People moving out of cities but wanting all the things that a city offers

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Messages go something like this;
Hi, my husband and two kids and I are moving out of our one bed flat in x city and would like to find an area we can afford a four bedroom detached house. It MUST have great transport links to a neighbouring city, a thriving home Ed community, vegan bakery, great Lebanese food, a variety of brunch places and cool live music venues.

But that's why we all live in cities?!! There is no magical semi rural place with all the nice, cultural bits, jobs, facilities, public transport with cheap houses.
City life isn't for everyone so you either compromise on space or location. If you move out to the suburbs or the countryside then you know that you will no longer have those things in walking distance.
This is not just on mumsnet but in real life too. I work in a much cheaper area, bits are nicer, there is more green space but it's just not worth giving up the job opportunities, museums and like minded people you get in a city. My friends that have moved out have changed their whole life styles, more driving, more countryside, more meals in chain restaurants in retail parks, I'm not judging it at all! As someone who can barely afford to live here, I can't afford to eat out at all so all the new, cool pop up street food places are wasted on me anyway. But I still love being here.
AIBU

(Actually, I think that should be "many" not "most." I don't know what % of English villages are within commuting distance of cities and don't know if it's the majority. It's certainly quite a lot of them, compared with other parts of the world. Even in France, which is only half as densely populated as the UK, there are far more villages that are genuinely very remote and are hours away from anywhere....and not surprisingly, rural areas are poorer and cheaper than cities in France, unlike in the UK.)

It's in Bucks

Nope - but close to.

I love the countryside for a visit but as a Londoner (born & raised) who lives a 8m walk to the station & decent high street (note not the same for everyone in London) I cannot stand the idea of having to drive everywhere so just wouldn’t move to many places. Equally we do get plenty of people who move to London & aren’t happy with the downsides of a big city.

Well arguably the people posting for advice on mn are the ones trying to do their research so that they don't become someone who uproots their family and regrets it.

And they are right to do that because those places do actually exist. I live somewhere rural that has all of the things in OP's joke post, except great live music. For that we have to go into the city - 15 min train or 20 min drive.

But it is annoying when people move, regret it and then try to change their new community for the worse. My new neighbour is trying to get street lighting on the roads and areas that are currently unlit at night, but who wants more light pollution, we all like it as it is.

I suppose it's human nature to sometimes regret your choices, or to grumble about where you live. The people who like it are probably the silent majority, so you just don't hear from them.

Amersham isn’t rural! It’s solid commuter belt, yes, even if you live in a village. I’m in a village outside Amersham and we definitely haven’t “moved to the country” 😂

People use the term "village" very liberally in the UK! In my parent's posh suburb, the pool of local shops and surrounding houses (which is perfectly nice but surrounded by normal 1930s semis and not separated from the city in any actual way) is described as the "village" by everyone who lives around it. I'm like, no, it's a suburban shopping precinct. I think "village" sounds more aspirational to some people's ears.

I didn't say it was (or that I mean Amersham).... still has all things OP was talking about but not in city (except cheap houses) 🤷‍♀️.

Okay, South Bucks then. No it’s not “the city” but it’s key commuter belt.

The OP also pointed out you couldn’t get these facilities outside of a city as well as cheap housing so you’ve made her point for her really.

I live in central London. Small council flat that costs as much as a big house in the North. But apart from housing, everything else is cheap. Of course,you can spend as much as you want on stuff, eating out, entertainment, but a meal out for under £20, cheap local theatre, so much going on that's free. I haven't owned a car in 25 years.

Also good schools, local libray, hospitals- not what they were perhaps, but still good.

And half an hour on the train takes me to the big green spaces at the edge of London or within it.

No way I'll ever move out

The number of people that try to take out injunctions against out church bells…

It's too early for this. Have a wonderful day.

We live on a smallish island, you can imagine what some folk moan about.....

That said, saying 'Oh I really wish I could just go and buy some Percy Pigs today', jokingly, every now and then, isn't the same as actually expecting an M and S Foodhall to open up magically just because I need some sweeties.

https://originalshrewsbury.co.uk/

Moved from Brum to Shrewsbury a few years ago and adore the place. Whilst locals may say they have seen the Town centre decline it is still a lovely place to live all things considered.

Sounds like you're complaining about a lovely place

but how did you get stuck there for 14 years if you didn't go by choice?

I live in Northamptonshire. Somehow the whole county manages to be in the middle of nowhere. Even the BBC don't know where it is. Sometimes our regional news is east anglia, sometimes London and sometimes just 'midlands'.

It's the long stretch of nothing very much you drive through heading north once you are past Milton Keynes.

We once spoke to a very nice couple who had done a kind of 'escape to the country' and bought a big house which needed lots of work. They were rapidly realising that the reason the house seemed so cheap was because it was on the outskirts of a small town with one special measures secondary school and a high street in a state of terminal decline.

<waves cheerfully>
yes, you've summed it up really well

Me too ! Im in Spain and the expat Facebook pages have some proper idiotic comments. Last week was the annual " where can we go to see a fireworks display on November 5th?!!" - erm, the UK?
People choose this part of spain because of the rural beauty then complain that they have to drive to the nearest shop !

Same as when I lived at home ( Ireland), people would buy a lovely property in the country then moan about tractors, cattle being moved, the noises, the smells. Its the sodding countryside, not a countryside theme park !

oh I know how and shy It happens. Just that nobody ever blames the sellers for prices going up / the lack of housing. Just the incomers.

There was a thread on MN which showed just how different 'urban' and 'non-urban' life can be.

OP's DS had ended up on the wrong bus home from school. Had been chucked off the bus at the end of the line and parents had had to go out to find him.

Cue lots of urban MN posters demanding to know why he hadn't just got a bus back, why he hadn't gone into a shop or asked a passer-by for help. Total disbelief that such things don't necessarily exist even in populated areas outside of cities.

Enjoyed reading the thread! I guess it's me a bit. I moved in a commuter town and I've been longing to go back to the city, not for lack of amenities or transport links which are fine, but very hard to meet new likeminded people.
The town centre is the weirdest place, a stark contrast of John Lewis/ Waitrose customers in and out of their lovely cars, usually quite middle aged; and the next towns chavs throwing bottles at the station assistants who dared ask to see a train ticket. Nothing in between.

I don't do home Ed, but just wondering how do you know if you have one thriving in your town?

@H34th

You always know about home ed. Much like vegans, they will let you know.

Ha, I guess not one here then!

Re local inhabitants selling their houses for higher prices to newcomers:

I know it's easy to say "They should sell it to a local person for a cheaper price!" but....

a) If the house prices within the area have gone up generally, I'll also need to find more money to buy my next property, assuming I'm moving to another property within the same sort of region. If I sell for the kind of price that my house might have gone for decades ago, I won't be able to buy my next property.

b) If I sell my house at a nice low price to a local, what's to stop them promptly selling it on again to the next incomer at the same high prices that everyone else sells these properties at? If they do this, the house will end up being sold at a high price to an incomer anyway...and I'll be left looking like a fool.

I can appreciate the dilemma and I don't know what the answer is, other than building more housing in these areas, which most villagers protest against like crazy. Less AirBnB/"holiday let" crap, and a return to hotel tourism, is the only thing that occurs to me which might help.