Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

Before I had my Dc's I worked Christmas Day most years (nursing) and preferred NYE so I could go out and celebrate. I worked with a lovely team so if we could, we would swap. I use to see my family in the evening on Christmas Day but this was my preference.

You should say No to your colleagues and enjoy Christmas Day with your family.

Don’t be ridiculous. Who is going to miss out on a career because of the gamble you’ll be working on one day.
Its only really a big deal when kids are between the ages of say 4 and 10. No one is saying you need every Christmas off until they’re 16.

I think people are utter ares if they think the expectations of a day off with other adults, trumps that of a 7 year old at Christmas.

You have every right to take the holiday off. just because you don't have children doesn't mean that you don't deserve a day off for a holiday at least once. they are just using that excuse so that you'll feel sorry for them and give them your holiday. Stick to your decision and take the holiday off with no guilt. Furthermore, you don't have to explain why you need the holiday off. Just say. No, I can't let you have my holiday, I hope you find someone willing to swap schedules.

@lightisnotwhite - what about the elderly person who has to spend Christmas alone because their childless son or daughter can’t have Christmas off because the parents of young children always take priority? Or the person whose children are grown up, but has a terminally ill relative and wants to spend their last Christmas with them? Or what about the person who has no children and has worked every Christmas for several years, and would just like to have one Christmas Day with their family?

I used to get this at my old work place all the time. Those with kids were given priority. Luckily my latest manager does not agree. She says, and I agree - that we all have family to spend time with.

YANBU.
Children don’t give you the right to priority for Christmas. People who think that is acceptable are super selfish.

Enjoy your day with your family!

Just ignore the messages or simply say, “sorry, I’m enjoying a rare Christmas away from work!”

As if a 4 year old would really know if you moved Christmas a day earlier or later?! 😂 what on earth do you think happens when children don’t live with both parents? they manage to work out they have 2 Christmases!!

I think parents who think they are “owed” something more by their colleagues are the arses. I say this as someone with children. I have worked Christmas Day. They appear to be flexible, adjustable and happy children despite this

How is it a gamble? Surely you'll know you have to work Christmas before you take a job.

No one persons Christmas trumps another's.

It’s amazing how many people who don’t have to give up Xmas day to work, say that of course they would in their hypothetical job if needed, no question!!

No your entitled to your Christmas off. I've worked once on Christmas day (minimum wage at a petrol station 7-3 and I will never work Xmas day again.) When people apply for a new job they should consider these things before accepting it.

I think people are utter ares if they think the expectations of a day off with other adults, trumps that of a 7 year old at Christmas

Did you mean arses? because the typo diluted the venom somewhat 😁In any case, who cares what you think? why should I give up my day off for some random 7 year old?

I think people are utter ares if they think the expectations of a day off with other adults, trumps that of a 7 year old at Christmas

The 7 year olds Christmas isn't being cancelled just because their parent is working. My brother worked shifts when his children were young. If he was night shift & not home when they got up they were actually happy to wait for him getting home - and that was from a very young age. Their Christmasses were just as memorable even if their Dad had to leave at some point.

Lots of children don't see one of their parents at all on Christmas Day, shift workers will always see them at some point

And after working shifts & being child free all my adult life I will be that utter arse & take Christmas Day off if I possibly can. And I'll enjoy it with a clear concience

LOL at hypothetical job

Enjoy your Christmas and relax. Of course your colleagues are being unfair and unreasonable.

Are you unable to use your imagination to think of how you could still make a child’s Xmas special despite having to work some of Xmas day? I am sorry to hear that.

Its only really a big deal when kids are between the ages of say 4 and 10. No one is saying you need every Christmas off until they’re 16

Big deal to parents. Not to the rest of us.

For someone without DC and expected to work Christmas that's six years working a public holiday and not seeing their family (and probably without thanks or extra pay). And parents call childfree people selfish.

I am annoyed on your behalf OP. It's silly that people enter in 24/7/365 jobs then pull this crap. Enjoy Xmas day off, regardless of the year you might have had.

Put a massive sign around your neck saying "Don't ask me about Xmas Day Swap"

They don't need every Christmas off when their child is 4-10 either.

If the parents of children between 4 and 10 get every Christmas off and they have two children two years apart, that's 8 years in a row where they, according to you, shouldn't have to work Christmas. That's 20% of their working life.

What happens once their younger child is 10? Are they going to work for the next 8 Christmases in a row so that their childless colleague who has covered for them every year can finally have their share of family Christmases? Or are they going to keep saying they need Christmas off because 14 year olds are children too and everyone should stop being so selfish?

What if Sandra who is 50 and childless has worked the last 5 Christmases in a row so her colleague Amy can be with her young children and then Amy leaves and is replaced by Beth, who has young children? Is Beth going to miss out on five Christmases in a row because Sandra is owed five Christmases because she covered for Amy who doesn't even work there anymore?

No. Sandra is going to come under pressure to work Christmas yet again so Beth can be with her children. And so it continues.

If childfree colleagues are expected to cover for colleagues with children at Christmas they will never, ever get to spend Christmas with their own families because there will always be someone who has children and is judged to be in greater need.

That's why Christmas top trumps just doesn't work and everyone needs to take their turn regardless of their family circumstances.

Christmas is for everyone, not just for people with kids. Have Christmas day off and enjoy it x

As you've worked previous Christmas days it's your turn to take that day off, so tough.
Don't be guilt tripped into not taking it.😊

YANBU

I work with animals so we also work christmas. But we choose. My DH will be working it (we're colleauges) so I'm at home with our child. Luckily it's usually 6am-12pm

YANBU, enjoy your christmas day with whoever you choose to be with! Where I live those who work on a certain holiday are automatically !!! excused from working that same holiday the year after!

Bullsh!t, Christmas is for everyone, families, not just for kids. Hold your ground x

I feel quite sad for the usual ‘Won’t someone think of the children, who are the only ones that matter on Christmas Day’ chorus.

Relationships outside ‘parent of a young child’ are important too and Christmas is a good time to nurture them and continue rituals that hold us when children grow up, when people we love pass or drift away, or when relationships end or life doesn’t bring the children or partners expected. The notion that only people with children are the only ‘real’ family that matter, especially at Christmas, is a toxic one that needs to be knocked on the head.

@Mysticcatmum I would take great pleasure in detailing my Christmas Day plans to the CFs trying to pressure you. Whether you spend it in bed, in church or doing a Delia for your extended family, it’s your day to do as you please.

I have 3 primary age DCs and I wholeheartedly support you OP. You deserve Christmas off as much as the next person.
I can’t blame them for asking, I’d probably ask too because you just never know. Enjoy your Christmas 🎄