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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

898 replies

Mysticcatmum · 08/11/2023 11:15

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 09/11/2023 19:20

EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon · 09/11/2023 17:41

Have a halo.

Show quote history

Hang on a minute!

<grabs halo>

<breathes on it>

<polishes it up with sleeve>

<hands it back to balloon>

Here - give it her now. It's come up a treat.

Isometimeswonder · 09/11/2023 19:21

To the person who thinks a Christmas with a 4 year old trumps a Christmas with any adult....
Please think of the single childless person who just wants to see their parent/sibling etc.

AnaJane1 · 09/11/2023 19:26

Their choice to have children;
Your choice to say ‘No, my turn for Christmas at home’.

It pisses me off that some people believe just the fact of having children entitles you to privileges and to coerce others.

Lou670 · 09/11/2023 19:35

No you are not being unreasonable. You are deserving of Christmas Day off as much as anyone else (with or without kids). My children are adults now but one of mine is a nurse and she does have Christmas Day off this year, but has worked the last three. We just shuffle things around her shifts if she was working. I think it's really unfair for people to expect colleagues with no children to work for that reason. Everyone should take turns and for it to be fair for everyone. Personal circumstances should not come in to it. If they were that against working unsociable days/hours then why have they chosen that job?

likethislikethat · 09/11/2023 19:37

Sell your day off.

£500 or £1000 in the bank is well worth missing the day.

lovescats3 · 09/11/2023 19:38

Say no to them you are entitled to your day off

Eybyegum · 09/11/2023 19:44

I’m 54. My DC are 15 - 20. So most pp are saying I should have worked last Christmas if it was part of my job right? I now know last Christmas was my last one with DH, my DCs DF. It was also the last one with 2 dear friends. All were 50-55 and none were ill, so wouldn’t have passed the “old or terminally ill “ test you’re all adding. Please stop assuming everyone has their loved ones to old age, or have time to prepare and have those “last” events.

Similarly my own DF worked every single Christmas Day when I was a child. We were lucky he didn’t start until 2pm so we had the mornings but it was just part of Christmas to us and we appreciated he was needed to care for others. He died suddenly aged 55yr. So would have been in your “safe” zone pp keep talking about.

Everybody is equal. Nobody’s needs trump anybody else’s needs. Nobody knows when it is anybody’s last Christmas themselves or their loved ones.

Happychappy3 · 09/11/2023 19:49

Do not give in and keep your christmas day off :)

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/11/2023 19:49

@Eybyegum - I am so sorry for all your losses. 💐

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 09/11/2023 19:53

For all those people advising people to 'just say no' to working on Christmas, that's not how these jobs work.

I imagine these same posters would be outraged if they needed the police or an ambulance on Christmas day ... and the call centre to get one dispatched was closed because they, and the police and ambulance drivers all 'just said no' to working on Christmas.

They and the NHS staff, amongst numerous other roles (hotels workers, restaurants, airline workers, airport workers, etc) all sign on to doing their share of holiday cover. It's part of the job.

Eybyegum · 09/11/2023 19:56

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/11/2023 19:49

@Eybyegum - I am so sorry for all your losses. 💐

Thank you

RollaCola84 · 09/11/2023 19:57

Totally not unreasonable and please, please don't make up an excuse "elderly parents", "need to travel" etc. just 'no thanks not looking to swap shifts this year'.

Also to those saying its OK to ask it depends on how it's done, approaching someone saying can we swap so I can have Christmas Day off because I have kids is 100% out of order and I'd complain to management. Putting something in a Teams group chat or similar saying "Anyone up for swapping X shift for Christmas Day please let me know" is OK in my opinion.

SiobhanSharpe · 09/11/2023 20:00

At my last employer we had to work 24/7/365 (media) but actual Christmas day working was popular because you got three days pay for the day, plus a day off in lieu.
So anyone rostered on could usually find someone happy to take their shift -- usually single people or older ones whose kids were older too and weren't that bothered about Christmas.
However, that was in the heady days of the 80s, it was a post-entry closed shop and that is no longer the case so I strongly suspect they're not so generous now.

Birchvalley · 09/11/2023 20:02

My mate used to get colleagues asking her to work on Christmas Day because they had kids - she used to reply ‘I am the kid!’

shivawn · 09/11/2023 20:03

I'm a nurse so working Christmas is part of the job, everyone works it every 2nd year and New Year's on the alternate years. It's accepted as a fair system and I haven't heard of anyone trying to get out of it.

CatMum27 · 09/11/2023 20:07

“Christmas is for kids”. Funny, always thought that Christmas was a religious occasion for Christians. Who can be any age.

Stay strong and say no OP. I’ve worked my fair share of Christmas shifts for people with kids/other family. Gave it up when they started demanding and expecting.

Enjoy your time off.

Mikimoto · 09/11/2023 20:11

Please take in a bottle, crack it open at the end of your 24 Dec shift and start chugging it on your way out while waving to the others.

theduchessofspork · 09/11/2023 20:13

No excuses needed.

No I can’t do that.

theduchessofspork · 09/11/2023 20:14

likethislikethat · 09/11/2023 19:37

Sell your day off.

£500 or £1000 in the bank is well worth missing the day.

To you it might be. But not to everyone.

TiredCatLady · 09/11/2023 20:15

I’ve been you but in a different industry - constantly copping for the Xmas and Easter holiday cover because “you don’t have children”. It was paid at a regular day, rather than overtime rate, so I wasn’t really any better off either. It took a while to stand up to it - straw that broke the proverbial was being refused time off because ONE DAY would overlap a half term and no one would actually cover ME for it.

Don’t entertain it.

theduchessofspork · 09/11/2023 20:16

lightisnotwhite · 09/11/2023 18:04

Don’t be ridiculous. Who is going to miss out on a career because of the gamble you’ll be working on one day.
Its only really a big deal when kids are between the ages of say 4 and 10. No one is saying you need every Christmas off until they’re 16.

I think people are utter ares if they think the expectations of a day off with other adults, trumps that of a 7 year old at Christmas.

Show quote history

Don’t be ridiculous, if you have little kids and have to work you just do Christmas Day on Boxing Day or Christmas Eve. They are quite happy having a special Christmas for them.

Jeannie88 · 09/11/2023 20:17

Yanbu! A fair rota, every employee has their turn, which they know about and to be expected. When I didn't have DC my desire to spend Christmas day with my family was the same as wanting to still spend with family. X

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/11/2023 20:17

MargotBamborough · 09/11/2023 18:58

They don't need every Christmas off when their child is 4-10 either.

If the parents of children between 4 and 10 get every Christmas off and they have two children two years apart, that's 8 years in a row where they, according to you, shouldn't have to work Christmas. That's 20% of their working life.

What happens once their younger child is 10? Are they going to work for the next 8 Christmases in a row so that their childless colleague who has covered for them every year can finally have their share of family Christmases? Or are they going to keep saying they need Christmas off because 14 year olds are children too and everyone should stop being so selfish?

What if Sandra who is 50 and childless has worked the last 5 Christmases in a row so her colleague Amy can be with her young children and then Amy leaves and is replaced by Beth, who has young children? Is Beth going to miss out on five Christmases in a row because Sandra is owed five Christmases because she covered for Amy who doesn't even work there anymore?

No. Sandra is going to come under pressure to work Christmas yet again so Beth can be with her children. And so it continues.

If childfree colleagues are expected to cover for colleagues with children at Christmas they will never, ever get to spend Christmas with their own families because there will always be someone who has children and is judged to be in greater need.

That's why Christmas top trumps just doesn't work and everyone needs to take their turn regardless of their family circumstances.

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This is it in a nutshell. It’s how I’ve ended up working 7 Xmases in a row.

Dunnoburt · 09/11/2023 20:18

Ignore the guilt trip.....enjoy Christmas Day! Xx

PeachyPeachTrees · 09/11/2023 20:19

Enjoy Christmas day off with your family. It's your turn and don't feel bad about it.

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