Saying this child should not continue to attend activity

[Glimpsey]

I run a children’s gymnastics class, one of the classes is a Saturday morning, 10-11am. It’s for Reception/KS1 children, pretty relaxed, generally we have skills stations where a leader will be at each one and the kids can learn a specific skill, they move round these as they wish.
We have one child who started in September, she is a young 4 (summer birth), very sweet girl and seems to do well naturally, picks skills up very fast etc.
However, she comes straight from a half hour swimming lesson, by the last 20 minutes she is too tired and just sits out at the side. She is no hassle though.
She also does 3 hours of dancing in the week (mum was telling me).
Usually we’d never say a child shouldn’t keep coming to the class, like I said it’s relaxed and meant to be fun. This child is “better” than most her age and seems to enjoy it. However she’s exhausted by the end of the class!!!
My manager and I were talking and thinking perhaps we need to ask the parents to bring her to a different class, either later on a Saturday or after school one day, saying that she is very tired in the current class and may do better at a different time, but make it clear she’s lovely to have in class and is good.
We put it to the rest of the team to decide but we can’t decide. Our two options are

• Tell mum it just isn’t working at the current time, up to half the class is wasted and another child (we have a waitlist) could make better use of the slot, offer her the 2-3pm class and weekday class immediately with no waitlist (we have children in both classes waiting to swap to the Saturday morning so it would just be a swap)
• Keep mentioning to mum how tired she is, that she sits out a lot, and we have other times available but leave it to mum to decide if she should be moved

She is a lovely child and her mum seems nice too and I don’t want to do anything that would lose their business in the future. Would I be unreasonable to go with option 1 or should we play it safe and go for option 2?

Surely she would be exhausted at an afterschool class too, and with 3 hours of dance in the week how much other time can they have available? Mum is trying to give her opportunities no doubt but that’s a lot for a 4yr old.

I'd assume the mum goes straight from one to the other because she doesn't want to have to go home in between and then come out again. If she does one thing in the morning and one in the afternoon then that's the whole day gone.

I would just mention that the little girl is excellent but gets tired so if mum wanted a different slot then to let you know. That way the ball is in her court.

Poor little mite.

When I started my son on after-school piano lessons, aged 7, the teacher grilled me about what other clubs etc he did and made it clear he disapproved of children being scheduled to do something every evening, or sometimes 2 activities. I totally agree with him - it's just too much. Children need down time, and they just get exhausted.

This term is always the most exhausting for children yet parents overload with activities and clubs forgetting the need for down time. Such a shame

Option 3: Say nothing and don’t let it worry you.

If she attends the later 2-3pm class on Saturday she may be even more tired by then....

I think you need to have a kind, quiet word with Mum about her expectations for a four year old child. This is ridiculous. Explain that she is too tired and that is quite unusual in a child this young. Ask Mum to pick one of these classes or do them on a rota. This kid needs more unstructured quality play time, not death by clubs.

Option 1, mum needs to realise this is too much for a young child

@Glimpsey I was this child, ferried from sports, to dance to music lessons. My memories of childhood aren’t all that nostalgic.

I have an MA and I’m successful, but I have friends whose parents took them to some classes but also let them mooch around the house and watch telly who did just as well as me professionally 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think I would go with this one. Tell the mother what is going on with her child's tiredness and then let her decide what to do.

Option 2. Tell her mum, give her options and leave to her to decide. She may want to do the activities in the morning and have the afternoon free.

Poor child, 4 year old and 5 hours of activity scheduled per week

Option 3: Say nothing and don’t let it worry you.

As an instructress of course OP is going to be bothered about how well the kids are doing at the activity and how much the session is progressing each of them/how their health and energy levels are etc. She wouldn't be a good instructress if not.

Say nothing, it's completely normal for some 4 year olds not to have the energy or just the attention span to focus on a whole hour of activity.

Who cares? She'll probably be very able for it by the end of the year. Let her build up to it.

If the mum is oblivious to how tired her child is, that is worrying. Most likely because she is driven to pack in as many activities as she can regardless of the impact on her child. The kindest thing you can do for the child is to continue letting her have a well deserved break so she doesn't injure herself. As she gets older she should develop more stamina.

If you tell the mother I suspect she would remove her dc and take her to a class where she wouldn't get a break.

The choice must be the mothers….who would want to do an activity on a Saturday after at2 to 3pm? Not me ….stamina comes quick at that age once they get settled into school

On 3 hours of dance, gym and swimming every week at 4yo, I'd say this is a competitive mother. Just tell her you are moving DD up a squad because she's so talented. Mum will be all over it.

She's no trouble. Leave her to it not mention it to mum.

Just leave it. Maybe it’s the only slot they can do - you’ve said yourself wait list. She’s enjoying it and making progress. As she adapts she will have more stamina.

Unless you’re a mission driven organization that prioritises maximizing your impact over serving the clients you currently have, go with option 2.

You have no idea what the family juggle when making decisions about which classes their kids should attend. Tell the mother about the child being exhausted and, effectively, only getting a half session out her time there. Offer the option of swapping to a different time. But don’t make the decision for them. It’s patronizing and arrogant.

Option 3
Remind the while class that there are alternative classes on Wednesdsy at 4pm and Saturday at 5pm if anyone would prefer a different time

Mum might not know. She might not be able to make it.

I always think people forget just how much swimming wrecks you! We used to know number of kids that went to football and swimming with only and hour and a half or two hours in between and I really felt for them! Definitely say something, especially if she loves the class

Is it an activity where parents can stay and watch @Glimpsey? If so, I'd presume mum is already aware. She might not know about your other sessions so worth mentioning but if they can't/won't change and the child is still enjoying herself then I'd let her keep coming.

Just because she can do it doesn't mean she should. Ds used to do junior park run from the age of 4. He's brilliant at it and super fast for his age. When he was 6, he took up a sport which he could technically do after. So for a bit, he did both. He was knackered. Sadly it meant giving up park run, but thems the breaks.

I think the poster who suggested letting mum know and giving her the option of switching classes is right. Her mum might not even be aware that swopping is possible if your classes are super popular and you have a waiting list.

Not your decision ultimately but you should let the mum know she is sitting out for the last 20 mins, and let her know there is a later class. But say you’re happy for them to keep it as is too.

Exactly what I was going to say. It sounds like she is getting something out this class even though she’s having a rest at the end. It seems like mum is trying to force her into as many clubs as possible. I’d be worried about making her swap classes and the mum using this now spare time to make her so yet another one. I’d bring a beanbag and some colouring books to class and let the poor thing have a rest!