Does anyone else hate xmas?

[grinchapparently]

I don't like Christmas, in fact I totally dread it.
I used to love it as a child, but now all grown up it makes me feel more alone.
It highlights that I have no family around or who care, it throws in my face that I should be happy when I'm not, and I constantly get bombarded on social media pictures of happy families.
(I do know I shouldn't look)
But seriously why is it thrown down our necks?! Heat xmas radio has literally been an option since pissing September. ( i flick through it).
Every time someone mentions xmas or I hear a xmas song I get a lump in my throat. I literally dread this time of year.
Is it just me?

I also dislike Christmas.

So many miserable childhood memories of my mother dictating / controlling Christmas - how everything had to be done absolutely her way & to her timings. Absolutely miserable for anyone involved.

I haven’t spent a Christmas with her in 10 years and the relief has been immense.

You’re not alone, I’ve hated it for a while. It just rubs in my face how my life didn’t turn out like I expected it would. But I do like having the day off from work.

I hate it too. I don't have any family to share it with so feel like a burden on friends.

I hate the Christmas threads on MN and avoid them like the plague. Christmas Eve boxes, matching pyjamas, elf on the shelf. I can't stand it! What a waste of time and money. And the threads about what people want/expect for Christmas! Shocking.

Hate it too OP for many reasons, roll on January when it’s all behind us. So sorry for everyone who has lost a loved one at this time, especially a child, I associate this time of year with my wonderful step mum dying in her 50s and it’s another reason why I want it all over

I hate the consumerism of it. Some women ( it never seems to be men) start planning the bloody thing a year ahead. Then like to brag how organised they are. I personally just think they are mental. Our kids (18 and 24) love it so we are in have to keep the traditions going even though we would probably like to just fly off somewhere and do something else. Plus there haven't been any Xmas work dos since Covid.

Like you it's the hype I hate, the messages/tv ads etc that makes those without families feel like failures. And god forbid you even hint that you don't like Christmas!

Nobody can "make" you feel like a failure, and why should anyone feel like a failure because they don't have a family? I don't have a family, I don't feel a failure in the slightest. I actually feel sorry for the people who run around stressing, aiming for the perfect family Christmas and then being disappointed that theirs wasn't perfect. This will be my first totally alone Christmas, and I am really looking forward to it. Christmas is what you make it.

We don’t like it at all so hardly celebrate. We just have a nice roast and a good bottle of wine with it.

As a family of adults we don’t exchange gifts because were very fortunate and can afford what we want or need throughout the year so it all became a bit silly. There are no small kids involved otherwise it would be different.

The true meaning of “Christ’s mass” is lost so for some it’s just become an orgy of too much food, drink and consumerism, which I am cynical about. I simply don’t buy into it and watch from the sidelines!

Dont get me started on all those cookery programmes where the pressure is on to make wonderful food and tasty bites. Who the heck has the money or time?

Im glad I’m not the only one wanting to avoid it.

This is not uncommon.

I think there are two separate/different but similar situations.

Firstly - where Christmas itself in some way is the cause of the bad feelings. This would be the case where the PP described a child's suicide at Christmas. for @Goldenboysmum . I do not know if it is possible or even healthy to try to change the feelings associated with Christmas. It would appear that it is a about getting through it as you can, respecting the feelings associated with the events?

Secondly - where Christmas exacerbates existing feelings of general loneliness or other sadness. This sounds more similar to what you describe @grinchapparently ? In this situation what can help is to take more control of Christmas. So instead of focusing on the advertising stereotype of Christmas (which applies to far fewer people than we imagine in our heads), start to make plans for how your Christmas will be. Some people do different activities, some go away to other places, some plan events with friends, some volunteer. By taking control you can hopefully change your Christmas into something you are in control of and therefore can look forward to a little more.

There are thousands of options beyond 'Christmas advert' and 'miserable Christmas' - the key is finding the one that suits you.

I loathe it. The consumerism, the stress, the push/pull of which family we go to - I never end up with a choice as family bulldozes us in one direction or another.

I hate that my kids by piles if stuff they don't ever use & I'm sneakily throwing out in 6 months time.

The cost.

The fact that everything is on this time of year. Dd's dance concert, Christmas parties, family wanting to do visit or do Xmas lunch gatherings on other days since we couldn't do it together.

I sigh with relief on Jan 1.

I miss my childhood christmases remembering the Salvation Army band playing on Christmas morning, the family coming round and the excitement of it all,.. this Christmas Day I'll spend it with my DD who has cerebral palsy and my DP who isn't a lover of Christmas and has been diagnosed recently with Parkinson's. My son and DIL and GS X3 live in the north and we live in the south, on a FaceTime with my 8 year old GS I asked what he'd like for Christmas and he said 'you nanny' 😢❤️ sometimes it really is the things that money can't buy that make a happy Christmas.

I’m with you OP. I find it truly lonely, especially since my baby son died in NICU at Christmas. I remember just after he passed away I noticed a very sorry looking piece of tinsel someone had put up in the room and have never quite got that out of my head.

There is something about knowing / perceiving other people are spending the day with their loved ones that makes it harder than other times of the year too. These days I spend the day with a friend who has no family and we have a sort of alternative non-Christmassy day eating nice food and putting the world to rights.

I wouldn't say I hate it, more that I'm indifferent. Some years I don't do anything, this year I will have a meal with my mum on Xmas eve. It doesn't really bother me. I have no feelings towards it.

I dread it too. My adult DC has autism and cannot cope with all the changes that happen in shops, the amount of people etc in the run up to Christmas. I can't put any decorations up at home, they won't eat anything different than their safe food even on Christmas day so won't be making Christmas dinner, they can't cope with people visiting the house so I don't see my other DC or the rest of my family and to top it all off the anxiety makes them so unwell that they're physically sick most of December and sleep even less than usual (which isn't a huge amount to start with) so I head in to January a shell of myself.

Sending to all.

I hate it. I feel so alone. I wish I could go to sleep on 1st December and wake up on 2nd January (don't really like NYE either).

Thoughts and virtual flowers/hugs to Goldenboysmum

I used to love it but I just don’t enjoy it anymore. Such a lot of money, stress and work and we recently lost DM so it’s just us 4 together.

I feel the same, op.

I don't like it in the commercial sense

Christmas tat in the shops in AUGUST

Once it's out of the way we can look forward to Valentine's Day and then Easter being rammed down our throats

Op I absolutely love it.
I think of it as essential at this dark time of year.
However i also have virtually no family left and our Xmases are small... And all that side of things does upset me a great deal also.
I try and remind myself that actually many large family gatherings are fraught with issues.

Sounds good to me!

I think we need to start being more confident in ignoring all the tat. I’m not saying I’m any good at this myself, just that it would be very helpful.

It's something to brighten up the long winter. I look forward to it marking the top of the year.

I don't really celebrate it.

I used to love it. DH and I, for years, used to split the costs and work with DD/SIL and go there for the day - lovely memories.

But, DH died in April, and I'd really sooner just stay in this year, watching non Xmas box sets and letting it pass.

I've got no energy of enthusiasm for the build up either.

But, DD is determined I should go there, and has roped in my adult GCs to guilt trip me into going there as well. I get that she doesn't want me alone, but, I'll be ok.

I'm dreading it. 🙁

I absolutely hate it and I have a family, I would quite happily never have another Xmas again. Believe me OP for every person putting up happy family pictures there probably someone like me wracking up stress and debts I’ll be paying off all year to buy my kids presents so they don’t feel like shit when they go back to school and find out they got crap from Santa while everyone else got a games console or an ipad.

Then Spending the day with a miserable dysfunctional family with everyone trying to pretend they are having fun for the kids. We can’t even have a drink to get through Christmas Day because my sister is an alcoholic and if she so much as sniffs a Prosecco she’ll set off on a massive bender and abandon her kids for weeks on end.

I actually feel anxious on edge every year from October until January, Christmas songs in shops can stress me out to the point where I have a panic attack and have to leave. I would love to just ignore the whole thing but instead I have to pretend it’s all jolly and magical for the kids, and they’re already asking when we can put up the Xmas tree because other kids they know already have theirs up..ffs!!

It's not running away. It's taking control over the pain that Christmas causes you, by finding distraction and hopefully some joy in a different environment.

I hope you are able to get away.

Me
so much expectation
have to make magical for kids
no one makes it nice for me
no family whatsoever other than my own
kids so I feel so sad seeing these happy families
I run myself into the ground every year and then cry
kids don’t need anything at all but the expectation
this year I’m broke and would prefer to spend the £ on a holiday rather than tat they don’t need
I’m almost out of the magic years thank god then I will have frank conversation with kids about priorities