To keep school mums at a distance

[Whattherass]

They say hello one day the next completely blanked.. Why are some school mums like this?

Because they have other things on their mind in the morning? Don’t take it personally.

Agree don’t take it personally especially in the morning. It’s hard to be cheerful at 8.30 in the morning after a stressful time getting ready and I’m often in my own head thinking ahead to the day.

Because they have stuff going on you don't know about. Some mornings I talk to mums, some I'm so exhausted and fed up I try to avoid them. I have two SEN kids who often really don't want to go to school, my mornings are long, I'm trying to be patient, its nothing personal I just might burst into tears or Scream if somebody talks to me.

Don’t make it about you and take it personally. I don’t really want to talk to anyone at school drop off and pick up. In the morning I’m tired and rushing to work, in the evening I’m tired and rushing home to cook dinner etc. It’s not that I dislike anybody or am not friendly at school events or class drinks, I’m just usually in a rush to be somewhere else. Most people have a lot of other commitments beyond the school run.

If I blank someone it's because I haven't seen them, my eyes might be pointing in their direction but mentally I'm running through my to do list, trying to figure out if I've remembered everything DD needs to take in that day, rushing to get to work on time. I'm not actually seeing my surroundings, just autopiloting the walk to/from school while my brain processes.

Because all people are like this.

Friendly sometimes, preoccupied at others.

You don't get a personality transplant when you start doing the school run, and the people you encounter there are much the same people as you'd encounter anywhere. The only difference being that if it's morning, the caffeine might not have kicked in yet

Do you always wait for them to say hi first and then reply (or just don't if they don't speak to you first)?

Most are boring, cliquey women with far too much time on their hands and very few meaningful things to say.
you are missing nothing.

I think you have a mix of school mums, much like in society.

Some are nice
Others are a bit dizzy and mean no harm if they haven't seen you
Many are stressed and are dealing with things behind closed doors
Some are just bitchy generally
Others are social climbers..you see them navigating through people in the playground and engineering their children's friendships
Some are just quiet and anxious
Many are really lovely, when you get to know them

What's important is that your child is happy. Drop them off, pick them up. See it as just that. You won't see these people really after primary so don't worry about, it.

Honestly, if I waited for the other school parents to greet me, I wouldn't even know their names after 4 years. I had to make all the effort, and I am still the one who says "Hi X, hi Y, morning Z!" as I plough through the crowd. But the effort has paid off in that I am on friendly terms with most of the parents, and have gradually made real friends over time.

I just took my feelings out if it and looked on it as a job, to help my son socially tbh.

Because the world doesn't revolve around you. Sometimes I'm organised, happy, awake in the morning, I notice and say hi to everyone. Sometimes I'm busy and stressed and just rush in and out.

I blank people all the time. It’s never deliberate, just pre occupied.

It’s really not that deep

"school mums" aren't a different species, you know!

I have terrible vision and yesterday I accidentally blanked my own Auntie in Nisa 😂They probably don't see you or are preoccupied;

What a way to write off a massive chunk of women. We don't need men to hate us, we can do it ourselves.

I can't remember who I say hello to I just say hello to who is there at the time, I have no idea who doesn't say hello to me.

You are not back at school yourself you are a grown up I presume?

Omg, I am so worried about this post! I'm just in my own world some days... especially if I'm thinking about a call I'm rushing back for. This is almost certainly about them being overloaded and nothing to do with you- it could easily be written about me. When I had one child at school and I was working part-time, I religiously smiled and said hello to everyone. Now I know most the school, I definitely accidentally miss people every day. Don't take it personally.

School mums aren’t a different species of people. 🙄

Because sometimes I have other things on my mind, or I might not have seen you or might be tired or have other stuff on.

But no doubt someone will be on to tell you we’re all part of a clique and hate everyone.

I daresay it wasn't an intentional snub, people do have other things on their minds early in the morning.

I have to say I always avoided pavement pow-wows outside the school as far as possible.

If you're a mum on the school run, you're also a school mum.

People have lots going on in their lives. Sometimes they're bright and breezy and awake, sometimes they're tired and overwhelmed, sometimes they've got things on their mind.

If you're wanting a thread about nasty bitchy school mums then you'll probably get it from some posters though.

Your school set sounds awful.

The moms and dads I knew were lovely, supportive and very active in the WhatsApp group.

I didn’t see cliques, but parents who spent more time together as their children formed closer friendship groups.

Try not to be so emotionally invested, it’s not about you.people have lives, they are busy, things on their mind.

Wow, either you’ve been left out by a few women or you see school run mums as some sort of stereotypical Mean Girls Post-School. Either way your issues are your own, don’t tar a huge majority of women/mums with the same brush.

The school run is hugely stressful for me, I’m often too busy hoping my kids haven’t had a bad day and the teacher doesn’t need ‘a chat’. Mornings are just about getting them through the door. I do speak to a couple of mums but I’ve known them since our children were toddlers. 10 minutes around the school gates isn’t going to have the same chatter as with someone I’ve known 6/7 years.

Who knows? In the end, I had a blanket smile-and-hello and no-comments policy for all, in and out as fast as possible. One of the most challenging environment known to woman, for sure.