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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Everytime my stepdad helps me out he always expects something in return!

41 replies

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 18:59

I’m due to have a baby in December and I need to make as much money as possible. I breed Maine Coon cats and I have a gorgeous litter that I’m selling in order to put aside to add to the money I’m making for a deposit for a house…. Anyway my window was broken and my mum said my stepdad could come & fix it for me, no worries. So he fixed it and the following week I was sat with my mum & she said “don’t you think you should give Graham one of your kittens?!” For reference his never had to work a day in his life and owns several properties & they live very comfortably. I’m struggling to get by right now so I replied “mum it’s a business and you already have 3 cats he doesn’t even look at anyway”. I just thought what a bloody cheek. He virtue signals that he just wants to help (the window still isn’t fixed by the way) and that he cares so much about my well-being but is happy to watch me struggle (fine by me) but behind my back thinks because he fixed my window and made a call that I didn’t ask him to make to the landlord that won’t sort out the damp issue that he is deserving on a kitten I’m going to sell for £700!!!!!!

OP posts:
NotStartedChristmasShoppingYet · 13/11/2023 19:03

Next time she suggests he comes to fix something just decline and say you don’t want to be beholden to him again.

Givejimmybluntachance · 13/11/2023 19:07

Are you passing the money on to the cat who did all the work?

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:17

Oh be quiet!

OP posts:
Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:18

Good shout . Thank you :)

OP posts:
SunsetCurtain · 13/11/2023 19:19

Anyway my window was broken and my mum said my stepdad could come & fix it for me, no worries. So he fixed it

and

He virtue signals that he just wants to help (the window still isn’t fixed by the way)

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:20

@SunsetCurtain

”fixed”
I can’t open it or it falls apart so I say fixed and then I corrected myself by saying he didn’t really.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2023 19:21

You mum has three cats which your stepdad doesn't look at and your mum asked your to give 'Graham' a kitten, which she will presumably have because he doesn't care about cats. And your mum volunteered Graham to fix the window. Are you sure Graham is the issue?

CorvusPurpureus · 13/11/2023 19:23

What on earth is your stepfather going to do with a random kitten?

Meanwhile, backyard breeders are despicable. So maybe stop doing that.

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:24

@MrsTerryPratchett my family are pretty dysfunctional so I wouldn’t be surprised.

OP posts:
AngryBirdsNoMore · 13/11/2023 19:24

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2023 19:21

You mum has three cats which your stepdad doesn't look at and your mum asked your to give 'Graham' a kitten, which she will presumably have because he doesn't care about cats. And your mum volunteered Graham to fix the window. Are you sure Graham is the issue?

Spot on as ever, @MrsTerryPratchett

EvilElsa · 13/11/2023 19:24

Refuse every offer of "help" in the future, big or small. If asked why tell your mum.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 13/11/2023 19:25

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:24

@MrsTerryPratchett my family are pretty dysfunctional so I wouldn’t be surprised.

It’s not about dysfunction, OP. It’s your mum who is looking for a free kitten. Not step dad.

Are you a registered breeder?

HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 19:26

YABU for being a backyard breeder. There's enough cats in the world that don't have a home ffs.
I thought the government put a stop to shit like this.

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:26

@CorvusPurpureus

adopt don’t shop if you like but all my kittens go to lovely homes. They are fixed too. My stud and queen have a good quality life and are not locked in bloody cages. I know people that brag about adopting kittens from shelters but smoke cigarettes around them and neglect the poor f&@“kers

OP posts:
misssunshine4040 · 13/11/2023 19:32

Why all the hate ? She isn't running an illegal cat farm. She breeding a breed of cat and it sounds like she knows what she is doing..... am I right OP?

It does kind of sound like you expect your step dad to help you out financially as you mention he enjoys watching you struggle

Kastri · 13/11/2023 19:34

If you are paying rent to a landlord,they are responsible for repairs.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2023 19:34

Sickofit189 · 13/11/2023 19:24

@MrsTerryPratchett my family are pretty dysfunctional so I wouldn’t be surprised.

Oh love. Work on being as independent as possible and get some counselling to look at the family stuff.

All the best.

IncompleteSenten · 13/11/2023 19:34

Since you know that about him, don't accept his help unless you're willing to trade with him for it

Stephy1024 · 13/11/2023 19:36

I feel like this post took a turn quickly.

Luxell934 · 13/11/2023 19:37

Sounds like your mother is the actual problem here.

I hope you are GCCF registered to breed these cats.

VickyEadieofThigh · 13/11/2023 19:38

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2023 19:21

You mum has three cats which your stepdad doesn't look at and your mum asked your to give 'Graham' a kitten, which she will presumably have because he doesn't care about cats. And your mum volunteered Graham to fix the window. Are you sure Graham is the issue?

Exactly .

Neriah · 13/11/2023 19:41

SunsetCurtain · 13/11/2023 19:19

Anyway my window was broken and my mum said my stepdad could come & fix it for me, no worries. So he fixed it

and

He virtue signals that he just wants to help (the window still isn’t fixed by the way)

Quite. OP full of holes. Step father also said nothing - it was mum.

I'm sure OP is declaring all her income.

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 13/11/2023 19:45

Whys everyone being dickish?

Good on op for making some extra income.

But as MrsTerryPratchett says, I don't think Graham is the problem.

Gall10 · 13/11/2023 19:49

HamsterBanana · 13/11/2023 19:26

YABU for being a backyard breeder. There's enough cats in the world that don't have a home ffs.
I thought the government put a stop to shit like this.

Second this!

OhpoorMe · 13/11/2023 19:53

Can I ask if it makes you much money OP?

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