Does anyone else hate xmas?

[grinchapparently]

I don't like Christmas, in fact I totally dread it.
I used to love it as a child, but now all grown up it makes me feel more alone.
It highlights that I have no family around or who care, it throws in my face that I should be happy when I'm not, and I constantly get bombarded on social media pictures of happy families.
(I do know I shouldn't look)
But seriously why is it thrown down our necks?! Heat xmas radio has literally been an option since pissing September. ( i flick through it).
Every time someone mentions xmas or I hear a xmas song I get a lump in my throat. I literally dread this time of year.
Is it just me?

I don't hate it but I'm ambivalent. I'm not religious & I think the money spent could go on better things like proper holidays away. I only get one day off too.

This year has been shit with several big changes in my life due to bereavement & seperating from STBXH. I am hopeful I can get a week off next year around the Big Day & eff off to somwhere sunny. As it is now I only gift to immediate family and don't bother with cards. I only decorate because DD expects it.

I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you. You must find it so tough at this time of year

It’s not running away to go and do something you’ll enjoy while you are off work due to Christmas. It’s making good use of your leave and disposable income.

I think that it all depends on your circumstances.

I love Christmas (far more than birthdays or any other holidays) but that's because it's when I know I will be together with my family who I love. My brother has a very busy and stressful life so I don't get to see him and his family anywhere near as much as I would like, but at Christmas we always get together.

If my circumstances were different I would probably hate it.

In fact in another few years when DS has left home and its just me and Dh i will probably hate it!

So I sympathise and Yanbu

@Goldenboysmum That's terrible, I'm so sorry

It has become such a big commercial thing now - just sell sell sell. I used to know a religious catholic couple who went to Agadir every Xmas for the peace and quiet.

I hate all the children's stuff that goes on in the run up to Christmas so everyone is shattered by the time Christmas itself comes around. We have already been told the dates of 2 Christmas concerts, there will be at least 2 other school nativities/carol services plus parties for work, and parties for each of our children's activities.

I hate the people who never host who still expect things to be done in a certain way.

I also really hate people who say 'it's just one day'. No it's bloody not. We have people staying in my house from 17th Dec to 3rd Jan this year. In that time I am hosting two birthday parties, Christmas Day and Hogmanay. I am also driving the guests to another relatives house an hour away for a lunch. I have already started the baking, the shopping, and organising various trips out (plus the preChristmas clear out). Work is also very busy just before Christmas so DH will be dealing with a lot of the kids Christmas party/concert stuff solo.

We're looking forward to a few days chilling in early January.

I disagree with anything christmassy before December, preferably not before the 15th or so.

Forget the consumerism and go for wintry walks and then being cosy with good TV and films.

I find celebrating the 12 days of Xmas is good too - it means Christmas peters out slowly rather than Xmas day and then flat feeling on boxing Day. You can also pace the feasting! So having cheese and biscuits etc in the evening right up to 12th night.

A friend and I were discussing it today and agreed on this.

I can't stand it being thrust down my throat in October, and people tying themselves in knots trying to make everything perfect, spending money they can ill afford. Everything having to be done "before Christmas", when it's really not necessary.

I will be spending Christmas Day alone, and I'm looking forward to it.

I also hate that while I'm so busy at Christmas time other people are grieving or feeling lonely. If only we could even things out a bit. I have a workmate who always hosts for everyone she knows who will be alone, I think that's so lovely.

I’ve cancelled Christmas for myself this year. I’m just going to treat it as any other day. 2021 I was alone and had a breakdown. Did something stupid which has impacted my life considerably.
i spent last Christmas with some of the people that contributed to that breakdown - all they did was remind me of what I had done the Christmas before which was really horrible. I no longer have contact with them.
I will probably put a tree up, I’ll make my Christmas LEGO but other than that it will just be a normal day for me.
I can’t go away easily because of my pets and I’m working between Christmas and New Year. I’ll just get myself something nice for dinner and have a long walk in the woods with my dog.

I hate it, mainly because I miss how it used to make me feel (i.e. the excitement the night before when you were a kid, the build up at school etc). Now it's just the boring adult side of things like sorting things out and cooking, not to mention spending a lot of money.

I have to put a smiley face on for the whole of the period, because being sad at Christmas is Not Allowed. It's exhausting. I'd happily sit in and treat it like any other day, but my parents worry about me when I say things like that, so I go with it.

NB I'm not depressed, fine most of the time, just don't get the hype anymore.

Apparently if you don't want to celebrate it, you're a scrooge. God forbid you don't want to celebrate it as a family, there are charity fundraisers for that because apparently every child should have a gift as it is child abuse otherwise!

I'm the same as you op, I loved it as a child... but there are some horrific memories which trigger me every single year, starting in October.

I'm the same as you @grinchapparently. I have no children, no family in the UK, my partner usually works and I can't go away as there is no one to look after my cats (my ex husband does when I go on holiday but he always spends Christmas with his widower father...he's an only child). In the last 25 years I've spent all but 7 Christmas Days completely on my own.

I work in travel and this year I'm spending 4 days beforehand in Venice, which is my Xmas present to myself. Partner will definitely be working as he's recently had to take a month off work after his mother died unexpectedly...so when he's not a work he'll be with his father (and partner is another only child!).

Like you it's the hype I hate, the messages/tv ads etc that makes those without families feel like failures. And god forbid you even hint that you don't like Christmas!

@Goldenboysmum

@Goldenboysmum
I feel your pain - I lost my son on Christmas Day 2019, at the age of 24 to SADs.
I have no advice, other than to say that you just have to do whatever it takes to get you through.
Something like we have experienced certainly puts all the stressing about shit like
co-ordinating tableware and which cheese to include on the board into perspective.

I do. Fom the age of 8 when my parents divorced. Having to share the day with each parent. My dad crying because he missed me, when it wasn't his year to have me. Him having to pick me up and drop me off at my nans. I go abroad now most years over christmas with my husband, he had a similar childhood. We are late 40's we decline invites for 'family' dinners on xmas day, we have no children. We like our time away during the madness of it all.

I’m so very sorry.

someone I know doesn’t celebrate Xmas but does volunteer work on Xmas day instead. Perhaps you could do something like that
in the morning which would make you feel
less lonely and could probably help you to enjoy having the rest of the day to yourself.

I’m sorry that you are not in a good place right now and hope things improve.

Wow. That sounds a lot. I couldn’t do all that. you sound amazing.

Not a fan off Christmas, i could cope with it if it wasn't shoved in your face for 2 months beforehand.

If you don't have the big family movie Xmas your made to feel a failure.

No other holiday is fussed over like Christmas. People can celebrate but I don't feel I'm missing out if don't participate in Easter, Halloween etc. Your made to feel even more sad, lonely that you not having the most wonderful time off the year.

If anyone has any tips on how to enjoy a low key Xmas and not feeling like I'm missing out please let me know. I avoid tv adverts, hate Xmas songs so no radio. Don't go near a supermarket in December. If I could I'd hibernate till new year.

Most likely for the first time, it will be me and the cat, I'm planning on some nibbles, drink some cocktails, nice box off chocolates. Watch a box set that's nothing to do with Xmas. But in reality most likely wallowing in self pity and sleeping wishing it was over.

Im not a social person, spend a lot off my time on my own anyway and cope fine. Just how do I treat dec 25th as any other day and not feel sad, lonely and wishing I had more. Cause I'd know if was having a big family Xmas I'd be wishing I was home alone, Can't win!

I find it a huge burden. A lot of shopping and cooking for me to do and very little back in return. It’s just a lot of work. I also have a very difficult relative who I feel obliged to host - can’t think of a reason to get out of it. It’s all very one-sided.

Exactly how I feel, you're not alone x