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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

XL Bully Around Children

186 replies

Popcornlassie28 · 07/11/2023 14:06

Hi,

My SIL has decided to buy a XL bully dog (yes I know they are in the process of being banned by the government).

I was bitten by a bully type dog as a child when I was round a friend’s house having a play date so I’m naturally on edge about this.

I have two small children (and she has an older school age child) and I’ve expressed I’m not comfortable with the children visiting the house with the dog there but she is welcome to visit us here.

They think I’m being OTT and said that the dog is fine and not all are aggressive. She is refusing to muzzle or put the dog away as she said it’s a pet that needs to be socialised with people and putting the dog away will add to the issue.

Seeing all the news about these dogs at the moment makes me think I’m being responsible as one bite can kill and be devastating.

I know it’s a nature verses nurture debate and people think it’s how they are raised and not their breed but I don’t know enough about this breed to comment.

Am I being unreasonable to not allow the children over?

OP posts:
bombastix · 07/11/2023 14:08

No.

You fancy indulging your sister at the cost of your children and your own safety, go ahead.

Jessica167353 · 07/11/2023 14:09

Absolutely no way would I put myself or my children anywhere near that dog.

Popcornlassie28 · 07/11/2023 14:09

Thank you! They are not allowed over at all. My SIL can visit here without the dog.

OP posts:
Lemsipper · 07/11/2023 14:09

You are not being unreasonable.

The fact she bought it even though she knows they are about to be banned is incredibly stupid on her behalf….Id personally make a remark to that effect too.

Don’t feel bad and protect those kids.

drspouse · 07/11/2023 14:09

Why on earth has she bought one?

FooFighter99 · 07/11/2023 14:10

I love dogs, and have a Rottweiler so I'm not unfamiliar with large breeds and even I wouldn't trust an XL Bully.

They're bred with no regard for their health or temperament and usually owned by idiots who don't bother training and socialising them.

Keep your children safe and do NOT let them be alone with the dog

Just curious, is it a brand new puppy or an older dog that she is rehoming?

Whatdidtheromanseverdoforus · 07/11/2023 14:11

Well if you’re unreasonable, then so am I . It’d be a cold day in hell before my little ones set foot in that house again. Does she know she’s looking at close to 300 a month for the insurance? Is she aware that if it escapes and takes itself for a jolly ( like they often do) it’ll be shot? She wants an IQ test for bringing an animal into her home that can easily kill her or her child.

Ffsmakeitstop · 07/11/2023 14:11

Absolutely not being unreasonable. What planet does she live on? Why is she not even muzzle training if that's going to be the law? Stick to your guns and stay away.

bombastix · 07/11/2023 14:11

It's not so much come for dinner as "come to my house and be dinner for the dog".

Your SIL is stupid.

Newuser75 · 07/11/2023 14:11

I've said this before on here but I'll say it again.

I have worked with dogs my whole adult life. I have studied animal behaviour to a high level. Under no circumstances would I allow my children anywhere near one of these type of dogs.

While it is true that appropriate socialisation and habituation can ensure a happy, confident dog of any type these are extremely powerful dogs and if they were to bite there could easily be a situation where if they were to bite the results (as seen in the media) would be catastrophic for an adult let alone a child.

Any dog can bite. Not every dog can kill.

Having one of these dogs near kids is (in my opinion) madness.

mindutopia · 07/11/2023 14:12

It would be a no, from me. You can express your concern about the risks to her own children (and it sounds like you have done). But it's a no, be firm, stick with your decision. Your children come first. It may also be worth pointing out to her though that it's unlikely YOU will be the only person to feel this way. I would not let my dc have a playdate at the house of someone who I believed had a potentially dangerous dog (of any breed). This will have far reaching impacts on her children's friendship circles and their social interactions, birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. in the future.

margotrose · 07/11/2023 14:12

Why has she bought a dog that will need to spend its entire life leashed and muzzled out of the house?

She's an idiot and YANBU.

SaturdayGiraffe · 07/11/2023 14:13

Buy a muzzle. I expect she'll turn up with the dog one day to 'convince' you.

Popcornlassie28 · 07/11/2023 14:14

@FooFighter99 Thanks! I don’t know enough about large breed dogs. The only dog I’ve lived with is a Cavalier when I was 10…the most docile little beings in the world😂

I am absolutely fuming about the XL bully. It’s a puppy. She got it discounted because of the ban. Really silly.

OP posts:
IHeartGeneHunt · 07/11/2023 14:14

I grew up with big dogs, I've got a dog, and I won't let my daughter anywhere near an XL bully.

Not even twenty minutes ago one ran up to my little on-lead dog in the park and started snapping and putting it's paw on her head, and the man who was with it couldn't even get it to look at him never mind come back to him. He had to drag it away. I don't trust them and I've never seen anyone who has one, be able to control it.

bombastix · 07/11/2023 14:14

SaturdayGiraffe · 07/11/2023 14:13

Buy a muzzle. I expect she'll turn up with the dog one day to 'convince' you.

She can stay outside with her people eater in that case

Cincinnatus · 07/11/2023 14:15

My precious children would never be around creatures like that.

Jasmin1971 · 07/11/2023 14:15

Under no circumstances would I allow her to bring that dog to my house, children or no children. You are totally justified in banning it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/11/2023 14:16

I wouldn’t go round- I wouldn’t go round even it was muzzled tbh. No sane person puts a child around such a beast.

Passerillage · 07/11/2023 14:16

You are absolutely right. Does she have form for being contrary and oppositional like this? It seems particularly perverse to seek out a dog like this RIGHT as they are about to be banned, and you mention dog, not puppy, so it sounds like she is buying someone else's adult dog, and God only knows how it was brought up.

If she has a contrary nature, raising objections will probably cause her to dig her heels in even more, and this will end up causing a rift, but a perfectly reasonable one (from a safety perspective).

Has she actually bought it? Is there anyone in the family she listens to and respects, like your parents/her parents?

Fallenangelofthenorth · 07/11/2023 14:17

Very much doubt she's getting one. She's winding you up. IF, and it's a big IF she does get one, then she won't have a choice but to muzzle it outside of the home.

Passerillage · 07/11/2023 14:17

Sorry just saw you said it was a "discounted" puppy. Christ.

ChipButtiesRule · 07/11/2023 14:18

Regardless of the chances of any XL bully being dangerous, this specific one has....

a) been sold at a discount because of a ban everyone saw coming; suggesting a 'breeder' that hasn't a fucking clue - so assume poor breeding
b) been bought by someone, despite knowing the very limited life it will have to live as a result of the ban; suggesting an owner that hasn't a fucking clue - so assume poor training and socialisation

Neither of those add up to a dog that is likely to have the right nature and nurture for a long, safe, happy life.

SayingwhatIreallythink · 07/11/2023 14:18

Your sil is stupid. The reason we are in this situation is because most people who choose these dogs are stupid.

GuessItsANameChange · 07/11/2023 14:18

I’d not let my children visit, nor would I ever visit.

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