Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

Could you set up an e-mail auto-response: “Thank you for your message. Please note that I will be out of office on 25th December as per the published rota”

Well said! We're in a similar position, but with a teenager instead of a 20something. Why are we not entitled to enjoy a Christmas celebration all together on the 25th just because we don't have a young child who still believes in Father Christmas among us?

Yes thank you @MrsDanversGlidesAgain I know what entitled means

In this situation they're not acting entitled, if they did they would be demanding to have the day off and complaining to the manager etc.

They're asking. And OP is allowed to say no.

I dislike the word entitled because it's used to make anyone who asks if something would be possible sound as if they're being outrageous. It's a 'how dare you even ask' response which is just anxiety-making. Nothing wrong with asking, nothing wrong with saying no.

I really don't understand the argument that parents must have Christmas day off. I know for a fact that my mother and grandparents care more for the exact date of Christmas than my 6 year old DD.

Little kids are quite flexible, they do not care whether they are having presents on the 24th, the 25th or the 26th. Last Christmas I didn't even tell my DD it was Christmas, she found the Christmas presents under the tree and she was ecstatic.

My DH works shifts and he's worked on Christmas before. It's as big of a deal as you make it.

I have kids and I wouldn’t ask! You’re more than entitled to have Christmas Day off. Don’t falter! You can do this ♥️

In 2004, I uttered these words to a demanding colleague (we worked in the 24/7 - year round duty office for a large travel firm). She was down for the 7.30am - 7.30pm on Christmas Day.

‘You’re right, I don’t have children, however my elderly, lonely parent does, ME’.

She walked away with a tut (and then called in sick on Christmas Eve with a 3 day sick note).

I never forgave her, I got the call at 4pm from my very stressed and apologetic Manager on Christmas Eve and had no choice but to cancel my Christmas with my Mum. I left hers (2 hours away from where I lived) at 10pm on Christmas Eve to head home again. It was just as well I was back close to work to be fair, as the Tsunami hit on Boxing Day and we were all called in - she never came in though as still ‘unwell’.

I don't think it's fair to ask someone who is off.

But we work split shifts and generally try to work it so those with kids are on the afternoon (meaning they get Christmas morning, Santa, present opening and an early lunch) and those without do the early shift so they can have a 3pm type lunch and, importantly, a drink!

I’m also an emergency worker in my spare time and would always work Christmas. It comes with the territory

People don't have kids for the good of society, they have them because they want them. At least in the UK where there is generally good access to contraception and abortion.

But that's probably a topic for another thread!

Enjoy your day off - you are entitled to it whoever you spend it with.

If you gave in and offered Christmas Day to one colleague, others would be upset. Also, you would be expected to do it every year.

I can't understand how workplaces make such a hash out of this year after year. There should be a rule that protects those who don't have children from being harassed. Maybe anyone willing to swap Christmas Day (if their is anyone) could give their names to HR and HR could match them with someone looking to have Christmas Day off.

Blimey. How many times. There is no terminally ill parent. I was listing a number of possible family situations none of which, I think , should, would or could be trumped by an entitled person with small children who wants to swap. The fictional person with the fictional terminally ill parent has fortuitously been put on the no work rota, and I for one am only too happy that they are going to take this opportunity to spend what could be their fictional parents last Christmas with them and I really hope they ignore the mutterings from fictional Chloe in finance who had already ordered the matching family Christmas pjs back in .August and is now feeling mighty peeved that her planned Instagram post showing her perfectly decorated tree surrounded by perfectly wrapped presents and her delightful family beaming in anticipation of a glorious Christmas day of photo opportunities has been scuppered.

🎄

exactly!

do you think this is ok @TheJubileePortrait ?

When I was a young nurse with no children it was as more important to me but that was my preference
And things change .

You 100% have the right to be off, especially as you have worked previous Christmas Days.

I'm unable to take my daughter's birthday off work this year due to staff members having already booked time off. It's just the way things go.

don't give in you're entitled to the day off, it's your turn and it's there in black and white. Have lovely Christmas with your family x

My son who was in the Fire Service also had this and colleagues who had children would ask to swap. He did swap for six years but with a different person each time. He did need the extra money, and he lived alone at that time. Although since, he has said it was very lonely and not a nice day at all, on call and being by yourself, missing out on the family Xmas Day.

So do you think that someone who hasn't got any children - maybe because of infertility or bereavement - should NEVER get Christmas off, @TheJubileePortrait? Can you not see how unfair that is to them and their families - as previous posters have said, they may not have children, but they do still have families who they might like to spend the odd Christmas with!

I'm lucky that my jobs have never required me to work Christmas day.
I'm also a parent (and a massive Christmas fan in general) and value that privilege even moreso now!
However, if I were in an environment where I had to work Christmas, I would do my fair share and celebrate with my DD, regardless if anyone (childless or not) had it off.
OP - YANBU and absolutely have the right to have Christmas off to enjoy yourself. Your colleagues do have a right to ask for a swap, but are incredibly rude to specify their reason being because you have no children.

Read some of PP's reasons for saying 'no' to the swap has been brilliant! Not going to lie, if it were me (and I didn't have children), I would just say "because I enjoy Christmas as much as parents and their children, if that makes me selfish, then so be it!" (insert appropriate hand gesture, hair flick and walk away like I'm on a catwalk!)

I’ve been asked to work Christmas before so that someone with kids could have the day off.

“No. Lol”. Was my reply.

*Yes thank you @MrsDanversGlidesAgain I know what entitled means

In this situation they're not acting entitled, if they did they would be demanding to have the day off and complaining to the manager etc.

They're asking. And OP is allowed to say no*

Well as far as I'm concerned the fact they even think they'll ask instead of allowing OP to have the holiday she's been given by management demonstrates entitlement.

Of course they’re acting entitled. The very act of asking puts unfair pressure on someone.

Not everyone is assertive enough to say no and not everyone is assertive enough to say no and not feel guilty or anxious about having to refuse someone.

The decent thing to do is NOT ASK.

Especially as these people know OP hasn’t had Xmas Day off in years. She has MORE THAN paid her dues.

Just ignore
if someone asked because they have kids I genuinely wouldn’t mind and might swap

but to add because you don’t have kids would piss me right off wouldn’t swap even if I was considering it

You are not unreasonable at all. As @Haydenn says, your family is not lesser simply because you haven't procreated. Happy Christmas! Enjoy it, guilt free.

Ignore, stand firm, and enjoy your long overdue Christmas Day off.

All four of my boyfriends have been cathedral singers which means it’s taken as a given. I know they’re older than your DCs but one of their families took the particularly cool approach of having another Christmas about a week after the first one, I was invited, all the working adults took the day off and we played Christmas games and ate Christmas lunch before he (and I) got a present. I was a bit overwhelmed because I hadnt expected it and had never had a “happy” Christmas but they all laughed and said they got a whole extra Christmas Day! As well as that, you know you’re playing a vital role and really, when it comes down to it Christmas is one day of 365 when you’re sacrificing some time with your children to be a crucial cog in the health service machine just when others most need you.