To ask how do "make" a child do something?

[littlegoblins]

My child has got into their siblings bed and is refusing to move, other sibling is waiting to go to bed but they won't get out, I've asked sternly and they say no everytime I say get in your own bed.
Actually other child would probably swap beds for the night to stop all this but I don't want them to always back down to a child that is disobedient. Child in question is just 6. Sibling is an older 6, nearly 7.

Then you keep doing it. You are the adult in charge and they need to understand that

Pull the mattress out from underneath

I do have one child who always does as I ask and one who just says no to everything but tonight I'm particularly tired and just wish I knew a way to get them to do as I ask because no seems to be the default followed by giggling.

That might work for your child, but for mine it would escalate the situation wildly. Either I’d get smacked in the face by a flailing arm or kicked in the shin by a flailing leg or even worse they would end up with a mark on their skin and go into school in the morning claiming ‘mummy hurt me’. I absolutely refuse to manhandle my child because of this unless they were being dangerous and at risk of hurting themselves.

@tescocreditcard The killer clown has tickled me 😂

The problem with consequences is that they are often inconvenient in some way for the parent enforcing it and sometimes for other members of the family

Take the TV removal for example, how do you do that but ensure the other child can watch the telly if they want

Parents need to ensure that no matter how inconvenient, they need to follow through, dont take the consequence away 'because you behaved well today' it undermines the consequence from yesterday

Dont threaten things that you cant practically enforce.

If it's ongoing I would give them a target to work too in your own bed and stay there no talking through the week and on Friday you choose a family film, dinner or whatever. Do separate bed times giving them 1 to 1 story and be consistent.

You’re the parent so parent. Pick up your child and take him from the bed. If he grabs on, remove his hands from the frame and try raising your voice a little. Stick him in his bed and remove all the things he treasures most until he shows you he can follow orders. He’s 6 and seriously shouldn’t be walking all over you. Toughen up because he will be an absolute menace in the future if you don’t keep his behaviour in check. You mentioned being tired but that isn’t an excuse to back down. Behaviour like this is exhausting but you have to keep on top of it so go back to basics and install routine. It’s not an overnight solution either so dig deep and put something in play.

First thing I ask myself in any situation is does this really matter or am I digging in because I think I should? Or - would I actually come out 'on top' (win) by seemingly not 'winning'?

If the other child is happy to swap beds then I would say it doesn't matter who's in which bed. Tuck them into their swapped beds and wish them goodnight.

You've made the bed snatcher's actions pointless. They haven't got the reaction they were looking for. You've made it unlikely they'll bother turning this into a nightly game.

. . . by pretending that you are giving their bed to their sibling and getting their siblings to jump for joy and make a big deal of saying 'wow you get to have so&so's bed' - they'll soon want their bed back. Kids always want what you tell them they can't have.

Our consequence for bad behaviour was no screen time or tv the following day. I would give a warning with my expectation and then count slowly to five. If child was still in the wrong bed the consequence would stand the next day. I would probably put the other child into my bed and then move them both once asleep.

A lot of traditional parent is carrot or stick
So 'if you dont do this you wont get ipad time' or 'children in their own beds get extra whatever'

I actually have a child with asd who doesnt really get rewards and consequences so i have some more creative ideas around depersonalising demand, distracting using humour. At a guess, I'd need help putting other child to bed and fabricate a role for the defiant one.

But they arent for tired parents at the end of a long day!

That would be the easiest solution but as my other child does exactly as they are told it wouldn't be fair to let the other get their own way to pacify them because they play up otherwise.

this, decide if it's a battle worth fighting, or make a game out of it with the other child. I have a very highly strung oldest and and things would escalate massively if I tried to fight this with punishment etc.

Find your stern face and tell them to get out of bed and get in to their own bed. if not you just take them out and put them in their own bed. If they don't do it, then you have to find the consequence that will metaphorically hit them hard, be it favourite toy removal, no tele, whatever.

Put other child in your bed while you deal with the misbehaving one.

They are in their own beds now. Thank you.

I feel for you op. As much as we love our kids they can be little shit wombles at times.

Think of decent consequences, threaten and count to three then follow through. Every. Single. Time.
Do it for 8 years and then you won't have to again.
Simples.
😎
Being a parent is very tiring.💐

If you threatened a consequence, make sure you follow it through. Otherwise they'll know you don't mean it.

Hang in there, OP. x

Tell him if he doesn't get into his own bed right now the killer clown with no eyes and a sewn up mouth will get him in his sleep

Can we just have a moment of appreciation for this? 🤣

I have a 7yr old that's a bit like this at times.
I tell him I'll phone his teacher....
He moves faster than his legs can carry him then!

Usually threats of removal of iPads, tv, toys, friends parties etc work.
Failing that absolutely losing my shit has never failed yet

If your child is telling you no and then laughing about it then they have no respect for you and no fear of consequence.

Do you intend to sanction her for the way she has acted tonight? I imagine she knows she will get away with it.

BettyOBarley · Today 19:40
I have a 7yr old that's a bit like this at times.
I tell him I'll phone his teacher....
He moves faster than his legs can carry him then!
This works! It even works on older children! Thank you teachers.