It’s a nativity one I’m sorry

Toarrie · 2023-11-08T19:31:24+00:00

Please be kind with me I have a rather upset DC, year 1. So DC has been talking about nativity all week and how they have a minor speaking part. Turns out that part has now been given to another boy, DC was told and told they will just be part of the chorus. Children were apparently asked what they wanted to do (sounds chaotic with a number of changes) and DC specifically said they wanted a speaking part and teacher said they would get them one. Cue one very upset child. now I understand not everyone can have a part but why ask and then promise parts to 5/6 year olds if they can’t deliver? DC is gutted that they will be sat on a bench at the very back behind all of the children that have parts. should I flag to teacher that child is upset? I don’t want to be that parent (and in no way am I expecting them to now have a part) but also I don’t want me/DC to come across as push overs?

Mirandathepandaisontheverandah · 08/11/2023 19:39

In a similar situation. DD has a nothing part in hers this year and is very upset. We decided just to take it on the chin and look into other drama and performing things for her to do at the weekends.

Nativities are rubbish and just not worth the drama of making a fuss. There's like six actual parts and a whole bunch of miscellaneous shepherds and animals hanging around with nothing to do.

On top of that parents get seriously nutty. We had two Marys at one of DDs nativitys last year because of ridiculous parent politics.

LittleRedYoshi · 08/11/2023 19:43

Sorry, I'm not clear on what you mean. Was your DC expecting a different role to the one they got (because the school set the expectation they'd get their preference)? Or was your DC allocated a role by the school and then they took it away and gave it to someone else?

Iam4eels · 08/11/2023 19:44

There are loads of reasons why this could have happened which could include there not being as many speaking parts as originally thought, teacher has given out a speaking part that had already been allocated to another child, DC was given the part but couldn't do it/didn't want to do it when it came to rehearsal (happens a lot and the children will still say they want a speaking part but there's a disconnect between 'want to speak' and 'will actually speak'). I'd let it go, it's not worth it for the sake of a half hour show of barely contained chaos.

Original poster

Toarrie · 08/11/2023 19:45

Two Mary’s!!! That’s madness. I totally get not all can have parts. Just hard consoling DC who just wants to be involved in everything, especially as they thought they had a part.

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Hotandsunny · 08/11/2023 19:46

I would just check with the teacher what actually happened and then do your best to console your DC.

Original poster

Toarrie · 08/11/2023 19:46

LittleRedYoshi · 08/11/2023 19:43

Sorry, I'm not clear on what you mean. Was your DC expecting a different role to the one they got (because the school set the expectation they'd get their preference)? Or was your DC allocated a role by the school and then they took it away and gave it to someone else?

Well I’m actually not clear myself. DC thinks they had the role and it was given to another boy but I wonder if they were both in the running for it and he was picked rather than DC. I’m not sure whether to leave it so seek confirmation from school

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FortofPud · 08/11/2023 19:48

Gutting for them but I think it's a far better lesson thag things are disappointment sometimes and to take it on the chin (with sympathy from you) than for you to talk to the teacher. Maybe encourage them to ask teacher if they can please be understudy for a speaking part. It might get a no, but again useful to have a go at advocating for themselves and trying to find solutions to disappointments.

Original poster

Toarrie · 08/11/2023 19:50

FortofPud · 08/11/2023 19:48

Gutting for them but I think it's a far better lesson thag things are disappointment sometimes and to take it on the chin (with sympathy from you) than for you to talk to the teacher. Maybe encourage them to ask teacher if they can please be understudy for a speaking part. It might get a no, but again useful to have a go at advocating for themselves and trying to find solutions to disappointments.

I hadn’t considered there would be understudies 🤣 I am not sure it would help DC as I think they would be even more gutted on the day that they didn’t get to do it

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Needmorelego · 08/11/2023 19:51

Maybe during the rehearsal it turned out he wasn't very good. I don't mean that horribly but there is a big difference in being enthusiastic and actually being able to follow stage directions and remember what to say etc.

Zanatdy · 08/11/2023 19:52

Takes me back. For the year 6 production my shy DD actually went for some roles. She only got a minor part and I was quite disappointed it could have really helped bring her out of her shell. The main part had so many lines, god knows how she learnt them all, wish it could be more balanced. What is frustrating is same kids in the main parts year on year.

user1846385927482658 · 08/11/2023 19:52

A calm conversation with the teacher for you to understand their perspective and for them to understand the impact on your child is important.

If they don't know, they can't handle it better with future children.

user1846385927482658 · 08/11/2023 19:54

Needmorelego · 08/11/2023 19:51

Maybe during the rehearsal it turned out he wasn't very good. I don't mean that horribly but there is a big difference in being enthusiastic and actually being able to follow stage directions and remember what to say etc.

It's a year one play, not a West End production. It's going to be painful and awkward regardless of casting.

Needmorelego · 08/11/2023 19:57

@user1846385927482658 but the child needs to be able to say the lines and act out the scene. If they literally can't do that - then they can't be that part.
I wanted to be a monkey in my Infants play - but the monkey scene involved doing cartwheels.
I couldn't do cartwheels so I couldn't be a monkey.

SouthernBel · 08/11/2023 19:59

Don't be sorry! And I say that as a primary 1 teacher currently rehearsing for a nativity! Firstly, nativities absolutely can be done fairly, it requires thought and extra effort to adapt scripts/ add in parts etc, but I hate if one child has 50 lines to say and there are others sitting there without lines! It's our job as teachers to nurture the children's enthusiasm and enjoyment! Anyway, rant aside, I would definitely (gently) ask the teacher for clarification as to what happened. If the role was up for grabs, and the teacher said 'who would like it' and two boys put their hands up, then it seems like a misunderstanding from your DC (understandable, he's 5!) as to who had been given it, but if she had actually awarded it to your son and then took it away from him, then that isn't ok and needs addressed. I would also, again gently, say how incredibly disappointed your child is not to have a larger role, and was there any way one could be found for them, even if it was one word (roles like this can always be squashed in I say from experience). It wouldn't annoy me if a parent asked me this nicely and sympathetically - I would hate to know there was a child so upset about something that's meant to be fun and would want to try and fix it for them. Good luck!

Pinkpinkpink15 · 08/11/2023 19:59

Zanatdy · 08/11/2023 19:52

Takes me back. For the year 6 production my shy DD actually went for some roles. She only got a minor part and I was quite disappointed it could have really helped bring her out of her shell. The main part had so many lines, god knows how she learnt them all, wish it could be more balanced. What is frustrating is same kids in the main parts year on year.

It was so bad sat a nearby school that the kids ended up being called 'Mary' 'Joseph' etc etc permanently!!

it's a difficult balance between letting them all have a turn & using kids you know you can rely on.

LylaLee · 08/11/2023 20:01

My kid was a door one year. The line: no room in the inn.

Lochness1975 · 08/11/2023 20:05

Maybe an understudy part? I was understudy in my year 6 play unfortunately the star got chicken pox on the day. Sorry not sorry lol

JustMarriedBecca · 08/11/2023 20:07

At our school they each have similar numbers of lines except the main characters like Mary and Joseph who are often silent parts.

So they'll give "a main part" to one of the quieter children so they feel more involved and then dunno, the third sheep ends up being the comedic role of the whole performance.

You never know quite what you'll get.

I quite like it.

JoKy · 08/11/2023 20:08

Most teachers just want an easy life and will nearly always pick the same kids that they consider good at acting when they should really try and encourage those that would gain from those roles but needs little push.

User562377 · 08/11/2023 20:13

One year my kid was a sausage 😀
Luckily he was very excited about it because his teacher convinced him it was a very important part, even though he didn't have any lines. I guess a speaking sausage wasn't very realistic.

Original poster

Toarrie · 08/11/2023 20:22

SouthernBel · 08/11/2023 19:59

Don't be sorry! And I say that as a primary 1 teacher currently rehearsing for a nativity! Firstly, nativities absolutely can be done fairly, it requires thought and extra effort to adapt scripts/ add in parts etc, but I hate if one child has 50 lines to say and there are others sitting there without lines! It's our job as teachers to nurture the children's enthusiasm and enjoyment! Anyway, rant aside, I would definitely (gently) ask the teacher for clarification as to what happened. If the role was up for grabs, and the teacher said 'who would like it' and two boys put their hands up, then it seems like a misunderstanding from your DC (understandable, he's 5!) as to who had been given it, but if she had actually awarded it to your son and then took it away from him, then that isn't ok and needs addressed. I would also, again gently, say how incredibly disappointed your child is not to have a larger role, and was there any way one could be found for them, even if it was one word (roles like this can always be squashed in I say from experience). It wouldn't annoy me if a parent asked me this nicely and sympathetically - I would hate to know there was a child so upset about something that's meant to be fun and would want to try and fix it for them. Good luck!

Thank you. That was really helpful. I need to clarify what has actually happened. It sounds as if things definitely could have been fairer. I believe there are a few big speaking parts, more small speaking parts and then some non speaking parts. Then everyone else is chorus (i.e doesn’t have a part and don’t even go on stage)

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Original poster

Toarrie · 08/11/2023 20:24

User562377 · 08/11/2023 20:13

One year my kid was a sausage 😀
Luckily he was very excited about it because his teacher convinced him it was a very important part, even though he didn't have any lines. I guess a speaking sausage wasn't very realistic.

Brilliant! DC would probably be happy with that too but the just being shoved in the chorus isn’t sitting well with them.

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TheFifthTellytubby · 08/11/2023 20:32

Toarrie · 08/11/2023 19:45

Two Mary’s!!! That’s madness. I totally get not all can have parts. Just hard consoling DC who just wants to be involved in everything, especially as they thought they had a part.

DCs' school did a production of Bugsy Malone with TWO Blouseys - both on the stage at the same time, singing and saying the lines. It was totally bizarre. There was more than one performance, so they could easily have shared them. Never got to the bottom of that one! 🤔😂

Sartre · 08/11/2023 20:45

They shouldn’t have giveth then taketh away, that’s rather cruel.

I can sympathise with him not getting the part he wanted though. My DD is much older, she’s in year 7 now but she cried her heart out a few months ago when she wasn’t given a bigger role in the year 6 leavers production. Honestly sobbing for about an hour and she doesn’t usually get upset about things.

carddino · 08/11/2023 20:45

My daughter same age, very bright and accurate has told me for weeks she is a sheep.

Letter home today, she is a mouse, the entire class are, there appear to be no sheep.

So she's furious at me reading this out of her homework book as she believes she is a sheep, but I suspect she's either misheard or misunderstood