Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do "make" a child do something?

80 replies

littlegoblins · 13/11/2023 19:00

My child has got into their siblings bed and is refusing to move, other sibling is waiting to go to bed but they won't get out, I've asked sternly and they say no everytime I say get in your own bed.
Actually other child would probably swap beds for the night to stop all this but I don't want them to always back down to a child that is disobedient. Child in question is just 6. Sibling is an older 6, nearly 7.

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 13/11/2023 19:01

You physically pick them up and take them out of the bed. Theyre only 6.

DisquietintheRanks · 13/11/2023 19:02

Have you no arms? You just pick them up and move them.

Original poster
littlegoblins · 13/11/2023 19:03

Stressfordays · 13/11/2023 19:01

You physically pick them up and take them out of the bed. Theyre only 6.

Yes I've tried and they hold the bed frame making it a struggle and if I do manage they are straight up and back in again.

OP posts:
isthewashingdryyet · 13/11/2023 19:04

Tell the other child bed time is now at 9 pm, so shall you go downstairs with them and make hot chocolate’s for you and them only.

Stressfordays · 13/11/2023 19:06

Then you physically remove them from the room and hold them. Remove tech/favourite toys.

DisquietintheRanks · 13/11/2023 19:06

Are you a gentle parent by any chance? You keep taking them out and maybe try getting cross or issuing a consequence for not listening.

KnickerlessParsons · 13/11/2023 19:07

isthewashingdryyet · 13/11/2023 19:04

Tell the other child bed time is now at 9 pm, so shall you go downstairs with them and make hot chocolate’s for you and them only.

This is a good idea.

Also sanctions you carry out.

2dogsandabudgie · 13/11/2023 19:07

Think of a consequence that they won't like.

Boomer84 · 13/11/2023 19:07

At first I mis-read this and thought you were looking after someone else’s child. At 6 years old children should be able to follow instructions and if they refuse to, they’re clearly not disciplined, sorry OP.
is there a back story here that they usually play up and don’t do as you ask? This seems like a very specific incident to mention.

Hatty65 · 13/11/2023 19:07

You tell them sternly 'Get out of that bed now. Do as you are told or else you have lost all tv this week'. (Or whatever it is they like to do).

You are the adult, fgs. If you allow a 6 year old to control the house you're storing up huge problems for the future. You make the consequences for defying you extremely unpleasant for them.

Newtothis2005 · 13/11/2023 19:07

I second treating the older child. Tell them as they are behaving they can come downstairs for cookies and an episode of their favourite show - let the other child get bored

AutumnLeaves333 · 13/11/2023 19:08

I would also just take older child away downstairs to read a story and wait. Turn the bedroom light off and leave them to it. This sounds like a stunt my dd would pull though and it’s really frustrating but best not to make it a big deal and let them decide that it’s not a fun game when they are left alone upstairs. If they don’t chose to get out of the bed they will probably fall asleep and can be easily moved!

Kath85 · 13/11/2023 19:08

I would give them to the count of 3 with prior warning of losing their favourite toy if they don’t move and follow through if they don’t

minipie · 13/11/2023 19:08

They need to get out by count of 5 otherwise no screen time/pudding tomorrow

Shopper727 · 13/11/2023 19:09

I think a lot of it is being consistent and your kids knowing how far they can push/boundaries. Mine wouldn’t dare defy me once they’ve been told to move never mind holding on and getting back in. You need to show you mean it, and the consequences will be followed through on.

saying that makes me sound like my kids are scared of me, I was scared of my mum but then she hit us and could be quite nasty. I just don’t put up with shite. It’s tiring and is frustrating butting heads but don’t let your child stay, you’re right re marking sure they are in their own bed, lift them move them and get them to their own bed!! I couldn’t be arsed with that at bedtime!!!

minipie · 13/11/2023 19:09

Those suggesting go downstairs and do something fun with well behaved child - absolutely wouldn’t work in this house, the other one would just come downstairs and want to join in.

Original poster
littlegoblins · 13/11/2023 19:09

DisquietintheRanks · 13/11/2023 19:06

Are you a gentle parent by any chance? You keep taking them out and maybe try getting cross or issuing a consequence for not listening.

They share a room, beds on opposite sides of the room. I am more of tired parent that has no more energy for these bedtime games and need my child to do as I ask.

OP posts:
Pleaseletitbebedtime · 13/11/2023 19:10

Hatty65 · 13/11/2023 19:07

You tell them sternly 'Get out of that bed now. Do as you are told or else you have lost all tv this week'. (Or whatever it is they like to do).

You are the adult, fgs. If you allow a 6 year old to control the house you're storing up huge problems for the future. You make the consequences for defying you extremely unpleasant for them.

This is what I would do. My 7 year old would be motivated by loss of TV.

RedHelenB · 13/11/2023 19:11

Stressfordays · 13/11/2023 19:01

You physically pick them up and take them out of the bed. Theyre only 6.

This.

RudsyFarmer · 13/11/2023 19:11

littlegoblins · 13/11/2023 19:00

My child has got into their siblings bed and is refusing to move, other sibling is waiting to go to bed but they won't get out, I've asked sternly and they say no everytime I say get in your own bed.
Actually other child would probably swap beds for the night to stop all this but I don't want them to always back down to a child that is disobedient. Child in question is just 6. Sibling is an older 6, nearly 7.

What’s the consequence of saying no? If you have a wilful child you have to expect then to push boundaries, so you need a way of dealing with it that doesn’t escalate and allows them to make their own decision. My child will do similar and I say ‘fine, there will be a consequence unfortunately’ and wander out the room with my child scrabbling after me to avoid losing screens or football.

Shopper727 · 13/11/2023 19:11

and I know how tired you can be after a day at work, feeding kids etc then bedtime - single mum of 4 but it does get better as they get older,

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 13/11/2023 19:12

DisquietintheRanks · 13/11/2023 19:06

Are you a gentle parent by any chance? You keep taking them out and maybe try getting cross or issuing a consequence for not listening.

My thoughts too, stop giving them the attention and take older dc downstairs for a treat.
Is younger dc spoiled?

tescocreditcard · 13/11/2023 19:12

Tell him if he doesn't get into his own bed right now the killer clown with no eyes and a sewn up mouth will get him in his sleep Grin

SnapdragonToadflax · 13/11/2023 19:12

Move or there'll be no tablet/TV/pudding tomorrow. Or whatever they like. And stick to it strictly, no backing down.

I know it doesn't always work though. My normally fairly well behaved Reception age child is being incredibly defiant at the moment, despite my always sticking to consequences and having boundaries. It's very wearing.

tiggergoesbounce · 13/11/2023 19:13

What is the normal consequence for them being mean to their sibling and disrespectfully to everyone?