Is a manager allowed to comment on weight?

[Dystopia5]

really hope someone can help.

ive been struggling at work recently. On paper everyone thinks I’m doing really well, but I feel like I’m losing more and more confidence and I’m becoming worse and worse at my job. I won’t bore you all with the ins and outs of it but that’s it summed up

I do not have an eating disorder but I’ve accidentally lost a lot of weight recently- I didn’t mean to and I do love food but when I’m stressed I just can’t seem to eat. Like last night I got home from work and it just seemed so much effort to go into the kitchen and make food, I don’t know why because it’s not any effort at all but i just didn’t feel like it so I went straight to bed instead. I hadn’t eaten lunch because I was doing extra work. That’s the sort of bad habit I’ve got into and the problem is it keeps happening when I’m stressed. When I do try to eat when I’m stressed it tastes like cardboard and I can’t really swallow it it’s just horrible, it’s like stress is controlling me

my weight has dropped and my bmi is around 16-17 now whereas it was 21 3 months ago (normal for me). I’ve been wearing baggy clothes as much as I can but with out uniform it’s still obvious I’ve lost a lot of weight as a few colleagues have said it and I’ve just quickly changed the subject because I obviously didn’t want to talk about it

But now since people have noticed, im terrified someone in charge at work is going to comment on my weight- mainly because if they do I’ll probably burst into tears about the whole thing. My managers have noticed things like me working over lunch and we have our annual meetings next month to discuss how we have been doing and I’m so worried they’re going to notice I’ve been working over my lunch and I’ve lost weight. But they won’t do that will they? It’s personal life so they can’t comment on it or say anything about it can they? I’m just terrified I lose my job or I get demoted or something, or I’m scared they ask and I burst into tears or become an upset mess about it. But im guessing and hoping they won’t be able to say anything about it at all?

I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle of being stressed and losing weight but also not wanting to lose weight but not feeling like eating much either, and now I’m terrified I’ll lose my career for it or get into trouble for it at work.

A good manager should be concerned about your health and wellbeing. Please make that appointment with your GP to get some proper help with this.

@Dystopia5 do you think you may be depressed? This sounds like the start of a cycle. Has something changed at work to create this extra stress?

You're missing lunch so then when you get home you don't have any energy to do anything.

Could you have a sandwich at your desk - very much the norm where I work - so you eat something and still get to make up some time?

I would also talk to your boss and/or GP.

They are expressing concern about your well-being. To be honest though, if I was observing a team member going through a lot of weight loss and not taking lunch breaks and generally seeming stressed I'd be forcing the issue of what the problem was a lot more than OP's managers seem to be.

OP I know you think you need to keep working through your lunch hour but next week I think you should try the following

Walk briskly in the fresh air to burn off some nervous energy and possibly sharpen your appetite for half an hour. If its sunny you'll get vitamin d, if it's cold you'll probably get an appetite.

Then eat a sandwich or some warm soup and a bread roll.

Read a trashy novel for ten mins before heading back to your desk.

Make a GP appointment to check there's no medical reason why you're losing weight and to discuss your anxiety.