Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

See I have kids but before I had a child I loved Christmas so much.. Like to me it's the highlight of the year and I get so excited for Christmas day, it never loses its magic.
So if anyone used the I have kids excuse, when to me my family and Christmas was just as important, I thought fuck off, you've had your turn now it's mine.

I still think the same, I understand wanting to spend time with your children but the system has to be fair. I find it sad that some people think those without a child should never be able to enjoy Christmas day.

Used to work in 24/7 environment (nurse) we did year about so you worked with same people at Christmas then next year with them at new year. Sometimes I did both as ex was police and I needed to to accommodate his shifts. Now work 9-5 mon/Fri and and he works from home such a relief 😅

YANBU at all OP. I do have young kids but before them Christmas was still a big deal in our house, I never get people who say it’s just for kids. Or when people suggest adults can just swap the day, you can do that with children! I have a 6, 3 and 2 year old, I could fairly easily move Christmas Eve and day to a day later now if I needed to. I’ve done it for birthdays when we’ve been on holiday.

It would be a bit trickier with the 6 year old as she can read the date but it’s still quite easy to keep them away from anything with the date for a couple of days and distract them with the park. I think it’s harder with children age 7-9, but they can understand that their parent has work.

It is, but tbh no one needs an 'excuse' to have a day off that they're legally entitled to.

I have neither children nor elderly parents, and I've learned to stop making excuses or fishing for reasons when asking for holiday or refusing overtime. It feeds into the idea that your legally entitled rights are a privilege and you should be almost apologetic when requesting and grateful for it being granted.

My time off is mine to do as I please, even if it is nothing at all.

Who has voted YABU?! And why?!

My DF, DH and I all work in areas where we may need to work on Christmas day. But in your previous post you said that, because we are all adults, there's nothing to stop us having a meal a week later because we don't have children to celebrate the day with.

What's this assumption that people without children think that NYE is more important then Christmas?

YANBU

say “no thanks” to their request for a swap and no more about it.

Honestly, drag your hairy knuckles back to your cave.

If you want kids and every Christmas off get a job that isn't rin in shifts over 24/7/365.

Everyone is entitled to enjoy Christmas. Parents don't automatically get priority just because they spat out a few miniature versions of themselves.

Pre kids I would, where it was convenient for me, work Christmas day to allow parents to have time off. However one company (well known automotive emergency provider) rotared everyone off and asked for volunteers to work. At 4 times you normally hourly rate lots of people always came forward.

Op they can ask and you are quite within your right to say no. No explanation is needed. If you feel you ought to then "I have worked the last x years on Xmas day so it is only fair I am.rotared off" is all you need to say.

I worked for 6 years as a nurse and did Christmas every year so parents could be off with kids. As soon as I had my own I changed jobs to a 9-5 that closed bank holidays so I knew I’d be off. You make your choices in life and as a parent if you work shifts there’s a good chance you’ll work Christmas every so often. I changed my job as I wouldn’t want to miss it with the kids but I don’t begrudge everyone taking a turn. What if you’re a nurse for 35 years and don’t have kids?! People also do have the option of using requests (eg asking for Christmas eve night so you can get home for presents then eat Christmas dinner before work again- sleep in between obvs!).

Whatever your circumstances you deserve Christmas Day off too especially if you have had your turn working it in previous years.

if you work in certain sectors you expect to have to work over Christmas and unsocial hours as it’s the way it is. People have all sorts of different christmases so the people who will be working will have to adjust their plans for this year. It doesn’t mean Christmas is ruined for them or their children.

it sounds like your Managers are very fair with the rota which is good to hear. Hope you enjoy your Christmas and the day off this year because in years to come you will be working over this period when it is your turn again.

Worth bearing in mind, too, that not all jobs pay overtime for Xmas working. Mine doesn't, which came as a shock to many posters on the last thread on the topic, who appeared to feel that parents were doing us childless folks a favour by letting us take the double/triple pay shifts.

I'd be rich if every parent who'd essentially forced management into scheduling me on Xmas for the last 7 years had paid me some cash instead. Would've made me feel a lot better, too. But PP are right - the magic etc is apparently priceless until they have to reach into their pocket for it.

@UniversalsnailIf I didn't have children now I doubt id be doing anything at home on Christmas day that is more worthwhile then a parent spending Christmas with young children

Ah a value judgement - as a childfree person my life is less worthwhile than a parent. Lovely.

@80sMum *it's just a date. Would it really make any difference to adults whether they arrange to meet up and have a lovely family meal together on the 25th of December or on the following weekend - or on any other date when they're all available?

For adults, what's so special about it being on that one specific date? It's not as if they're all expecting Father Christmas to show up!*

For shift workers (the people who tend to work Christmas) it's not that easy... DH is working 24th, 25th, 26th nightshift this year. I'm off those dates but back to work on the 27th as I'm not a shift worker. I would quite like to see my husband at Christmas every so often. This is his year to work and we accept that, because he had last year off due to a similar rota system to OP's work. Why should he have to work every Christmas and never get to spend it with his family just because we're adults?

Incidentally, this is the first year they've had issues with this system. New staff with kids are kicking up shit at the fact they have to work Christmas. They are nurses - why is this a surprise? Also due to the generous NHS sick policy, you just know the entitled little fuckers will phone in sick and sit at home on full (enhanced PH) pay

No I wouldn't - hence why I said the OP should enjoy her day off.

But personally I have and would offer to allow young children to enjoy that magic with their parents. But my adult plans were easy to rearrange, I know that's not the case for everyone or they simply would choose to prioritise themselves which is fine :)

Maybe you should consider a job that doesn't require working on Christmas just for those 'few magical years' then.

I have.

The question asked was "So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?"

I think that op is U to think that she doesn't deserve the day off.

So the rota is open knowledge to all staff and when they spot you're not scheduled to work that day and they know you're childfree they make a beeline for you to ask you to swap? I think management should tell people to stop harassing colleagues in that way.
You are entitled to have your turn at a nonworking Xmas whether you have kids, family or just a goldfish you'd like to see that day. This idea that Xmas is for kiddies and your plans therefore don't matter is crap. No need to justify, just no to everyone that asks (but they shouldn't ask!).

Most people tend to imagine childless people as being pre-kids (so in their 20s or early 30s). They don't think about childless not by choice or childfree people, who can be any age up until retirement age.

That's also why they tend to think it's fair that parents get priority - they assume everyone without kids will go on to have them and then get 'their turn'.

When confronted with the reality of childless NBC/childfree people, they resort to accusing us of being selfish for prioritising our miserable, non-magical Christmases (usually involving being alone with solitary mince pie and TV) over the proper family one.

There are only two types of woman in their minds - the party animal who hasn't matured enough to have kids and therefore doesn't need Xmas off, and the sad old bugger who doesn't know what true Christmas magic means and therefore doesn't need Xmas off.

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Imagone if childfree in these situations oeft and company would end up with just this type of parents. Who would they bully then...

Because CF people are mindless hedonists who take any opportunity to party and get drunk due to having no grown up responsibilities, of course.

This childfree person ignores NYE, and invariably is tucked up in bed well before midnight.

There are? I'm not being sarcastic...Just taken aback.

When I was still working as a secondary school teacher, my HT would make adjustments for teachers with young children, but not for me. (My late husband was left with hemiparesis following his stroke.)

I've only heard of reasonable adjustments being at work for someone who is actually disabled themselves.

Cos all we do with our lives is sit quaffing champagne and napping, so obviously we prefer NYE... Someone on the MNers without children forum posted a really insightful comment (IMO) about this. A lot of women with children seem to look at women who don't as immature. Is it because they relate their own maturity to having a child, rather than just getting older? I can't phrase it as eloquently as that other poster did, but basically it seems that some mothers assume childfree women are the same as that particular mother was pre-kids - probably mid 20s and carefree. But even if we don't have kids we still get older, have elderly parents, caring responsibilities etc - other things that make us grow up.

These people know the working hours before taking the job, YANBU and should you wish to have the day off make it very clear to each and every person who asks you that the answer is a firm no

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