Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

“Yeah but yeah but yeah but…..MY children will be paying YOUR pension and wiping YOUR arse when you can’t do it any more! So you OWE me!”

Surprised that hasn't been trotted out, but as I've said before -

"Remind me whose taxes since the mid 70s have been paying for the benefits, doctors, nurses, dentists, schools, hospitals, libraries and all the rest of it that were needed when you and your children were growing up? oh yeah. That would be me. No need to say thank you. Oh. You didn't." 😁

I have 3 young children but I would never ask or expect someone without children to cover my shift, purely because they have no children! These people are beyond rude! They need to speak to the manager if they are that upset, not guilt trip you!

'If you don't ask you don't get' is very often a sentiment used by CFs to excuse their own CF-ery, in my experience.

Of course some things shouldn't be asked of others, asking is bound to make the 'askee' feel unfairly burdened to comply.

Many years ago, I had similar at my work around Mothers Day before I’d family. A colleague was off & something needed completed with a quick turnaround, cue my boss explaining to me that they couldn’t approach anyone else to do the work as they were all Mums who would have made arrangements for Mothers Day therefore as the only non-parent on our team, I would need to do it. I was young & inexperienced, I also felt I couldn’t stand up for myself so I did the work that took all wknd - I didn’t receive overtime as my I was salaried with no overtime allowance. I didn’t get to see my Mum on Mothers Day therefore missed the family day that had been arranged where all the family (except me) was present. When my boss’s line manager heard what had happened, they spoke to my boss but nothing was really done. It was just accepted that that’s what happens. I moved departments not long after that.

Sorry to here your colleagues are pestering you about your Christmas off OP.
Having children doesn't mean you have more rights for holidays than the rest.

Since they work in a job with shifts on Christmas, they should know that they won't be able to spend it with their family or at least not every time or all day..
My husband works on Christmas and New Year's Eve as well, on a rota. That means every year he'll work on either Christmas or New Year's eve. Once every 3 years he has both days off. If your colleagues are trying to make you feel guilty because of their children, please ignore them.

I had some lovely Christmasses when me and DD went to my parents and DH joined us when he could or just the two of us if my parents were ill for example. It's just what you make of it.

Don't feel guilty OP, enjoy your Christmas!

This is bang on the money. My (not by choice) childless status actually incurred real wrath during a conversation at a wedding once. I was sitting next to a guest who was the mother of 3 children, and pregnant with her 4th - naturally, her opening conversation centered around family and children and she asked how many children I had. When I said "none", she looked aghast at me and said she found it selfish that women chose to not have children, not least because the economy would be non-existent if everyone took the same stance. She then asked me if I thought it was fair that 'her kids' should be funding my pension and care in later life, when I haven't contributed by producing children to plough into the economy. Oh, and depriving our parents the opportunity to be grandparents was also thoughtless of me.

I dutifully ate my meal, toasted the speeches and swiftly moved on to another table where the conversation was thankfully much less controversial!

As regards working over Christmas, as mentioned in my pp, I am usually quite happy to do so. I genuinely find it difficult to become properly invested in the joy of the season, simply because it really is a magical time for children and it's the one time of the year when not having children of my own smacks hardest. For that reason alone, I am perfectly happy to immerse myself in work for the day and leave the holidays for those with children. That said, I get mightily mad when it's just assumed I'll work those bank holidays. Being childless doesn't mean you're family or friendless!

Op only swap if it suits you to do so.

You may have a desire to have Hogmanay off or some other day / event that you want to be part off.

YANBU!

Even if you don’t have children you still have a family! Do not let them guilt trip you into giving them the day off. I worked in a place when I was a lot younger that always put the mothers first when it came to holidays like this and for years I had to put up with it. It was only when an older lady spoke up and said we also have families that we would love to spend time with is when things changed in the work place. The mothers in the place were furious at this as they think they deserve the time with family above everyone else, it was a very toxic environment to be honest! Thankfully I’m in a job now where none of this becomes an issue!

I'm a lone parent, worked the last 5 Christmas's (leaving the dc with my Mum) and I'm still having to work this year despite having no childcare this year because the other nurses (with older dc) are refusing to do it. I'm gonna have to take the dc to work with me. Sometimes I think its kind for someone to take a hit for parents but if you've worked a lot and they're not struggling with someone to care for their dc, absolutely have it off.

Yes, that does sound hard, I'm sorry. The thing is, that 'taking the hit' is always in the parent's favour and the heavy weight of expectation on the other person. It's not on.

If your set up at work is unfair then this is something that you could and should discuss with your manager.

I’d raise that with your manager. Your colleagues should be doing their fair share of Christmas working.

YANBU

If you have kids and don’t want to work Christmas, you need to be looking for jobs that you aren’t contracted to work Christmas.

I hope you and your family have a lovely one OP, sounds like you need it!

You’re as entitled to Xmas day off as anyone. Just say no. Anyway you’d only be able to help one person so even if you’re a massive people pleaser, it wouldn’t help with the “influx” who’d still all be making their case to be that lucky one.

So just say no.

This is the exception to my above post, it’s only right people do their fair share and your employer needs to sort that out.

We don't have to work the actual day - but we are asked when we arrange leave that there is adequate cover during the festive period across the team at large.

Generally people either want to work it because it's a bit of a quiet time so they can catch up on admin/training etc and it suits - or they want it off for whatever reason they do and it balances out.

I worked throughout it last year - this year I've booked the in-between bit off but I did comment that I was happy to rearrange if required - but that was my choice and not anyone else's to make.

I would let everyone who asks know that this is the first time in X no of years that you have had Christmas Day off and you have plans to spend some quality time with your partner/aging parents.

I have 3 young children and one of the reasons I won't go back to shift work in the NHS is because I don't want to work Christmas and nights so I can be with my children and husband at those times. People who work in these kinds of places understand that this service needs to run at Christmas and therefore you will have your share of working Christmases if they don't like that they should be looking at changing to a different role/workplace in the future. You are definitely not being unreasonable, you have family still and even if you didn't, even if you were going to be spending the time on your own in front of Christmas TV or going out for a walk that doesn't mean that your time off in that way is less deserved than theirs. Enjoy your Christmas off, you've done your share it's their turn.

Its not. Which is why I already said that earlier, hence why I said you didn't appear to have read my post properly.

Just say no. It's what I do. It's only the entitled wankers who pull this stunt anyway.

I've got Christmas and NY off this year. Not quite sure what to do with myself!!

I experienced similar attitudes when I was in my 20s & single and worked in a school overseas with many ex-pat teachers. I found whenever something needed to be done at weekends I would nearly always be asked because I didn't have a family - I really had to push back that despite not being married with children, I was nevertheless entitled to a private life and free time

I used to work every other Christmas Day. As my dc got older I had colleagues who suggested that my dc wouldn’t be interested in Christmas so could they swap.
I stuck to my one on one off.

Have a lovely Christmas @Mysticcatmum

Yanbu
when you take a job like that on, you are made aware that you will have to work some public holidays.
I say this as a mother who has to work public holidays.

This is one time where I absolutely would have a nasty case of “diarrhoea” right on Xmas eve. Then one of the others would have no choice. 5 years, not spending it with your kids, F that.

I once had a woman I worked with ask to swap with me, so she could have Christmas off to spend with her child.

Only problem was her only child the one she was talking about was 40+ (childfree so no grandkids) and about 12 years older than me.

She got very huffy when I didnt swap!

absolutely not