Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

Everyone is entitled to enjoy Christmas. Parents don't automatically get priority just because they spat out a few miniature versions of themselves.

While your point is correct, that is fucking offensive and is not what parenting is at all. I get so sick of hearing this mini-me breeding replication bullshit. It's reductive and unpleasant.

I do have a job that doesn’t require me to work Christmas Day. I was merely stating an opinion, I didn’t say one was right or wrong. And I did say that everyone has family they want to see over the festive period. Why you felt the need to pick 1 sentence from my post and be catty I do not know

I think it really depends on how your work organise things.
I work in care home so service 24/7, and working Christmas or New Years is expected.
Every year before Christmas rota is coming out all the staff are asked what's the preference, we have the list to put our names down for Christmas or New Years or both. Some of my colleges celebrate Christmas some New Years more.

There was never a problem (and I worked in a few care homes and solutions was always similar).

I have a kid, never worked on Christmas day, but I worked on every single New years day, eve or boxing day.

I think a terminally ill parent is different.

Apart from anything else, if someone's parent is terminally ill, they might well die at Christmas and the employee won't turn up for work anyway due to compassionate leave. So, not your safest bet to cover that shift.

This would mean if you don't have kids you would never be able to have Christmas off..

No, you misunderstood me, I was saying it doesn’t matter what a persons home circumstances are , they are entitled to their leave if it comes up on the rota!

@80sMum

you say Christmas in it's current form is just for kids.

where does that leave our family then? Broadly speaking we have an older generation (in their 50s and 60s) and a younger one ( in their 20s and 30s). As yet no third generation of nieces/nephews/grandkids and of course there is no guarantee there will ever be that 3rd generation. Does that mean Christmas is over for us, unless and until one of the youngsters has a baby?

Most of us are churchgoing Catholics who celebrate the religious festival but also enjoy celebrating the secular side in a big family group. No presents but a big get together, decorations, lovely food, wine, singing and games. Some come from overseas to join in. Apart from funerals it's about the only time we all get together these days.

Are we supposed to give all that up because there are no children in the family? It's absolutely not going to happen!

Stay strong, OP! You have every right to your Christmas Day off.

What might help is (while employers can't get involved in swaps, obviously) they could put out a message by email saying

Christmas leave is allocated on a rota basis. Please do not approach colleagues with requests to swap shifts. Those willing to swap a Christmas shift will post (give location/noticeboard/email etc).

OK, it's not going to solve the problem completely, but it might deter some CFs, and you could then respond 'Have you checked the list of people willing to swap?@

It's definitely your turn to have Christmas off @Mysticcatmu. Fend off those cheeky beggars trying to muscle in on your time with your family and feel no guilt at all. They've had their chance. 🌹

I get Xmas day off but it’s the only bank hol that I get off. This year, I have Boxing Day off too but I too have been deluged by requests to swap as others have small children. It’s a flat no from me too. Stay strong, you are not in the wrong here. You deserve a day off to spend with family.

Nurse here so also used to working Christmas. Have the day off as you have been rostered. Even though you don’t have kids you still have a family to spend Christmas with. It used to annoy me too when people would say I should work it before I had children. I have young children now and would never ask someone to work my Christmas Day for me (it’s different if they offer). If you go into certain professions you go into them know that you will have to take your turn working Christmas.

Pre-children I would often volunteer to work Christmas in exchange for having a long stretch off over new years so I could go away but that was my personal choice and i wouldn’t expect others to do the same.

I'm lucky I'm self-employed and I can do as I please, and this is one of the things that makes me so glad it's the case. I've chosen not have children, so if I was working in an office or a shop, and people with kids got priority, that would mean I'd never get to have a Christmas off what 50-something years of working life? How is that fair?

YABU for using the word 'entitled'

I don't see what's wrong with them asking, and you saying no.

I also don't know what you're supposed to do if you're a single parent and down to work Xmas day and don't have anyone who can look after your kids - it's not like you can get childcare on xmas day.

I've never been asked to swap but I've worked 7 out of 9 xmas since I've graduated (most of those 13h days from 23-27th when trusts won't alter the rolling rota pattern). What bugged me is all other staff going "oh you're working it forbade extra pay are you"....nope theres zero pay premium for drs you just get an 8h day in lieu for ur 13h shift (never understood that one). I think we should do like the rest of the theatre teams where do half a day each

Stay strong. I have it in my place too. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you are automatically entitled to have all the holidays off, enjoy your Christmas off. I know I will.

Take the day! My sister is a doctor and has no children. She doesn't mind covering for those who do, but there has to be the occasion when she can enjoy the day with her own siblings and nieces and nephews!
My own father (doctor) often had to work Xmas day even when quite senior.

But if someone with a terminally ill parent is on the rota to work, I don't think it's CF territory to ask for a swap in the same way it is for someone who has kids just because they have kids.

Why should one person’s circumstances be more important than others - as an employee having children is irrelevant. You’re there to do a job - no one has priority.

Do these parents ask other parents to swap?

Whether or not you have children is irrelevant. All employees shoud be treated equally.

Absolutely. It's your turn to have Christmas day off and no one should be pressurising you.

OP is using entitled because despite her being rostered to take the day off, parents are asking her to give it up for them because they have children and she doesn't so they need that day off more than she does. The very definition of entitled.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/entitled

Take the day off. Just because you've not got kids doesn't mean you don't hs e family to spend it with.

well its fine to ask and fine for you to say no

This comes up every year. No you’re not unreasonable to have Christmas off. You’ll be hard pressed to get many people thinking you are unreasonable, even on Mumsnet (I note that 98% YANBU at time of posting), so maybe Selfish And Entitled Parents are not as common as first appears.