Does anyone else hate xmas?

[grinchapparently]

I don't like Christmas, in fact I totally dread it.
I used to love it as a child, but now all grown up it makes me feel more alone.
It highlights that I have no family around or who care, it throws in my face that I should be happy when I'm not, and I constantly get bombarded on social media pictures of happy families.
(I do know I shouldn't look)
But seriously why is it thrown down our necks?! Heat xmas radio has literally been an option since pissing September. ( i flick through it).
Every time someone mentions xmas or I hear a xmas song I get a lump in my throat. I literally dread this time of year.
Is it just me?

What I dislike about it is that people like you are made to feel lonely OP. I’m lucky to have loved ones to spend it with but Christmas is a hard time of year for so many people. You’re completely right, it is completely thrown down our necks and I think it would be easier for people to avoid it if adverts etc didn’t do this. It should be a choice to celebrate Christmas.

I was a big Christmas lover until I became involved with a man with children and later a step parent. It's ironic as Christmas is supposed to be about children but they ruined it for me for all sorts of reasons. Although I very rarely see them now, Christmas is where it always come back. The forced family joviality and seeing people you avoid all year. I always look forward to January and the cleaning up after the decs go down.

I don't hate Christmas but with all the war in the world - it feels a bit..... <can't think of a word for it> to be celebrating, feasting, buying loads of tat....

We are just so unbelievably lucky to be in a safer country.

I just feel uncomfortable about it all this year. DH and I both feel meh about the whole thing.

@Goldenboysmum and @stitchinguru
I'm so terribly sorry.💐💐

One hundred percent yes. The loneliness, forced consumerism and expectations. The pressure. I don't even fully understand what Christmas means to most of society in 2023 and why we are still entertaining it.

I would far prefer a "family" bank holiday in the summer with no expectations other than a walk outdoors/ maybe a picnic. Zero consumerism

Also the fact that we are expected to spend money on gifts for dh’s siblings who have made the executive decision to no longer buy me (not dh) anything for birthdays or Xmas..😂

I’m so sorry.

@Goldenboysmum @stitchinguru I’m so sorry. 💐❤️

I’m so, so sorry to those who’ve lost loved ones at Christmas 💐

I hate it too. As a child I had to be eternally grateful and thankful for everything I was given, despite being frightened of saying or doing something wrong so that I could be told at every opportunity that ‘you ruined Christmas’ for the next year.
When we were farming DH hated Christmas because he was working so ruined it by moaning all the time although I did my very best to make it good for the children.
Nowadays I hate the commercialisation, I no longer believe in God and quite honestly can’t be bothered with it.
I don’t get any presents at all, not even from my DCs or DH, yet it’s expected that I buy for everyone else. I would love to just get away but I’ll health prevents that.
I’m really grouchy!

Christmas is draining. I will do all the planning/buying/prepping for my DH and DC. We will host. We will struggle to afford it all. DH will cook on the day, I will spend 2 hours cleaning up the kitchen plus another full tidy up again when everyone has left in the eve and Dh & dc are in bed Asleep. I can't bear to come down to all on boxing day. Christmas could very well push me over the edge this year from the stress of it all.

Yep I've always disliked it but now hate it

All the fake falseness of it , buy all this crap to make sure your Christmas is perfect

There's a house round the corner from me that put outside decorations up last weekend for god's sake

I do like Christmas but I don't buy much for it and I try to volunteer every December. For me Christmas is about gratitude for what you do have and helping someone else if you can.

Yes I have never liked it which is ironic seeing as I was born Christmas Day and named after a flipping reindeer. I'm only filling stockings this year and buying one toy for the dgc as I have paid for a holiday for all my adult children instead so feel happier about that. Tree will go up as close to Christmas that I can get away with and come down before New Year. They all come here Christmas Day and Boxing Day because I have the biggest house and can cook. I find it tedious if I'm honest but put on a smile knowing that I always ban visitors from 27th until New Years Day as recompense.

It's not just you 💐

I used to love Christmas...I grew up with my mum loving it and making a big fuss so I guess it rubbed off and I was the same. I even got married a week before Xmas as I loved it so much. Then I found out my husband was having an affair a few days after Christmas 6 years ago (his behaviour was horrible on the lead up).

So the last 6 years I have hated it as there have been too many difficult memories associated with it. I have put on a brave face for my dc though and got through it ok.

This year is the first year in this time I have begun to look forward to it again. My partner has moved in with us and although he isn't a fan of Xmas, it's nice to have another adult to share the time with. We have arranged to go out for Xmas dinner with my family so I haven't got to think about cooking/hosting/clearing up and me and my partner have booked a couple of day away over NY, just the two of us in the middle of nowhere. All these things have helped changed my mindset about it and I am not going to let one person ruin what has always been a special time of year for me and my family again.

I do understand that for a lot of people, Xmas can be a really tough time and I can really empathise and hope that these people can get through it as best they can.

I don't hate it but can't stand the early start, hyper-consumerism and pressure on people to have the perfect Xmas, whether they can afford it or not. Weeks ago John Lewis had Xmas music blaring out!

I used to love it. Plus all our close family birthdays including mine and two on Boxing Day so the whole month is busy and I used to find it sparky and joyful, if exhausting.
That all changed when dd2 Unfortunately got badly attacked on the 23rd December two years ago. The run up to that date last year was awful and Christmas was quiet-and I don't see it being much different this year. Dh also hates Christmas and always has-it actually make him miserable due to things that happened in his childhood-though he does put on a good front to the kids and helps out . It just feels like it all on me to keep everyone on a level footing and this year I don't feel like I've got the energy at all. Usually I'd have started shopping and planning and I'm just putting it off at the minute as it just seems like a huge chore rather than the enjoyable thing it used to be.

Since my parents died it hasn't been the same and means little to me now. Their house was the "centre of operations" where we all gathered and had such a fun day. No fuss, everyone mucked in and there were some (funny) food disasters too. Dad was the comedian, Mum was the organiser (handed out jobs) and there was often noisy chaos full of excited kids, tipsy Aunt Kay, and Granny Emily with early dementia.

Now that they are gone, each family has their own traditions. We do all gather in my sister's house at around 11am for drinks and nibbles, coffee whatever. It is lovely to be with everyone. Then we all peel off and do our own thing.

For the first time ever, this year myself and DP are going away for Christmas. So I will host the brunch gathering before we leave.

I suppose I am indifferent to it now. I ignore all the hype and tat and commercialism and just enjoy seeing family all together in the one place.

I hate that everyone seems to be put under pressure to have the 'perfect' Christmas, make Christmas 'magical', get into the Christmas spirit etc and be constantly smiling in the Christmas period. For parents in particular this seems to start earlier and earlier and involve more and more work and expense (eg. Xmas eve boxes, expensive advent calendars, elf on the shelf, xmas jumper day etc etc). I also hate that people feel obliged to spend money that can't afford on gifts.

Even as someone who is lucky enough to have my DH and DC around me I don't feel I can escape the feeling at this time of year that I am somehow lacking. According to TV, magazines, shops, social media etc for the whole of December we should all have hundreds of parties to go to, have a perfectly decorated home, have a kitchen fully stocked with party food for all those times that friends and family drop in, look glamorous, buy hundreds of gifts for all our friends and family (each one perfect for that person), throw ourselves in to local/school events, have special family traditions, cook an incredible Xmas dinner (all from scratch) with all the traditional side dishes but with a modern twist, have a fully stocked wine cellar and spirits cabinet (but never get drunk), and carry on the fun to end with a huge New Year party. All whilst smiling and looking lovely of course.

I took the decision years ago to have a simpler Xmas. It is far less stressful and more enjoyable but I do still get pangs of guilt that I'm not doing Xmas right- especially on Xmas day when I am not up at 5am to start cooking as my mum used to do. It must be bloody awful for anyone who is a bit lonely anyway or is struggling for money and/or time without Xmas.

I’ve grown to hate Xmas a bit since I’ve had kids, which seems the wrong way round. But it now represents to me a fucktonne of work and stress, whereas pre kids I just naively enjoyed other family members’ fucktonnes of work, without realising how stressed they probably were!! I’m sure I’m doing something wrong but now it feels like a day that’s all about everyone else and my wishes are irrelevant.

And the Santa bullshit. And the current focus on many Santa focused "experiences ". Elf on the shelf. Take your kids to Lapland to further reinforce the lies you tell your kids. Piles of presents so the kids have "lots of stuff to open".
I choose to opt out.

I like Christmas but it does start far too early, I agree with that. My 11 yo DD asked if we could put the decorations up the day after Halloween! I obviously said no because it’s November, she was very sad about this but we’ve always put them up in early December so no idea why.

I felt the way you do about it before I had DC because my parents were useless at Christmas. Lapsed Jewish Dad who bought me presents but didn’t know how else to celebrate Christmas so we usually just watched TV… Mum who liked to get drunk and subsequently burnt the dinner. It was always rubbish. Had my own DC and made it good so now I look forward to it.

Christmas is what you make of it
There's no reason you have to do what everyone else does. Make it a day you love, get yourself a treat, eat whatever you want to eat, or go on holiday. See it as a free day off work and ignore everything else.

I agree with you, but it's not always possible to ignore the situation you're placed in.

I don't call it 'Christmas' anymore, my dh doesn't like it he finds it overwhelming. I largely ignore all the marketing crap so don't feel as affected. What we do is see that time of year as a time to enjoy early nights, rest get cosy and make plans for the year ahead. For me winter is about hibernation reflection and rest before the new year.

I'm not putting up a tree again this year I can't be bothered it doesn't mean anything to me, instead I light more candles put up some lights and enjoy that. Given the state of the world I don't think it's realistic for companies to keep ramming 'Christmas is a time for family' or similar rubbish down our necks.

Make this winter about you op, about the things you enjoy and shut the rest of the noise out.