Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

Indeed!

And a further implication that you are a selfish, uncaring cowbag if you don't swap.

Well, it would seem that you are due your turn at Christmas off but if there are more senior people and you are more junior, you might have a few years in the rota to go.

On the topic of childcare, I'm afraid no sympathy here. Parents have 364 other days of the year to work out Plan A, Plan B and Plan C in case of emergencies.

But what if there are more than 5 people in the rota? So it may take 7, 8 or 10 years until it's one's turn to have Christmas off. You can't just say "fuck that" and phone in with a fake illness, if that's what you agreed to in the first place.

If your colleagues can refuse, why can't you?

Tell them you've worked the last five Christmases in a row and this year you don't have childcare and just say you're not doing it and someone else will have to, for once.

I’m going to get shot down for saying this. If it were me (yes I am a parent), If I had no children and no huge reason (eg sick parents or big planned special family get together), I would work so that children can spend Christmas Day and wake up with their parents and have dinner together etc. Surely shifts aren’t 24h so you would have either an early, middle or late so could still celebrate Christmas and see other people.
However, I always put myself out to help other people so if I didn’t have children and a special need, I’d let the children spend it with their families an work.

YANBU

If people don't want to work on Christmas Day (or any other bank holiday), don't go into a profession that requires you to work these days!

It's all very well to say you would do this if you didn't have children.

You do have children.

Would you give up your Christmas with your children so that somebody else could have their Christmas with their children, or with their elderly parent?

I work in the NHS too OP, I haven't had xmas off for 10 years because DS left home years ago and I've tended to let people with kids at home have it.
I asked for this xmas off as I'd like to visit family abroad and have been given absolute shit from people with kids who think they should be the ones to have this xmas off.
Well tough, I've been given xmas off as I've worked it for so many years and I'm having it. Tough luck everyone else.

No, not if I have children of my own.
Before I had children, when I was in my 20’s I worked Xmas days in shifts and didn’t mind as got extra money, could still celebrate and those with children could wake up and have a special day with them.

Enjoy your Christmas Day off! People with kids seem to think the entire world should stop for them recently. Just say unfortunately you have plans. You don't need to justify anything to anyone at all.

My dad was a paramedic and often worked Xmas day, we actually thought it was extra lovely when he got home in the afternoon/evening. Years later when he didn't work Xmas shifts anymore he'd just sit at home and moan all Xmas and argue with everyone 😅

Surely shifts aren’t 24h so you would have either an early, middle or late so could still celebrate Christmas and see other people that assumes you live near family and can drive. Public transport doesn't run, and it's no good working 9-5 and then having a three hour drive to get to someone's house.

So you wouldn't actually always put yourself out to help others who were in more need.

You worked over Christmas in your 20s, when it suited you to earn more money.

How long do you think your moral obligation to work Christmas so others didn't have to would have lasted if you hadn't had children when you did?

Do you think that as a not so cash strapped 50 something you would still have been working Christmas every year at the expense of seeing your parents and extended family, or taking a nice winter holiday to the Caribbean, just so people with children didn't have to?

Exactly.

People who live with their children and have to work part of Christmas Day will at least get to spend some of Christmas Day with their loved ones.

That 25 year old you work with who lives in a flat share and doesn't live near their family or have a car might end up spending the whole time alone if they can't get any time off.

It’s ok to have a difference of opinion. I wouldn’t put myself out that would directly affect my children. They would be upset if they didn’t wake up and see me on Christmas day. I couldn’t and wouldn’t work in a profession now with children as I find this day special.
However, as I mentioned above when I didn’t have children and even if I didn’t have children now (yes I’m a parent - but didn’t mean I’d lie about it) I would still work a Christmas day so families could be together, but that’s me. I would do it.

Right.

So you are literally saying your children and their Christmas are more important than the Christmases of your single/childfree colleagues.

Which is the attitude being complained about on this thread.

It is the height of hypocrisy to try to guilt trip the OP and other childfree posters into taking Christmas shifts by saying that you would always go out of your way to help others when the truth is that you would do nothing of the kind.

Well said, @Mariposista

With certain types of parents, it's always "Heads I win, tails you lose."

@Mummytotwonow However, as I mentioned above when I didn’t have children and even if I didn’t have children now (yes I’m a parent - but didn’t mean I’d lie about it) I would still work a Christmas day so families could be together, but that’s me. I would do it.

You would work every Christmas Day for potentially a 50 year career without complaint? You would never want to spend Christmas with your partner, or your parents, or siblings and niblings? I call absolute bullshit. It's one thing to do it in your early 20s, when it's extra cash to go out with your friends. It's a different thing in your 30s, 40s, 50s etc. It's incredibly selfish to expect colleagues to work every Christmas just so your children aren't upset (this can be avoided by managing expectations btw)

@Mummytotwonow: "I would work Christmas if I had no kids because I'm a person who always puts herself out to help others".

@MargotBamborough: "Would you work Christmas to help another parent have the time with their kids?"

@Mummytotwonow: "No, I have kids."

Absolutely sums the entire situation up. Bravo.

What are the chances that @Mummytotwonow's children aren't even old enough to know what day of the week it is, let alone when 25th December is?

Why?
My mum is 90-odd.i want to spend Christmas with her.

It would be selfish to take that away from me

Not shot down but completely disbelieved. Put your money where your mouth is then and work so that parents with younger children can have the day off. How about that?

Posts like yours would make me determined never, ever to kowtow to an entitled parent and I think the tide is turning with more women standing up for themselves and their own wants and needs for a change.

I worked in a very multicultural place once and we made sure as far as possible that religious people got their high holidays off

Well, it's an excellent lesson in making children wait then isn't it? Mummy has to work a shift this Christmas Day because you're not the most important things in the world to anyone except mummy, but it's only a little shift and we can celebrate later! Excellent, the children learn patience and other, equally as important people get to spend Christmas how they choose to! Winner Winner, Christmas Dinner!

Have a halo.

Well, it's an excellent lesson in making children wait then isn't it?

Exactly this.

And do you know what, my daughter used to like having Christmas a little bit later (it made the excitement last longer!) and she would proudly tell anyone who'd listen that we were celebrating later so that I could "help poorly people".

Christmas doesn't have to happen on December 25th. It's no less magical if you wait to have a family Christmas the following day, or two days later. In fact, there's something bloody lovely about the rest of the world being stuck in that boring twixmas period and you just shut the curtains to all of that and go "right - it's our Christmas Eve, let's get started".

All of that aside, what it comes down to at the end of the day is that if you take a job that involves working on holidays and weekends and evenings, be prepared to work those holidays and weekends and evenings. No family top trumps, no pressuring for shift swaps - just get on with it, it's what was signed up for.