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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

898 replies

Mysticcatmum · 08/11/2023 11:15

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

OP posts:
Morgysmum · 10/11/2023 09:48

I would reply, I have worked the X amount of Christmas in a row.
So no sorry I aren't working sorry. You deserve a Christmas off, I have a son and had to work a Christmas shift, I explained to him, that the people I was working with, couldn't manage without me. (care worker) we had presents before my taxi came to take me to work, then we had a buffet style tea when I got home. He was only 7 but understood, they needed my help.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 10/11/2023 10:18

I think HR should put out a bulletin stating that hassling people about their Christmas/NY shifts will result in a disciplinary action. I’ve been on the end of that AND I had little kids at the time. (But then, when I was rostered on for Christmas, I sucked it up and gladly accepted the extra pay rate and arranged the day around it like a big girl.)

Velvetdragon13 · 10/11/2023 10:47

My mother was a district nurse - she passed away when I was 10 years old.

Every Christmas day she worked, we never had a Christmas with her.

It's not unreasonable at all to ask for one Christmas off despite the fact you have no children, it is insensitive of colleagues to suggest that!

If I survived 10 Christmases without my mum and the rest of my life without her, their children can survive a Christmas where their parents are working.

Carzo · 10/11/2023 12:12

I remember offering to do Christmas cover in work , because I said you know I was single then and had no kids , and my boss said to me why are you doing that? Are you an orphan?

Catsknowbest · 10/11/2023 14:24

Yanbu - the day off has been given to you and that's that. Don't let others try and make you feel bad

Talkingfrog · 10/11/2023 14:46

YANBU.

If you have worked other Christmas, which has allowed others to be off, now it is your turn to have the time off ( whether you choose to celebrate with family or not).

Family doesn't only mean children. People without children can still have family- parents, siblings, nieces/nephews grandparents etc are all family.

If you choose to swap with someone and work that is fine, but it should because that is what you want to do, not because someone has pushed you into it.

LlynTegid · 10/11/2023 15:02

I'd guess some of those who advocate you should work on Christmas Day are those who expect shops to be open on Boxing Day and New Year's Day.

Lovely17 · 10/11/2023 16:54

Personally I’d be telling the lot of them to fuck off. You’re entitled to Xmas day off, child or no child. If your employer wanted them to be off Xmas day then they would be off. Simple as that! Have a lovely Xmas x

JollyHostess101 · 10/11/2023 17:21

Enjoy your Christmas off!!

when me and husband both used to work I’d offer to work it for someone I WANTED to help out and anyone who asked would get a flat no!!

Allergictoironing · 10/11/2023 21:08

I luckily don't & have never had a job that means working Christmas day. But as the "child free" person I was never allowed the time between Christmas & New Year off, or the weeks either side of Easter, or half term weeks, or any of the weeks over the summer holidays. I was limited to taking my holidays outside of ANY school holidays. I was always the one who had to work late if something needed finishing off, or the weekend if something had to be done then, as others had childcare responsibilities.

I was expected to turn a blind eye to people doing about 2/3 of the work I was doing because they were late most mornings due to school runs but always off on time or early for the same reason, taking extra time out to take their kids to doctors or dentists appointments etc.

Last straw for me came when I was asked to cancel my booked holiday because a parent wanted a day off to go to her child's bloody sports day in late June and I was "only going on holiday with your father not with kids".. That was when I stopped being the "kind" person, and started to take my share of the favoured days off.

This year (totally different organisation) I have volunteered in advance to work those days as my only real plans are Boxing Day when we aren't open anyway. But that is because there were no expectations about me doing it, and I have been thanked very gratefully for the offer.

EmmaInScotland · 10/11/2023 22:26

Besides all the other reasons for not offering, how do they know that for you Church on Christmas Day isn't really important?

1sttimemum1602 · 10/11/2023 22:37

You deserve your time off too, and I say that as a care worker for 10 years with children who always had this issue. I wanted Christmas off to visit my family and was guilted and annoyed year by year parents who expected me to swap with them. I don’t mind people asking but don’t get mad when I say no. Christmas isn’t just for children. I now for the first year have a child and after being on maternity leave last year was prepared to work this year. My work are kind and gave me it off, but next year I know it’s my turn.

1sttimemum1602 · 10/11/2023 22:37

Apologies, without children for 10 years.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 11/11/2023 01:15

@Allergictoironing Glad you’re out of that place! Mine is just like that, and it really gets to you after a while.

I sometimes sit and think, how is it allowed in 2023 to treat two employees so differently when they’re doing the same job and being paid the same?

PTBEAR · 11/11/2023 09:36

I am a man who is married to a male teacher. Therefore my holiday times are limited to school holiday times. I understand. YANIA. You do you.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/11/2023 09:51

@treebranch123I think the issue that I would have is, it's the one day a year that it is tricky to find childcare. Unless you use your family which may be not possible for some people. In that sense, it can be tricky for parents”

And thats your colleagues’ issue because?
No parent hating here, parent myself. Just hate entitlement. Having kids doesn’t make us special.

Ktime · 11/11/2023 11:09

I think single parents with genuinely no childcare provision on that day should be given consideration.

I do wonder how many people abuse goodwill by saying their husband is working Xmas day so they will need the day off. Because the man’s manly job must be protected at all costs and he can’t be expected to do childcare.

nanamoo · 11/11/2023 11:16

YANBU

You are as entitled to the time off as anybody else is, it's just your turn to have Christmas off. Just because they have kids and you don't, doesn't mean they deserve it more than you. You don't need to explain your reasons for not swapping, no is a full answer and all they need to be told.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 11/11/2023 11:29

Ktime · 11/11/2023 11:09

I think single parents with genuinely no childcare provision on that day should be given consideration.

I do wonder how many people abuse goodwill by saying their husband is working Xmas day so they will need the day off. Because the man’s manly job must be protected at all costs and he can’t be expected to do childcare.

Your second paragraph explains why giving consideration doesn’t work. Too many people would abuse it. Sure, you could know that Anna is definitely a single parent but you’ve no way of proving that Brenda’s husband is working so she’s the only one around.

I also have to say that if “consideration” means the same person covering every year, then where’s the “consideration” for that person? (I’ve been that person for years, and it’s utterly thankless.)

Parker231 · 11/11/2023 11:45

Ktime · 11/11/2023 11:09

I think single parents with genuinely no childcare provision on that day should be given consideration.

I do wonder how many people abuse goodwill by saying their husband is working Xmas day so they will need the day off. Because the man’s manly job must be protected at all costs and he can’t be expected to do childcare.

I doubt there are many single parents who have no family or friends to look after the children?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 11/11/2023 11:52

Parker231 · 11/11/2023 11:45

I doubt there are many single parents who have no family or friends to look after the children?

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I think it’s a growing problem with families behind spread further apart.

And even many good friends would likely be reluctant to babysit on Christmas Day when they have their own plans.

doctorfosterwenttohospital · 11/11/2023 12:02

TheJubileePortrait · 08/11/2023 11:48

While you do have a right to the day off I do think it’s selfish and parents with young children should be given priority.

I think you're selfish to expect someone to give up their Christmas Day because you decided to have children!

Ponderosamum · 11/11/2023 13:46

I'd just say 'sorry, I worked last year and I have plans for this year'. You dont owe them anything. I have kids but would never ask this of anyone.

LaurieStrode · 11/11/2023 14:03

Ktime · 11/11/2023 11:09

I think single parents with genuinely no childcare provision on that day should be given consideration.

I do wonder how many people abuse goodwill by saying their husband is working Xmas day so they will need the day off. Because the man’s manly job must be protected at all costs and he can’t be expected to do childcare.

I don't. If they can't be bothered to line up 8-10 hours of care, when they've had the other 364 days of the year to do so, they aren't really trying.

That entitled, self laziness shouldn't be rewarded. There's always someone willing to do the care for the right price.

SecondUsername4me · 11/11/2023 14:08

LaurieStrode · 11/11/2023 14:03

I don't. If they can't be bothered to line up 8-10 hours of care, when they've had the other 364 days of the year to do so, they aren't really trying.

That entitled, self laziness shouldn't be rewarded. There's always someone willing to do the care for the right price.

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Where do you suppose they procure this childcare from? How many childminders or babysitters are available for work on Christmas day?