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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask partner to leave whilst I get induced

80 replies

suzie0999 · 14/11/2023 20:24

My waters broke at 36 weeks yesterday and I am being induced.

I am feeling so stressed as I al finding partner so annoying.
I would probably feel better going through the the birth as everything he does seem to annoy me.

For example I have gestational diabetes and he is trying to argue with me that I can eat a Toffee Mullers yogurt.

I have had to do a Strep B test and is arguing with me that I should allow him to watch him allow me put the sample in my bum.

When I asked him would he feel comfortable if I were to watch him he starts arguing with me and tells me to F off.

I dont know if it is my hormones or what but he is driving me crazy.

I feel so stressed as it is.

Its like anything little thing I do he will try and question it or challenge me.

Am I being unreasonable to ask him to leave?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/11/2023 21:53

Consideringachange2023 · 14/11/2023 20:27

No you’re not unreasonable at all - the induction is a bit of a non event if they are using pessaries anyway - literally pop it up and wait for something to happen.
Even if they put you on the drip it’s not an immediate thing, he could easily leave for a good few hours and not miss anything.

Why is he asking to do the strep test for you? What a weirdo - is he trying to be funny? Controlling? Or just helpful but totally missing the mark?

Good luck with it all! Baby will be here soon :)

I agree with you that OP is not being unreasonable. This bloke sounds like an absolute twat and needs to be got rid of.

Just wanted to say that for me it was almost instant with induction both times. The first time I think I had a contraction whilst the midwife’s hand was still up there!

The second time the contactions didn’t start as fast but the whole thing was done in three hours.

Original poster
suzie0999 · 15/11/2023 02:16

He is so awful, he refuses to leave.
I cant sleep as he is snoring, and keeps telling me to "shhhh" when I keep asking him to go.

I am so fed up, I am so sick of him.

I am so tired and cant even sleep whilst I wait to go to the delivery suite.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2023 02:20

suzie0999 · 15/11/2023 02:16

He is so awful, he refuses to leave.
I cant sleep as he is snoring, and keeps telling me to "shhhh" when I keep asking him to go.

I am so fed up, I am so sick of him.

I am so tired and cant even sleep whilst I wait to go to the delivery suite.

Can a nurse or midwife get him gone?

Whiteday · 15/11/2023 02:22

suzie0999 · 15/11/2023 02:16

He is so awful, he refuses to leave.
I cant sleep as he is snoring, and keeps telling me to "shhhh" when I keep asking him to go.

I am so fed up, I am so sick of him.

I am so tired and cant even sleep whilst I wait to go to the delivery suite.

Ask your midwife to tell him to leave.

Original poster
suzie0999 · 15/11/2023 02:24

I would tell the midwife but dont want to make a scene.

I live in a different city to my family and friends.

I am just so depressed, I dont feel happy at all.

All he does is moan and stress me out.
Tries to tell me what to do on things he knows nothing about.

He is so selfish.
I have just told him I need my energy up for when I will be in labour and it is still about him and what he wants.

I absolutely hate his guts, I dont deserve this stress of anyone.

OP posts:
Catsmere · 15/11/2023 02:27

Telling the midwife isn't "making a scene" and so what if it were? You need to get this fucking toad out of your room (and life, but that's for another day). The midwife is there to help YOU. Mr Arsehole needs to be thrown out.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2023 02:36

Make a little scene and then you can get some rest.

Please.

Whiteday · 15/11/2023 02:59

suzie0999 · 15/11/2023 02:24

I would tell the midwife but dont want to make a scene.

I live in a different city to my family and friends.

I am just so depressed, I dont feel happy at all.

All he does is moan and stress me out.
Tries to tell me what to do on things he knows nothing about.

He is so selfish.
I have just told him I need my energy up for when I will be in labour and it is still about him and what he wants.

I absolutely hate his guts, I dont deserve this stress of anyone.

Please tell the midwife! It's not making a scene, it's self preservation. He will be useless when you're in labour.

Margotshypotheticaldog · 15/11/2023 03:05

The midwives will want to reduce your stress and want you to be as comfortable as possible, they'll probably be delighted to ask him to leave. He's stressing you out and presumably is in the way, time for him to go!

Margotshypotheticaldog · 15/11/2023 03:06

And best of luck op, fingers crossed baby gets here soon 😁

Spencer0220 · 15/11/2023 03:11

You absolutely won't be causing a scene. One word to the midwife and he will be out before he knows what happened. I promise you. Medical professionals deal with this multiple times a day.

And if my husband ever tried to shhhh me, honestly he wouldn't know what hit him.

Please, please put your baby first and do the right thing for your labour. There's a reason they say the labouring woman is in charge.

Btw, my BIL can be a bit of a dick. Even he understands that when his wife is in labour he does exactly what he's told.

nozbottheblue · 15/11/2023 03:32

Ring your bell and say you want a word with the midwife (in private). Then tell her you want him to leave, and that will happen.
He has no right to be there if you don't want him there, and he is bad for you at the moment - and probably permanently. Now is when you need someone thinking about you and doing what YOU want.
Good luck xx

39and · 15/11/2023 03:35

What a weirdo. Tell him to fuck off and ask the midwife to remove him. He'll likely get worse once the baby is born. Are you able to leave him?

Emeraldsanddiamonds · 15/11/2023 03:44

He sounds maddeningly irritating to me and I'm not hormonal or in labour. I ended up having caesareans but before that I was adamant that my husband was at the top end and no gruesome photographs. I'd ask the midwife to get him to leave because you can imagine how much worse he will be in labour

Emeraldsanddiamonds · 15/11/2023 03:46

On the bright side at least you aren't married to him.

junbean · 15/11/2023 03:47

I've had 3 inductions and they can be really difficult to put it nicely, you do not need anyone like that around. And he told you to fuck off? Send him packing permanently!

FictionalCharacter · 15/11/2023 03:48

suzie0999 · 15/11/2023 02:24

I would tell the midwife but dont want to make a scene.

I live in a different city to my family and friends.

I am just so depressed, I dont feel happy at all.

All he does is moan and stress me out.
Tries to tell me what to do on things he knows nothing about.

He is so selfish.
I have just told him I need my energy up for when I will be in labour and it is still about him and what he wants.

I absolutely hate his guts, I dont deserve this stress of anyone.

Just ask the midwife to get him to leave. Tell her what he’s been saying to you. Five minutes of him stropping will be worth it because you’ll then be left to have your baby in peace.
And do not blame your hormones for you not wanting to be treated so badly.

user1492757084 · 15/11/2023 03:52

Your labour will be best without the stress of dealing with him.
Think of the baby and the birth and ask the nurses to remove your partner.
Tell them you do not wish him to be with you.

You will both be better off being able to rest.
If your partner is so disrespectful whilst you are establishing feeding and mothering he will be unbearable.

Topseyt123 · 15/11/2023 04:04

Get the midwives to eject him. He's a total wanker and will not be of any support to you when labour really gets going. In fact, he will probably be even more of an arse as attention will not be on him.

Eject him from your life. Permanently!

Toddlerteaplease · 15/11/2023 04:06

Emeraldsanddiamonds · 15/11/2023 03:46

On the bright side at least you aren't married to him.

Is she was married, she could divorce. Unfortunately she's going to be tied to hi for life now.

AllWeWantToDo · 15/11/2023 04:07

The shit some people have to put up with. I hope you are getting some rest op. Speak to the midwife in the morning

TeaGinandFags · 15/11/2023 04:26

Get rid of him for the baby's sake!

Stress can lengthen a labour and create unnecesssry complications. Tell your midwife and she will shunt him out toot sweet.

Wishing you the best x

2strappinglads · 15/11/2023 05:42

Reugny · 14/11/2023 21:04

Please phone a relative or a friend NOW and get them to be your birthing partner.

You need one but NOT your husband.

Your birthing partner is there to also help ensure healthcare practitioners listen to you.

I had my 3rd with no one else there
Best birth of the 3

Notwhatyouwanttohear · 15/11/2023 05:53

Errr obvious question is why are you having a baby with this poor excuse of a man

BettyPhuckzer · 15/11/2023 05:57

You need to start advocating for YOU now because soon you will have a baby to advocate for. If you can't get what's right for you how are you going to make sure baby gets what's right for them?

Tell the midwife or doctor how you are feeling. Get DP gone .....get rid

Call or message your family or a friend and ask them to be with you once baby is born.

Look after yourself and put you and baby first