XL Bully Around Children

[Popcornlassie28]

Hi,

My SIL has decided to buy a XL bully dog (yes I know they are in the process of being banned by the government).

I was bitten by a bully type dog as a child when I was round a friend’s house having a play date so I’m naturally on edge about this.

I have two small children (and she has an older school age child) and I’ve expressed I’m not comfortable with the children visiting the house with the dog there but she is welcome to visit us here.

They think I’m being OTT and said that the dog is fine and not all are aggressive. She is refusing to muzzle or put the dog away as she said it’s a pet that needs to be socialised with people and putting the dog away will add to the issue.

Seeing all the news about these dogs at the moment makes me think I’m being responsible as one bite can kill and be devastating.

I know it’s a nature verses nurture debate and people think it’s how they are raised and not their breed but I don’t know enough about this breed to comment.

Am I being unreasonable to not allow the children over?

Also, you'll have to really be on your guard here. Does your DH have other siblings? What about PIL - what do they think of this lunacy? You need to ensure that if visiting PIL or DH's other siblings that SIL will not be allowed bring that monster dog over, otherwise you will have to stop visits to their houses too, if you can't trust them to act in your DCs best interests.

Nope, I'd not be letting young kids around one of those brutes at all.

I've got three big dogs who are all very soppy, friendly creatures (one of them a retired therapy dog for children with SEN so like... REALLY soppy) and I still shut them in a different room when my SIL comes over with her little ones. Not because I think they'd do anything but because young children can be rambunctious and don't understand doggy body language, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Do I think they could probably sit and spend an hour poking my greyhound in the eye and he wouldn't do anything? Yes. Do I want to risk it with a small child? Nope.

Anyone unwilling to keep big dogs with a bite like a hyena and small children separate, or who think such a request is dramatic or an overreaction shouldn't be buying a big dog. Or any dog really but definitely not one that can kill a grown man.

I’m not sure you can muzzle a SIL however much some mumsnetters would like to

My friend has 2 pitbulls. I won't go round to her house because I can't risk myself or my baby getting bitten. So no you're NBU

I wouldn’t let my small children visit any where with a big dog (big enough to seriously injure my child) that wasn’t put in a separate room to the children. No matter how friendly or docile, they’re animals. Some humans can barely control the urge to slap a child as discipline, how can we expect better from dogs?!

I have a small dog that hasn’t ever bit but might be prone to biting. I am comfortable that if she bit a reasonable sized human it would be painful but not life altering. I keep her away from smaller humans as she might be able to do more damage to them. It’s just common sense.

This is the article a previous commenter mentioned: https://news.sky.com/story/mum-who-thought-xl-bully-was-lovely-urges-tighter-laws-after-son-6-was-attacked-13002099

Maybe send it to her? It's basically your SIL, in a few months' time, regretting the decision having just saved her young son from their 'lovely' XL bully while she was lucky enough to be in the next room when it attacked.

I don't believe in/support breed specific legislation and love bull breeds in general but I would have my child nowhere near that dog OP. There's clearly a problem with breeding/genetics of XL's in this country (interestingly the US, where the breed originated, are not seeing the same issues with aggression) and it's impossible to tell which dogs are affected until it's too late and they've already killed or injured someone.

The consequences of sticking to your guns are that some people will think/say you're being 'precious', the consequences of allowing your DC around the dog could be as serious as death so there's no contest is there really. I would just stick to 'my DC, my decision' as a response to any pressure/guilt trips and refuse to get into a debate about it if I were you. You've risk assessed the situation for your DC, as any parent should, and (correctly in my view) decided the risk is too great so that's that, whatever anyone says.

I'm all for the bad owner vs bad dog considerations but there are exceptions. Please tell your sister to Google Killer Kimbo. There were articles recently showing that more than half of all XL Bully breeding studs I'm the UK came from this dog who was the product of brother-sister breeding himself. There's a reason these dogs are unstable.

It not necessarily nature versus nurture . Many of these dogs go back to one particular stud dog who’s offspring have unstable temperaments . This dog has been so over used and appears on some pedigrees many times . These dogs can appear fine and normal but can change like the flick of a switch .it is due to a neurological disorder. I would not allow my family near one . The change is similar to cocker rage that was seen a number of years ago

Who would even want such an ugly aggressive hunk of meat walking around their house? Like something out of a horror movie that would rip your throat out at any time. It baffles me. They must be thick as pig shit. It’s the only explanation.

I thought that too 😆

She does does sound like a danger to herself and others tbh.

I have a medium sized terrier mix which I cannot explicitly trust around children. Knowing how 'feisty' terrier types can be and add in the absolute size of the bull terrier mixes like the XL bully, it's just a no really. Don't take the risk at all.

Oh my god, that woman had the dog 'a couple of months' and left her six year old alone with it. She says she dismissed the XL bully ban as nonsense until she had to drag the thing off her child, leaving him with serious injuries. I'm not blaming her; no one deserves to learn their lesson in such s traumatic way but the entrenched belief being spread around social media that these animals are 'nanny dogs' or 'big softies' is truly terrifying. She's very lucky her son is alive and both of them will live with the repercussions of this attack forever. Something needs to be done about the pro-bully propaganda putting children at risk like this.

When walking my dog around our small village I met an elderly man I often meet and say hello, etc. Last week he had a puppy he said it was one of ‘those American ones’ I said did he know they were being banned, he said his adult grand daughter ‘had all the paperwork’! My friend met them later in the week with the grand daughter’s small child leading it. Fortunately for me they took it back to Manchester, but their small child could possibly be at risk when it grows bigger.

Better safe than devastatingly sorry, OP.

SIL doesn't sound like a responsible dog owner at all so I wouldn't let mine anywhere near.

I am a massive dog lover, having 3 of my own (2 of which are Rottweilers). I would NOT be spending time in that home and nor would my children. There hasn’t been a single week lately where this dog breed hasn’t attacked or killed. These dogs are dangerous, they have been so interbred that they are mentally unbalanced.
In the case of this breed it is the dog and not the owner/lack of training. Being around these dogs is akin to Russian roulette. I hope that your SIL doesn’t find this out the hard way 😞

My friend has an XL bully, he is a big pile of soppy mush!
however she will do anything and everything to abide by laws and keep people safe, even tho he’d more likely lick you to death!! does your sil know that by next year muzzling will be mandatory for bully’s? And they need certain harnesses. Also they can’t be insured at the moment.
I have older children but I wouldn’t let younger kids round a bully. At the end of the day you are the one that need to protect your kids. X

YANBU to not allow your children to be around any dog - children lack the skills to read the body language of dogs.

Your sister is massively unreasonable to purchase an XL bully pup, who's whole life will sadly now be very restricted.

YABU to write a post which adds to the witch-hunt of this particular breed.

I would do the same OP, your kids your rules.

She's an idiot.
It would be a hard no to ever going anywhere near that dog for me.

Utter madness to buy one because it’s cheap. Go to a rescue and pay the donation fee, there are often puppies available or temperament tested slightly older dogs.

YANBU

I love bull breed dogs.
I have a massive American bulldog x bull mastiff who I trust more than most people and has the most beautiful temperament of any dog I’ve ever met.

But I would never leave any dog that I haven’t had for long, around children.

My own dog was always put away when the kids were younger and even now they’re teens I am very careful. They know they’re not allowed around her when I’m not there.

My dog has never shown any aggression and is the most placid thing in the world but it is never worth the risk.

My sister had an aggressive chihuahua and my DC wasn’t allowed around unless she put it away because I wouldn’t want my child bit by a dog and even a small chihuahua could do damage.

So many of these stories of dog attacks happen not long after the person has got the dog and it’s scary why anyone would take the risk.

I don’t go in for all the dog hysteria you so often see on mumsnet and will usually stand up for dogs owners and the rights of dogs to have a decent life, be allowed off lead etc. But even I wouldn’t be letting my kids around a dog like that.

It doesn’t sound like your SIL has much experience of dogs and therefore unlikely to be able to properly train it. Fighting is in their genes, just like herding is in a collies. it might be fine, but it might not and if it isn’t the consequences would be dire. If a spaniel decides to bite you, yes it would hurt, but most dogs only bite in fear or self defence and don’t go in for the kill like XL bullies. It’s just not in their genetic make up in the same way. So YANBU.

YANBU I wouldn't have my children around any of the large/muscle breeds and even at that I'm cautious having my kids around all dogs. I have had 3 quite serious dog bites in my time and know how quickly a dog can turn, no matter the breed or how familiar you are with the dog.

I don't see how she can claim the dog is fine when she hasn't even got it yet.