Saying this child should not continue to attend activity

[Glimpsey]

I run a children’s gymnastics class, one of the classes is a Saturday morning, 10-11am. It’s for Reception/KS1 children, pretty relaxed, generally we have skills stations where a leader will be at each one and the kids can learn a specific skill, they move round these as they wish.
We have one child who started in September, she is a young 4 (summer birth), very sweet girl and seems to do well naturally, picks skills up very fast etc.
However, she comes straight from a half hour swimming lesson, by the last 20 minutes she is too tired and just sits out at the side. She is no hassle though.
She also does 3 hours of dancing in the week (mum was telling me).
Usually we’d never say a child shouldn’t keep coming to the class, like I said it’s relaxed and meant to be fun. This child is “better” than most her age and seems to enjoy it. However she’s exhausted by the end of the class!!!
My manager and I were talking and thinking perhaps we need to ask the parents to bring her to a different class, either later on a Saturday or after school one day, saying that she is very tired in the current class and may do better at a different time, but make it clear she’s lovely to have in class and is good.
We put it to the rest of the team to decide but we can’t decide. Our two options are

• Tell mum it just isn’t working at the current time, up to half the class is wasted and another child (we have a waitlist) could make better use of the slot, offer her the 2-3pm class and weekday class immediately with no waitlist (we have children in both classes waiting to swap to the Saturday morning so it would just be a swap)
• Keep mentioning to mum how tired she is, that she sits out a lot, and we have other times available but leave it to mum to decide if she should be moved

She is a lovely child and her mum seems nice too and I don’t want to do anything that would lose their business in the future. Would I be unreasonable to go with option 1 or should we play it safe and go for option 2?

Irrespective of what the mum (or the child!) want, you have a duty of care to the child.

If she is too exhausted to take part in more than half the class, she should not be there. It’s a welfare issue and also a prevention of injury issue.

I would man up and tell the mum that you can’t continue to teach a child who is clearly exhausted and that you would love to welcome her to any other class but that she cannot continue to come to this one unless she stops swimming first.

I used to do exercise classes back to back, until I got badly injured because a muscle group was simply too tired. You owe it to the child to take her exhaustion seriously, especially as the mum is obviously an idiot.

I take my kids to many an after school hobby club. If one of the people who ran one took it upon themselves to have a conversation with me ‘about what’s in the best interests of my child’ when that would involve them telling me they were too tired to participate because I made them do too many clubs, I’d think that was way over the mark. They should butt out.

Leave her be.

its quite typical for kids that age, particularly if good at one sport like you say she is for her age, to move up swimming classes quickly. So this could just be a short term back to back classes and the swimming time will change soon - perhaps a discussion with her mother?

Bless her, I don't know why some families feel a young 4 year old needs to be so busy.

I don't think after school will work, surely she'll be even more tired?

I would explain to mum that she's tired and regularly sitting out and perhaps it would be better to wait until either she's a bit older or perhaps move to the 2pm class so she can have a rest between.

Sounds like the mum is underestimating how taxing the girls schedule is.

Let the mum know. Suggest maybe she needs a snack between classes.

The girl may well develop into it and be fine in a few weeks.

We got in from swimming earlier. Dd is shattered and bed 645/7 and sparko now

Same with thur and gym

Couldn't imagine her doing both her Tue and thur class on same day

Yeah, I teach piano and another instrument and I ask parents those questions too because if they are doing too many activities they won't have time to practise the instrument enough so it's just wasting everyone's time and the parents' money.
Also I sometimes get people ringing up wanting lessons who say the child only has time on eg. Thursday at 16.20 pm (or similar) and then list what they are doing every other day of the week. Crazy.

Option 2. It isn't your place to decide.

You chat to the mum and explain what you've observed. Suggest the other classes and then let her decide. Just say she's not benefiting fully because she needs to stop after half an hour so is missing out on half the activities.
I would not insist on her moving to the other class if they don't want to or can't. She might gradually get more stamina as time goes on and if she's doing well and she's no bother there's not a problem.
If the tiredness manifested itself as her becoming angry, or disruptive, or rolling around on the floor or whatever, then it would be a different story.

Who cares? Really wow

Option 1 but suggest to her mum that she might get more out of the later session as she seems to struggle towards the end and it could be a safety issue.

As she moves up in swimming stages she will probably have her swimming on a different day/time anyway. I would just leave things if I were you - from your title I thought you were going to say she was disruptive.

Some parents pack out their kids schedules as a form of child care, or coping mechanism for themselves. This little girl is very young, only 4. My daughter is 4 too and is exhausted and ravenous when I pick her up from school, at 3.30pm. I think it’s important for you to share with her parent, that the child is wiped out and would get better value from the class, at a time where she is less tired.

That crossed my mind too, she'll eventually move swim class.

Knowing there is a waiting list for Saturday and if Saturday suits her best she maybe feels even if LO is tired she will eventually build up the stamina. Mum may not want to loose that Saturday morning slot. It's popular for a reason.

The OP is a professional gymnastics teacher and it is part of her job to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the children in her gym class. This is not something that can just be ignored or swept under the carpet.

I think flattery will get you everywhere ( especially because it’s true)

you need to pitch it as the fact that this girl has natural talent, and is capable of progressing much more if she wasn’t so tired. Say you want to make sure the girl is able to enjoy it fully, as that’s the most important thing in keeping up and excelling at a sport.

so would be better to move her to later slot/ weekday. You could say that she can always move back in a year’s time when she is a bit older ?

I feel for her too. 3 hours of dance a week and she is probably just started full days in school judging by age. She is probably hanging. I nevet quite understand parents who want to fill every second of everg day for their kids.
This constant filling voids is what is robbing kids of their imaginations. Time to gey bored as my mum used to say, helps create a creative thinker.

I'd tell parent. As a parent, I would appreciate it.

How wonderful to have activity leaders who care about the well-being of their students and don’t want to just pack them in regardless as long as they are paying.

if she is so tired, I would think that could also potentially be dangerous for her?

I would say to mum how wonderful and full of potential you think the child is. Explain that she is only getting half as much as she could out of the lesson because she is sitting out just over half way through saying she is tired. Tell mum you have vacancies on other days if that would be better for them but totally down to her to decide but you really want child to be the best she can be because she has so much potential.

The Mum might prefer to knacker her out and spend the rest of the day on the sofa with her or doing relaxed activities, when my oldest was that age I used to prefer to fill the morning up (she got up at 5.30) to stop her bouncing off the walls and relax into the afternoon / eve, plus I wouldn’t want to go home and drag her back out.
let the mum make the decision

I don't buy this. A 30 min swim lesson for a 4 year old doesnt leave them too exhausted to participate in an hours gym class at 10 am on a Saturday morning. What you are doing in a gym class for 4 year olds will presumably be age appropriate and not comparable to the sort of strength & exertion involved in a class for an older child.

Its more likely she is a) bored b) lacks the attention span to participate in a class that length. Its not unusual. I have a dc the same age who attends a similar weekend morning activity and the younger age class (4-5) is 45 mins vs 1h for the 6-7 year olds specifically because after 40 mins most of the little ones start tuning out unless there's a higher number of adults to keep them engaged.

We got in from swimming earlier. Dd is shattered and bed 645/7 and sparko now
Same with thur and gym
Couldn't imagine her doing both her Tue and thur class on same day

Afternoon on a school night totally different to 10am on a weekend morning though.

Disclaimer: I am not a 4 year old. Nor, admittedly, a very strong swimmer.

But when I started swimming again in my 50s, I couldn't have lasted 30 minutes! I gradually worked up till eventually - Ta Dah! I could swim 12 lengths. Then I was done - and done for!

@Pooooochi swimming is exhausting for little ones

And the hour my dd does at gym she loves but comes out tired and sweaty from the dancing jumping balancing etx

I really couldn't imagine her doing both after each other tbh

I suspect she attends that class as she can’t make the other times available. If parents work during the week they might struggle with the other times. They might not want Saturday afternoon as it impacts other day being able to do other things. I’d maybe talk to parents about her being tired. She might eventually change swimming group times as she moves up the stages. I recall my kids on reception and they did get tired easily but give her another year and she will probably cope.