Saying this child should not continue to attend activity

[Glimpsey]

I run a children’s gymnastics class, one of the classes is a Saturday morning, 10-11am. It’s for Reception/KS1 children, pretty relaxed, generally we have skills stations where a leader will be at each one and the kids can learn a specific skill, they move round these as they wish.
We have one child who started in September, she is a young 4 (summer birth), very sweet girl and seems to do well naturally, picks skills up very fast etc.
However, she comes straight from a half hour swimming lesson, by the last 20 minutes she is too tired and just sits out at the side. She is no hassle though.
She also does 3 hours of dancing in the week (mum was telling me).
Usually we’d never say a child shouldn’t keep coming to the class, like I said it’s relaxed and meant to be fun. This child is “better” than most her age and seems to enjoy it. However she’s exhausted by the end of the class!!!
My manager and I were talking and thinking perhaps we need to ask the parents to bring her to a different class, either later on a Saturday or after school one day, saying that she is very tired in the current class and may do better at a different time, but make it clear she’s lovely to have in class and is good.
We put it to the rest of the team to decide but we can’t decide. Our two options are

• Tell mum it just isn’t working at the current time, up to half the class is wasted and another child (we have a waitlist) could make better use of the slot, offer her the 2-3pm class and weekday class immediately with no waitlist (we have children in both classes waiting to swap to the Saturday morning so it would just be a swap)
• Keep mentioning to mum how tired she is, that she sits out a lot, and we have other times available but leave it to mum to decide if she should be moved

She is a lovely child and her mum seems nice too and I don’t want to do anything that would lose their business in the future. Would I be unreasonable to go with option 1 or should we play it safe and go for option 2?

Personally option 2 but I think maybe her mum knows best.
I have a 3 year old who does dance in the week, swimming on a Saturday morning. Honestly by 2pm on a Saturday she’s no good for anything. You’d get more out of her straight after the swimming lesson. After lunch etc she’s tired.
Also the logic that she’s too tired after a swimming lesson but would be fine after a day at school seems strange. There may also be no one to bring her then.
Personally I also don’t plan activities on a Saturday afternoon due to seeing family etc.
I would just assume you wanted my slot in the class with the waiting list.
Id politely decline your offer. As others have said her stamina will improve.
I keep having to do the same with swimming lessons. They ring me all the time trying to get me to a 4pm class on a Thursday (I’m at work) I sent them a rather direct email this time after having had the discussion every 2-3 weeks for the last 6 months 😂

She might be doing three dance classes a week, but are you sure it is three hours? Dance classes are usually 30 minutes for that age group, going up to 45 minutes from about age 6. Classes lasting an hour would be very unusual.

It is still too much for her though, to do swimming and then gymnastics straight afterwards.

4yos aren't exactly swimming flat out for 30mins they end up with lots of time waiting their turn.

I think she'll be more exhausted to fit the class in after school. And it probably clashes with other stuff.

I’d ask her Mum if she can bring her later on so she’s regained some energy. Any adult would be knackered after an hour of swimming so then to be expected to jump around doing gymnastics straight after is too much for a tiny 4 year old. She needs to move the slot if she’s keen on gymnastics.

@Sugarfree23 so probably she's getting a bit chilly, while waiting her turn? Especially as smaller bodies get cold faster than bigger ones.

This one!

Poor thing. Crazy parents putting so much pressure on tiny kids nowadays. Swimming, ballet, piano, football.... yay, your kid has got such a wonderfully busy life at just 4 years old. You deserve a medal !!

I think for the child’s physical health and mental wellbeing (she could become disheartened not keeping up with the other children) the family should be told that she is too tired to complete the session in a kind positive manner.

has anyone mentioned there maybe the option of the swimming lesson being changed?

But yes it should be the family that decides what they would like to do as they are paying for the service.
😊

A 30 min swimming lesson shouldn't be exhausting for a fit healthy 4 year old. Mine has one every saturday morning and is fine and she carries on swimming for at least 15 mins after the lesson. We aren't even a particularly sporty family!

Could she then Go straight to an hour or gym

Which is continuous running about - cartwheels - balancing on beams - jumping etx

The 4yr starts off ok but then after 30mins or so is tired from
Swimming probably and sits out the last half of the lesson

The thing is different kids have different ability to manage lots of activity, both physically, socially emotionally etc.

My DD could do activities all day long and not tire. My DS would struggle, mainly because of mental/social fatigue rather than physical. Pushing my DD beyond her limit would make her a little tired and grumpy but pushing my DS beyond his would lead him to melt down and become mentally unwell and struggle for a while after as he would need to recuperate.

I’m interested in people who think the gym should blindly fo whatever the mum wants. Of course the mum should know the child best, but the gym do have a duty of care and also presumably as a private gym they can turn down clients if they feel they need to surely. It’s not a publicly funded services or anything.

I’m interested in people who think the gym should blindly fo whatever the mum wants. Of course the mum should know the child best

An instructor would also tend to know more about the science/principles and practise of exercise and training than the mum, so they're actually in a better position to know what's best in this respect.

Straw man argument.

The OP doesn't have to be rude, confrontational or over the mark. But they can raise with the parents that the child isn't taking part in the full session and having a conversation about how best to deal with it.

@Glimpsey Did you speak with the mum?

I wouldn't bring up other kids or the use of time as that could come across like she's not as welcome as another child would be. If you're going to see about changing her slot then just casually say that she's tired a lot so if the mother wants, she's can swap her session to another.

But while you're not being unreasonable to want what's best for the child, it's not reasonable to assume that she can swap. So while you can put the option out there for her family to think about, this might be the only time/day available to them. And if the little one's not any trouble, I don't see the problem with her sitting out when she's tired. Especially as she'll likely start to join in for longer as she gets used to this routine.