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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask partner to leave whilst I get induced

80 replies

suzie0999 · 14/11/2023 20:24

My waters broke at 36 weeks yesterday and I am being induced.

I am feeling so stressed as I al finding partner so annoying.
I would probably feel better going through the the birth as everything he does seem to annoy me.

For example I have gestational diabetes and he is trying to argue with me that I can eat a Toffee Mullers yogurt.

I have had to do a Strep B test and is arguing with me that I should allow him to watch him allow me put the sample in my bum.

When I asked him would he feel comfortable if I were to watch him he starts arguing with me and tells me to F off.

I dont know if it is my hormones or what but he is driving me crazy.

I feel so stressed as it is.

Its like anything little thing I do he will try and question it or challenge me.

Am I being unreasonable to ask him to leave?

OP posts:
SylvieLaufeydottir · 14/11/2023 20:27

Oh my god get him OUT. He is no good to you. I very strongly suspect he is no good ever.

Consideringachange2023 · 14/11/2023 20:27

No you’re not unreasonable at all - the induction is a bit of a non event if they are using pessaries anyway - literally pop it up and wait for something to happen.
Even if they put you on the drip it’s not an immediate thing, he could easily leave for a good few hours and not miss anything.

Why is he asking to do the strep test for you? What a weirdo - is he trying to be funny? Controlling? Or just helpful but totally missing the mark?

Good luck with it all! Baby will be here soon :)

Diverpanda · 14/11/2023 20:43

He needs to get the fuck out when you tell him.

It's your body. He leaves when you ask.

haribosmarties · 14/11/2023 20:48

No you are not being unreasonable what a dickhead! I'm 27 weeks right now and if my DH tried to take a toffee yoghurt off me I'd honestly get violent. But he would never do that because he's not a bellend. You aren't just being hormonal your partner is being controlling and invasive

Mamato29192 · 14/11/2023 20:49

Kick him out! X

Whiteday · 14/11/2023 20:50

I cannot believe any decent man would tell his wife to fuck off in this situation, I'd be telling him to fuck off and never return!!

Mummapenguin20 · 14/11/2023 20:52

Tell him to leave

Chipsahoyagain · 14/11/2023 20:52

Poor you and your baby for having him as the father and being stuck with hi . He sounds like such a gross man all round. Definitely kick him out for good, guaranteed he will be a useless piece of waste even after the baby is here.

LightSpeeds · 14/11/2023 20:53

When you're in labour you need to be with someone you trust and who will support and calm you.

If he can't do that, then, yeah, make him leave!

He sounds like a complete tosser. Good luck with the birth (and with him)!

GabriellaMontez · 14/11/2023 20:54

Yanbu to ask him to leave permanently.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/11/2023 20:55

Whiteday · 14/11/2023 20:50

I cannot believe any decent man would tell his wife to fuck off in this situation, I'd be telling him to fuck off and never return!!

This. What man would tell his wife to fuck off because she has boundaries about her own body? Awful.

Fleur405 · 14/11/2023 20:56

There’s only one person who needs to fuck off in this scenario and it’s not you.

Cloverforever · 14/11/2023 20:58

This man sounds dangerous, its definitely not just your hormones.

I'm sorry you're having to put up with this at this stressful time.

Whiteday · 14/11/2023 20:58

GabriellaMontez · 14/11/2023 20:54

Yanbu to ask him to leave permanently.

Agreed, this. But what a dreadful time to have to make that decision!

Hope all goes well with the delivery OP

Ponderingwindow · 14/11/2023 20:58

This is your event. Having someone who supports you is helpful. Having someone you don’t trust may impair your labor process.

if you want him to leave the hospital he leaves. If you want him to go sit in the waiting room and return your whim, that is where he should go. You are in charge today.

PinkyFlamingo · 14/11/2023 20:59

He sounds awful, has this came completely out of the blue?

CyberCritical · 14/11/2023 21:00

I sent mine home when I was induced, to be fair to him he wasn't misbehaving, I just didnt see the point in him sitting watching me while nothing was happening and I wanted to sit and watch films on my tablet and read my magazines. He went home about 5pm, I hung around the hospital, wandering the halls in between films and snacking. Then he came back about 9am the next day ready for the checkups.

Whiteday · 14/11/2023 21:02

CyberCritical · 14/11/2023 21:00

I sent mine home when I was induced, to be fair to him he wasn't misbehaving, I just didnt see the point in him sitting watching me while nothing was happening and I wanted to sit and watch films on my tablet and read my magazines. He went home about 5pm, I hung around the hospital, wandering the halls in between films and snacking. Then he came back about 9am the next day ready for the checkups.

Nothing at all like the OPs situation then?

Not very enlightening at all.

Reugny · 14/11/2023 21:04

Please phone a relative or a friend NOW and get them to be your birthing partner.

You need one but NOT your husband.

Your birthing partner is there to also help ensure healthcare practitioners listen to you.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 14/11/2023 21:06

Thought this was just going to be a standard "he's driving me batshit telling me to brrreeeaaathhhee" (I'm certain I nearly stabbed my DP for this).

Pushing your boundaries, making you uncomfortable and telling you to fuck off, absolutely disgusting.

Kick him out and concentrate on getting your little one here safely!! Good luck!

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 14/11/2023 21:08

Tell the midwife you don’t want him there. Agree he sounds like a knob.

AtomicPumpkin · 14/11/2023 21:08

Perfectly reasonable to tell him to leave, but you might want to think hard about whether you want him back after the birth.

Screamingabdabz · 14/11/2023 21:09

Told you to ‘fuck off’? While you’re in labour with his child?

He’s a prick. Poor kid.

Catsmere · 14/11/2023 21:13

He sounds like a complete creep. Has he just started acting like this? I'm thinking he's the horrible sort who puts on the nice face and once his partner's trapped by pregnancy, shows his true colours.

Sugargliderwombat · 14/11/2023 21:25

He told you to fuck off ? Jesus. You focus on yourself and get that dickhead out of there.