Please can I have your opinion on this domestic

[Plikujyhtg]

Parent A
Parent B
DS (7)

DS 7 had a friend come round to play after school. Unbeknownst to Parent A and B, friend had gone into the parents' bedroom and jumped up and down on the parents' bed. DS didn't stop the friend, although insists he didn't join in.

When friend went home, Parent A was annoyed that DS didn't stop friend from entering his parents' bedroom and jumping on the bed. Parent A told DS that they couldn't watch the football on the TV that evening. DS was upset and cried for 5 mins. Then was fine.

The above is just some background context for the following:

Half an hour later: Parent A and Parent B are upstairs with DS and getting him ready for bed. Everybody's mood is fine.

Just before getting into bed, Parent A plays a game with DS. Parent A won't play the game the way DS wants them to. DS gets upset. Parent A refuses to back down.
Parent B intervenes to calm DS down. DS calms down and says he wants to watch football. Parent A says that no he can't due to earlier events with friend. DS gets upset and starts crying. Parent B tries to calm DS and regulate his emotions before bedtime. DS is still upset and whining. Parent A says "I'm going to kick off in 30 seconds if you don't stop. Do you want me to kick off?"

Parent B is aware that Parent A's kicking off means shouting loudly and getting angry. Parent B says "ok guys let's tone it down".

Parent A is now angry with Parent B for undermining them and left the bedroom annoyed.

Is Parent A justified to be angry with Parent B?

parent B seems to be incredibly undermining, and very uncompromising

Parent A is an arsehole

parent B is making me feel upset and angry just reading that OP! Parent B is likely pushing everyones buttons and winding everyone up

well, neither parent is covering themselves in glory, but parent B is the one I would have to leave the room to avoid wanting to smack them in the teeth!

I don’t see anything undermining about what parent b (you obviously) said but also don’t like the “do u want me to kick off” comment. That’s wholly unacceptable.

before bed shouldn’t really be ‘game playing’ esp if there is hightened emotions or a chance for that.

however, why are BOTH of you blaming your ds for another child’s behaviour especially when you weren’t even looking out for them.

both parents deserve the punishment not the child!

As if parent A makes threats at a 7 year old to kick off. A 7 year old child that doesn't have the same level of emotional control as an adult. And was a little sad they couldn't watch football. Parent A is abit of a cunt!

I'm not sure you needed all the A and B stuff. I think we know which one you are.

Parent B did undermine Parent A, so parent A is justified in being annoyed in this regard.

Parent A has done some very questionable parenting though, so I'd say parent B also have every right to be annoyed.

It sounds like A and B could do with some parenting classes.

DS sounds like a bit of a whinge bag, but who can blame him stuck between two quite different parenting styles.

Parent A has poor parenting skills - no one should be "kicking off" at a 7 year old. It seems to me like parent B is just trying to mediate and calm everyone down.

trying to maybe, but in the most controlling , patronising, rage inducing manner possible

Parent B did undermine parent A but it sounds like he deserved it

Child shouldn’t be punished for his friends behaviour.

Parent A sounds like a gaslighting bully. Not sure why people are getting so annoyed with parent B

You are clearly parent B

Neither parent really looks great in your description of events, unfortunately

Parent A is a

My first thought is this was all a completely rediculous reaction to a child bouncing on a bed.. like completely bonkers. The bouncing on the bed thing is such a non issue past "please don't let your friends in our bedroom".

After that parent A sounds like an asshole.

Why is a child being punished for his friend doing such a small thing? That wouldn't even fizz on me at all - kids bounce on beds, it happens, why is it such a big deal?

Parent a and parent b needs to grow up. Sound like they are both playing off against each other - should be working as a partnership

Parent B did undermine parent A but it sounds like he deserved it

This. The 'I'm going to kick off in a minute' thing is at best pathetic parenting, at worst a bit of a red flag.

Sounds to me like parent A likes to get their own way and if they don’t everyone knows it so parent B (aka OP) has to placate everyone to try to keep it calm.

Jumping on the bed? Hardly crime of the century is it?

I expect the Parent B helps the child regulate themselves a lot as parent A is volatile and unpredictable.

Parents A and B should not do bedtime together. It doesn’t take two to put a kid to bed, so play nicely and take it in turns.

"Parent A says "I'm going to kick off in 30 seconds if you don't stop. Do you want me to kick off?""

Parent A needs to learn that a 7 year old is not responsible for their feelings and subsequent behaviours. That's an entirely inappropriate thing to say to a child and comes across as threatening. So I agree with pp that parent a is a dick.

I can however see why parent A maybe felt undermined, but I also agree that at bedtime is not the time to make a stand over a point since the child has already had no football as the consequence. I think it really depends on how parent b has gone about deescalating things and what they said as that's not clear from the post.

I’m finding all the criticism of Parent B strange.

from this description I dont expect they help at all, I expect they stir everything up and feel superior while doing it - I know someone like this

God this. What's with the upset? Why is your child being punished at all?
You are B, clearly. Your dh sounds like a bad tempered, stubborn idiot at best.

@secondfavouritesocks

I know someone like Parent A who has to ‘win’ at all costs even with a 7 year old and does zero to maintain a pleasant interaction.

B doesn’t sound superior to me. They sound like they’re scared of A’s temper.

Parent A aka Dad is an arsehole. Fancy threatening to kick off at a 7 year old. Poor kid must walk on eggshells no wonder he's upset. Not his fault his friend went in bedroom. It's up to parents to supervise what kids are doing.