Was he telling me to abort?

[notbindingbahy]

I had a friend I meet overseas and he moved to the uk (several hours away). Nothing sexual etc.

I've had severe morning sickness throughout my pregnancy and I'm bad about answering messages etc.

When I told him I'm really early stages (hadn't told parents/family) but sorry for the lack of replies I'm pregnant.... he told me to think hard about looking after the baby, education, housing etc. (for the record I have a good job, own home etc).

Was he telling me to abort? It was never part of my plan and I'm not "pro choice" for myself. What other people do is their business.

I've always felt that he was negative and needed to keep his thoughts to himself.

No. It sounds like he just wanted to remind you to not go into it with your eyes closed.

Education is free in this country, as is housing (if I don't work etc).

I just don't understand why his response wasn't "oh congrats, sorry to hear you are ill, let me know if you need anything".

Housing is not free. Not everyone likes the idea of having kids, I guess he’s one of these people and his response was rude. How long ago did this happen?

I've got my own house. Mortgaged.

Housing is free in the uk if you are with a child, we have a benefit system. He's from overseas. Mothers and children don't live in tenants on the streets. Anyone is at risk of being homeless, but we have a support system and I have family.

Education is free in this country, as is housing (if I don't work etc).

University is free? Orthodontists? Where is this free long term housing for the unemployed?

I didn’t suggest you don’t have your own house, or that you are at risk of homelessness. But housing is not free in this country for anyone. Benefits will pay rent in some circumstances but once your baby is a certain age you have to look for work etc. There is no free housing.

Let him think what he wants but I wouldn't be giving 2nd thoughts to a comment from someone I always thought of as negative!

You think people in authority housing get it for free ????

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

They'll get the housing element of UC depending on their income. They're not on the streets.

Who’s ‘they’? And it’s still not free is it. Free = no charge.

"They" are the people in need of housing by the LA. And its no charge to the person in that position if its covered by the system.

You clearly don’t understand social housing.

Please explain it.

Yeah. A couple live across the road and they are in social housing. Neither work. They get free housing.

Go and educate yourself I’m not your teacher 😂

That's OK. I still stand by my assertion.

Ok, so overlooking the basic misunderstanding of how the welfare state works, who is this guy to you?

It sounds like you are going solo with this baby which isn’t a walk in the park and he’s just reminding you of that. But it’s your life and if you are happy then congratulations. The circumstances are no-one’s business but yours.

That’s fine but you are still wrong, it’s not subjective, it’s facts.

I agree with others housing is not free. Depending on your circumstances you may be entitled to some benefits but that has to go towards all your bills, including rent. Its definitely not a luxury. And social housing is in short supply. People wait years for a suitable home. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you'll get one right away. Or before a baby is born etc.

Wait are you the same OP who just did the regretting being pregnant thread that’s been removed?

If you have a mortgage you’re not entitled to the housing benefit scheme so you wouldn’t get free housing and have to continue to pay your mortgage.

Apologies OP for this derailment!

But yet you won't explain how or why?

A quick Google on UC and housing has done nothing to make me change my mind.

Are you single?

A lot of people who are single and pregnant would abort. Pregnancy isn’t always cause for celebration and it sounds like he’s looking at it pragmatically. If you haven’t mentioned a relationship or wanting a baby previously, he’s probably shocked and thinks you’d be thinking along the lines of abortion too. Obviously it’s a bit insensitive but clearly he thinks you have a close enough relationship to talk openly.

The information is clearly there for you to find, if you don’t understand it or can’t be bothered researching further that’s fine, I don’t care, I don’t no you.