Lady Cocklodger

[hulahoopqueen]

SOS, Mumsnet.
AIBU to ask you to help me out here - having a conversation with my husband about insults. I explained the concept of a cocklodger to him, he thought the word was hilarious (we are in agreement that the concept is gross).
This led to a discussion about what the female version would be called.
Is there one? If so, what is it called? If not, what would you call it?

Hilarious thread!

If you're channelling that Romanian rapist, maybe.

I often worry I'm one of these, when I met dh I loved my civil service job, after 5 years together I got pregnant and moved to his country, I'm now a SAHM to 2 DDs while dh is a high earner, though I've also learnt on here I'm helping him earn by looking after the DC, so maybe it's not so bad.

That's not the same. It was a 5 years relationship before you got pregnant and now you are a family bringing up his 2 kids. I wouldn't say you are helping him earn, I would say you are saving your family childcare costs and sacrificing a career for your family. A SAHM is not a cocklodger or whatever the female version is now decided as.

Gusset guest

Fnarrr!

Yes a SAHM who actually cares for the children and manages the household isn't what this thread is about as she is actively contributing. Neither is a trophy wife to an older, rich man as that is both sides benefitting from an arrangement.

The female equivalent of a cocklodger would move in with/marry a man then stop contributing. She might quit/lose her job or reduce hours (without good reason like illness) while still expecting him to do most of the housework. She would expect him to pay for her while keeping any money she has for herself. She would neglect any children in the household. She might be an addict, wanting to go out drinking all the time, obsessed with her phone/gaming etc. or just very lazy.

These people (male and female) are not the majority but they do exist as do the mugs they leech off. I was such a mug once to an exbf.

Thanks for the reassurance, we live in Germany where kindergarten is very cheap, ours was 150 euro a month, I read on here about some nurseries costing over 1000 pounds a month. I'm lucky in that DH is a very hands on dad, does lots of house and DC admin, he also pays for a cleaner to come in twice a week. I have a side hustle (selling at car boot sales) to bring in extra cash. I have full access to money and he doesn't care what I spend.
So I understand being a SAHM is not sponging off a man.
If anyone recognises my name I am often on the relationship board telling people there's no need to live together so quickly, that way it's easier to weed out the cocklodgers.

MingeSitter

I thought the New Year honours list had been released early.
Fairly sure Lady Cocklodger is a friend of the ex-PM.

I'd say just a feeeloader.