Was I being a smart arse?

[ducklin]

Was having a conversation about Christmas with my SIL last week and she started telling me about a company that you can buy letters for your DC from Santa, I replied with 'Yeah I've heard about them but I just write my own'. She then called me a smart arse and stropped off! I didn't intend to be a smart arse I was just stating a fact that I do it myself. WIBU and being a smart arse? I hate it when people are cross or upset with me and so would like some other peoples views!

How old is your SIL?

Nothing wrong with your response IMO - if I were your SIL I would've asked for some advice on how to do it myself instead of paying a company.

Seems a bit of an over reaction to me. Maybe she was excited to tell you about it and your muted response took the wind out of her sails? Still, it doesn't sound like you were rude or smart arsey so try not to worry

I don't know, but I think any head space you're giving this is far too much 🤷‍♂️

It sounds like she thought you pissed on her chips, you're saying you didn't.

I couldn't get fussed.

Do you really write your own Santa response letters and post them back to your children?

Regardless her response was rude, unless your tone was really off, which of course we can't possibly know. It's not very adult of her to name call and strop off, just because she didn't like your response to her comment.

Just ignore her, too much drama.

Are you an ‘elevenerife’ type person? It sounds like she was excited to tell you and you dismissed it. Like a kind of ‘been there, done that’ sort of thing.

I think she was just excited to tell you something and you kind of ruined it by being all sensible.

She suddenly realised she had been duped into paying for worthless tat that she could have gotten for free.

It's not that you were being a smart arse.

Can’t believe how you’re both behaving, that you’d even start a thread on this nonsense or I even clicked on it. Grow up the pair of you.

I used to type letters from Santa to my own children and post them. They were completely taken in until they were old enough to realise Santa wasn't real. The companies that do the letters are onto a winner though, if you don't have access to a printer. Plenty of people are willing to pay for them. You're not a smart arse, you just took the wind out of her sails with your comment.

What’s even more comical is the post office does it for free. You just pop your kids letter in the post box, I get mine to do it with me, and the post office writes back a letter from Santa . No charge.

Just to say I don't actually pay the postage, I literally type them put them in an envelope and say they came in the post! My kids ae very small and will believe anything.

Maybe I am giving this too much headspace but I hate the thought of someone being cross or upset with me

I mean, it sounds as if she’s massively over reacted. But also I have a friend who would have responded a bit like you - every time I’m excited about something or talk about something I’m looking forward to, she manages to dismiss it or make it sound a bit shit or silly. I stopped spending time with her in the end. It sounds as if that’s what might have happened here. Couldn’t you just say something along the lines of ‘oh that sounds fun, I’m sure they’ll love it. I write my own and the DC get really excited.’ Rather than just ‘oh yeah I’ve heard about that - I write my own.’ Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to just be nice about something.

If I were you I would just wallow in the glory of having wound somebody up while expending so little effort in doing so - that took me years of arduous practice to perfect! GOOD SHOW!😂

She's a grown woman. I'm sure she knows pens and paper are available.

I think this is one of those threads where hearing the SIL's side might change things. Not that we will, obviously.

But she might say something like...

"Yeah I don't know what was wrong with me and why I was so grouchy, it's not OP's fault".

Or something like...

"It was just the last straw, she'd been a fun sponge all day".

I think tone is important here, it sounds like you were condescending and that wound her up.

Do you often have to always do one better?

In this scenario, your SIL massively overreacted but some people have to always compete with whatever you say.

I’m wondering if whenever she says something, you try and outdo her.

Yes which is precisely why the OP is not being a smart arse🤷‍♀️

That’s what I’m wondering.

Whether OP tries to outdo her or be negative about whatever she says.

It would be odd for SIL to get so upset over this one comment.

I think it's precisely why she came across as a smart arse.

It's like someone saying "I'm going to a nice restaurant tonight", and someone else saying "I just cook my own food".

Pointless fun sponging.

How is it "outdoing" someone to say they do their own? Sounds like lots of people look for offence where there is none.

But that example isn't being a smart arse either. I do get for that example they are 2 entirely different non-comparable things but to say you do your own replies isn't on the same lines at all or outdoing someone. It's just saying what you do. I guess I live in a world where I don't get offended by other people's trials things then.

Often when people say "Smart arse", they just mean something along the lines of "You've got an answer for everything".

It's just a phrase.

You did nothing wrong.