I’m getting married and have chosen three friends that I’d like to be my bridesmaids. Two friends I’ve already asked as it was very much a given (I was a BM at their weddings). But I’m yet to ask the third friend. She’s a close friend but not quite as close as the other two, and I don’t think she’ll be expecting to be asked. I’m not 100% sure whether or not it’s something she’d want to do. She’s had some life issues recently and also doesn’t like to be the centre of attention.
In view of this, I’d thought about sending her a nice text to say how much I value our friendship and that I’d love for her to be a bridesmaid, but also that I’d like to give her the space to consider it, and for her to feel free say no if it’s not her thing. I mentioned this to the other two BMs who both said they would be massively upset if someone texted them to ask something so important and that I should do it face to face with a bridesmaid proposal gifts (as I did for them).
I’d really welcome your thoughts here!
YANBU - asking by text is fine!
YABU - it’s too impersonal, you need to discuss face to face.