sounds like the role doesn't work on a part time basis and it will be frustrating your colleagues that you've had lots of time off for child care responsibilities. Could you partner not cover some of that for a while to let you get back into the swing of things?

Otherwise, would the suggested role be more workable with your current circumstances?

How much time have you had off in a 3 month period?

Briefly, is it fair to say you highlighted you didn’t have enough work so they gave you more and for whatever reason it wasn’t completed by you? They’ve re-evaluated and decided to give you a new role?

If this is the case in all honesty I think they’re being very accommodating. Is you pay affected?

For context how much time have you had off in 3 months?

From what you have said they have teen more than fair. Agreed part time, tried to help you settle back in and get up to speed, you didn’t want the help and have been unable to do this role in 3 days a week

You have had a massive life change but they still have a business to run and your colleagues to take into account

Based on what you've said I can't see how you've been treated unfairly. Quite the opposite. I say this as someone that returned from mat leave this year.

I agree with previous posters. You have not been treated unfairly, on the contrary your employer has been very accommodating. It also sounds like they are right about your suitability for your role.

What you have done in the previous ten years is irrelevant. Employers generally require performance on an ongoing basis.

I think how much time you've had off in 3 months is relevant, particularly as you are working part time!

So if you already have 2 days off per week, then your dh should be doing more sick days than you of the days you both work.

My god, the knives are out this morning.

YANBU. I do not treat my team like this, it would be utterly self defeating, I would lose the skills and goodwill of experienced staff. Employers need to make reasonable adjustments. We are all human.

I’ve recently returned to work after having DC2. My role was already 3 days and I’m finding it hard! OP sometimes somethings got to give. When you have kids there is a sacrifice both sides. It is impossible for your career to continue as is without sacrificing time with your children (which some people are willing to do and some people are not). I think you need to decide which is your main focus now. If career is still at the top of the chain then your DH needs to take more of the sick days. However, there is something to be said for leaning into your new role as a mum. You are now 3 days a week which is only 60% work anyway so why not give it a go in the new role, clock in, do your time and spend the rest of your energy on DC. Even after a year you could get back into your career. Don’t pressure yourself to have it all. It will do you in.

It's sounds like moving you if being accommodating. Companies employ you to do a role, 3 months later you bring pt and taking extra time off means they need to make changes, they are moving you to a position which can cope with pt hours and time off

Do you not think they did make reasonable adjustments? They gave her less work so she could ease in to the new part-time role she asked for. She didn't like that, asked for more work, but she hasn't been able to do it. So they're giving her a role that they think will suit her better. To me, that sounds like the very definition of Reasonable Adjustments.

Does the new role affect pay or benefits? If not, I’d give it a go, you can always feed back and maybe make adjustments later…

I would say a lower workload after returning for the first few weeks after returning from maternity leave and putting in steps to enable OP to catch on what was missed on non-working days, was a more than appropriate reasonable adjustment in this case.

However, the crux for OP is what her contract says - was it officially changed to state her 3 days a week working pattern and new responsibilities? Was it made clear that the arrangement would be reviewed after 3 months? OP's employer can't just move her to "any other job" willy nilly. Does the job have the same job title even if the actual day to day work is different?

Tricky one. I can see why you feel frustrated but it has been three months (not just one). If the business needs you to do the full-time job you used to do and this genuinely can’t be compressed into three days, then it sounds like you will have to change roles if you aren’t prepared to go back full-time. As PPs said, you asked for more work but then were not able to complete it as, due to the regular sick days, you haven’t even been managing to do the agreed three day week.

Your employer sounds sympathetic and you have goodwill there so I would try the new role if I were you (assuming no pay cut). Once things are more normal, you can then think about whether to stay with this company or whether there may be a better fit for you elsewhere.

You’ve got 10 years experience in this company, and know this role. Do you think it works as a 3 days?

I work in a “fast paced” team, and frankly it’s a PITA that we have one quite senior person who is 4 days. It’s also a PITA that one person finishes at 14:30. However, we have several doing part time where it doesn’t matter at all, and a very senior jobshare that works brilliantly.

Some roles do not work part time. I went from 4 to 5 days for mine. We’re a team of 5 in my actual role. Anyone one of them can do exactly what I do. But - it’s client facing so quick decisions are expected and it’s the sort of role where you hold so much on this week’s issues (and all the history) in your head that something I can answer instantly could be hours of research for my very good and experienced colleagues. (hours because of waiting for answers to come back)

I have seen companies treat people returning like shit and push them out.
But I’ve also directly felt the pain of working alongside someone (and doing that 2 hours of chasing for something they’d know instantly) who has been given hours unsuitable for our type of role.

“I’ve taken a bit more of the time off as my child is very clingy with my when unwell and so I’ve wanted to care for him”

They’d have been fine with him though.

Like other posters, I don't think you've been treated unfairly.

But I remember how hard it was to return after maternity leave. You've missed out on x months in the workplace, you've got a different role, you've got less hours, you've got a new team, you've got a whole other full time responsibility at home that you didn't have to factor in before you became a parent. It's an incredible adjustment.

Do you have anyone that you could develop a mentor type relationship with to help you work through your new priorities and give you an objective perspective at work? I'm not saying you're not up to your job, or that you need coaching. But just someone you trust to check in with regularly to offload and mull things over with and come up with constructive ideas.

It's always difficult returning to a role after leave, especially on reduced days, and some jobs just aren't suitable for pt hours.

It does sound like your employer has been accommodating, easing you back into things, only giving you enough work for the days, but it's not worked due to you being pt so they are making adjustments. I'm not sure what else they can do tbh.

Whilst your dc is a baby and you're all adjusting to going back to work and the sickness children get at that age, I'd stick with this employer as they sound pretty good and seem to be looking after you well

I think it's probably down the the extra time off you have had and whether you can be reliable going forward as to why they want to switch things up. Under the premise you 'can't do the work in 3 days'

Your employer seems fair.
Could you ask to stay in the current role for one more month of trial given that you want to succeed. During that time ask your husband to be the one who always takes time off with your sick baby.
Your husband perhaps did not take as much parental leave as you and his job could afford to suffer a wee bit more while you strengthen up your career.

This

Plus I think it was a huge mistake for you to have taken so much time off straight after Mat Leave. As a minimum you and your DH should have shared it equally but ideally him doing the bulk until you were back longer and had added value/settled back in