Saying this child should not continue to attend activity

[Glimpsey]

I run a children’s gymnastics class, one of the classes is a Saturday morning, 10-11am. It’s for Reception/KS1 children, pretty relaxed, generally we have skills stations where a leader will be at each one and the kids can learn a specific skill, they move round these as they wish.
We have one child who started in September, she is a young 4 (summer birth), very sweet girl and seems to do well naturally, picks skills up very fast etc.
However, she comes straight from a half hour swimming lesson, by the last 20 minutes she is too tired and just sits out at the side. She is no hassle though.
She also does 3 hours of dancing in the week (mum was telling me).
Usually we’d never say a child shouldn’t keep coming to the class, like I said it’s relaxed and meant to be fun. This child is “better” than most her age and seems to enjoy it. However she’s exhausted by the end of the class!!!
My manager and I were talking and thinking perhaps we need to ask the parents to bring her to a different class, either later on a Saturday or after school one day, saying that she is very tired in the current class and may do better at a different time, but make it clear she’s lovely to have in class and is good.
We put it to the rest of the team to decide but we can’t decide. Our two options are

• Tell mum it just isn’t working at the current time, up to half the class is wasted and another child (we have a waitlist) could make better use of the slot, offer her the 2-3pm class and weekday class immediately with no waitlist (we have children in both classes waiting to swap to the Saturday morning so it would just be a swap)
• Keep mentioning to mum how tired she is, that she sits out a lot, and we have other times available but leave it to mum to decide if she should be moved

She is a lovely child and her mum seems nice too and I don’t want to do anything that would lose their business in the future. Would I be unreasonable to go with option 1 or should we play it safe and go for option 2?

Be honest she’s exhausted in the class and you feel she’ll get more from the session if she’s not as tired.

tell mum you’re happy to try some other things so she can participate fully.

this might include allowing her DD to have time for a snack and drink just before the start if possible. (Sugar boost can work wonders especially if she’s gone from an early morning swimming lesson and perhaps not eaten/not eaten much for breakfast!)

or moving her class to a different time.

in class though, could you perhaps introduce a more chilled activity choice so the girl is still taking part but ‘resting’ think kid friendly yoga sort of thing where she can sit and rest or put this as a class wind down activity? It still fits with gymnastics skills.

there’s also the possibility mum is the kind of mum to fill her day with activities so your class might be the only place the girl can sit to the side and rest. It’s worth considering.

This little girl could get injured by doing this amount of exercise after a strenuous activity like swimming, her mother is way overdoing this for such a young child.

Tell the mother you are promoting her to a stronger class that takes place during the week...

You have a third option, which is to say nothing.

I think you are right that she is too tired after swimming. It sounds like mum is very keen on extra curricular activities though so might not pick up on your hints.
How about framing it around how well she is doing and that moving to a different time might help her progress more?

You can tell her there are other time’s available but she may have chosen this time for a reason and want her child to get good and tired. If she’s allowed to sit out when tired I don’t see how it’s hurting her. I certainly don’t think going home and then out again in the afternoon is preferable for her.

I would definitely mention to mum that she sits out for half of it and there are other classes available if they would be easier for her.

If the girl is enjoying herself watching then I wouldn’t keep mentioning it.

Some parents do like to over work their kids and if mum is happy paying for it then perhaps the girl could do with the break and I’d just let her watch and join in when she feels up to it.

Maybe she's more disinterested than tired?

Half an hour's swimming shouldn't knacker her out too much, when you consider how much actual swimming gets done in that time (generally not much).

A tired child in an activity such as gymnastics is an accident waiting to happen, as you know OP and I'm glad you let her sit at the side.

I'd certainly mention to the mum that she's worn out and too knackered to finish the class. Any chance that she's a pushy mum, do you think? Three hours of dancing a week plus swimming, plus a gym class for a child of four? That is well over the top.

Athlete and coach here....

My concerns would be potential for injury and child being turned off of sport being potentially "forced" to attend when so tired.
Exercise burnout / over-training is physical, mental and emotional and detrimental to athletic development and, in growing bodies especially, potentially physical (including brain) and mental development.
Rest is as essential as being active no matter the level of sport.

You have a fourth option which is to shout loudly what you think should happen in the child's mum's face, but that would be a stupid idea too...

I don't really understand why you are so timid about letting her mum know what's happening. Surely you have a professional conversation with her mum and decide between you what's best for the child.

Option 2! Does the mum know she sits out for part of the class?

I think it's unprofessional to post details online. This site is anonymous, but not private

If she's tired after 30min swimming and gym then she's probably exhausted after a full day at school. She might also be in afterschool care
Mum might only have a car available at the weekend.

So I think you give mum the option to move her but the mid week times may not suit.

I don’t agree NeedToChangeName This is not identifying, there must be 1000s of kids up and down the country doing gymnastics and loads of them will do it after a swim lesson… my own DC does! (but is 8 not 4). And the OP isn’t saying anything bad about the child anyway, just asking for advice.

I've worked in fitness and @Mumtobabyhavoc makes good points @Glimpsey .

You could tell the mum you think the girl needs to rest after her swimming. She could be at more risk of injuries and also will obviously be less keen on the gymnastics than she would be if she wasn't knackered. It sounds like the mum's making her do quite a lot of stuff tbh. Definitely suggest to the mum that another day/time would probably be better, and explain how the girl seems in class.

Surely there's a safety issue here's. If she's so tired she can't finish the class, is she risking an injury through tiredness?

Mum might only have a car available at the weekend.

I think OP's said the girl does some other physical activities too in the week.

I don't think it's anything to do with you. It's mum's choice.

At least with the status quo, this child gets some rest, recovery, and chill time for the second half of the class. Some time to think, some time to watch other people doing things.

Some parents push their children - though I've no idea whether the parents in question do this. If so, this "idle" time could be vital for the child.

So I would leave it be.

Poor kid. It sounds like she is very over scheduled for her age and is exhausted. My only worry about speaking to her mum about it is that mum will keep her in the class and bollock her for sitting out when she’s tired and force her to keep joining in when she’s worn out.

Doesn't the mum already know that her daughter only takes part for half of the class? If not, then you definitely need to tell her that, at least.

I'd say option 2 is best. If I was the child's mum, I'd certainly want to know if my child was so exhausted that she couldn't manage the full class, and I'd then want to make my own decision on whether to continue and hope her energy levels improved, or whether to move her to a later class, or whether to drop the activity altogether.

I mean, it might not even be the gymnastics class that they want to move - they might say they'll carry on with the class and move her swimming lessons instead.

Poor little thing. Only 4. Obv just started school sept

Swimming then gym is a lot

Then 3hrs dancing during the week

Is mum a pushy parent

My dd now 6 but was 4 was/is doing gym and swim

But on diff nights and a night off

Tue swim
Thur gym

That's it

But that tires her

It's possibly there are are no other spaces /times to swap swimming hence why mum does both same day

This is perfect

Option 2 better, but IF the child is in school (not sure from the post if the parent deferred her for a year due to being summer born), then I cannot see how she'll be any less tired doing a class after school.

It sounds like the Mum has booked this poor wee girl in for too many activities, 3hrs of dance, swimming, gymnastics, and probably school full-time too is too much for a just turned 4yr old, in my opinion.

I see it as a welfare issue. That’s too much for a child her age.