To be sad at the lack of compassion

[Gifgirl]

Reading through some threads makes me so sad (and mad) sometimes.

Excluding teenagers from homes due to MH conditions, being cross about flags on stickers cos they are rainbows, encouraging your kids to not date someone cos they have a disability.. etc etc.

Acceptance and kindness is a wonderful thing and would make the world a much lovelier place.

Please encourage your kids to accept and include people even if they are different to you. We won't move on until this happens.

Mumsnet has, millions of mums on it, from all sectors of society. From any of these threads it is abundantly clear that most mums believe sex is immutable. Mums talk to their kids. Mums are teachers. Mums make up the vast majority of the teaching for children.

So, if you are silly enough to lie to your child that they are in the wrong body; then whether you like it or not, your child will very quickly come across someone who believes sex is immutable. Again and again and again. That ain't gonna be nice for them. Bit confusing.

Don't lie to your kids. It isn't kind.

@LadyGrinningSoul85

I wasn't on any of the threads you mention op but as pp said, it's not that black and white. I wouldn't exclude my adult dc with mental health issues from my home, UNLESS they tried to hurt my other dc. I wouldn't discourage my dc from dating someone with a disability UNLESS I really believed that they couldn't handle it and it would affect their own health/mental health negatively. I don't have an issue with rainbow flags or whatever UNLESS I feel it is part of a campaign aimed at children and young people to normalise and encourage something that is potentially very damaging for them.

"Oh @Gifgirl. Nobody on Mumsnet that I’ve ever seen feels hatred towards trans people, especially not the mixed-up kids being corralled into terrible experimental physical treatment for what is essentially poor mental health.There’s a justifiable fear and anger towards trans rights activists, most of whom are even trans themselves, threatening violence, rape and death to “TERFS”. I have never seen a gender critical poster wish violence, rape or death upon a trans person. Have you?"

Exactly. in all the years I've been on here, I've not once seen someone wish anything bad happen to trans people. I have however seen on here much, MUCH vitriol and ridicule and hope of death/violence against women and men who quote facts ie you can't change sex, and who want safe spaces for females.

I'm extremely compassionate. Sadly, it's the unfashionable kind of compassion that extends, in the first instance, to women and girls.

Generally it’s ok but I would not lump dating someone with disability into this category, sorry. People should date because they fancy someone, not because of compassion

So inclusive, so tolerant.

Yes MattD

There is a huge difference from feminists working for all female people to receive the support and the health care that they need (not necessarily what they 'want') and 'narrow minded, pearl clutching arseholes'. I think it takes a special type of 'narrow minded deeply entrenched prejudice' to frame valid concerns in that way. And I have not seen any posts on this thread, or maybe they were referring to the other thread about the flags, that warrant that description from that poster made before they posted that here on this thread.

It is almost like the Cass Interim report was never published.

It is here by the way, for any readers who are not quite up to date on just why so many feminists, and parent groups, and clinicians and others are worried about simply 'accepting' children and adolescents as their identity. I also have many more links that show that the current treatment plans following 'affirming only' has not worked and is harmful. Including just how many of these patients end up either desisting before hormones or surgery or detransitioning after (and despite the misinformation about detransition rates, it is not the low 1% activists want us all to believe).

cass.independent-review.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/The-Cass-Review-Interim-Report-Final-Bookmarked.pdf

However, feminists are hugely concerned by things such as single sex spaces that include all female people, including prisons, and single sex sports and support for female people who need that additional support to overcome millennia of negative sexist discrimination that female people are still subject to. Regardless of their gender.

Just as they are hugely concerned with the extreme negative side effects of transitioning not being clearly stated and shown to be understood by the patients involved. Fred McConnell was a university student or graduate when they had their double mastectomy and then told the world that they never understood that it meant they couldn't breast feed. There are so many stories out there just like that. But the media keeps glamourising double mastectomies and dismissing the evidence about the huge negative impact on female bodies of puberty blockers and testosterone.

But, apparently, flagging concerns is now pearl clutching and being narrow minded, hateful and phobic and a whole slew of accusations from people declaring that they are the most tolerant and compassionate and inclusive people in the world. The hypocrisy is very clear.

Gah! Just noticed my typo, should say “most of whom AREN’T even trans themselves”.

Applebottomjeenz

"Yes this! I'm not especially young but defo not transphobic! The awful women on here are OBSESSED to the detriment of everything else!"

I think your own deep prejudice about women who don't agree with you is clearly on show here today. Thank you for showing all reading along who might be the narrow minded ones on the thread.

It's always women and girls who have #bekind shoved in their faces. No one is telling the men who post death and rape threats to women every single day to be kind. No one is telling Barbie Kardashian to be kind. No one is telling Andrew Miller to be kind. No one is telling Sarah Jane Barker to be kind. Only reserved for the ones who want to safeguard children.

I'll #bekind when TRAs and misogynists stop threatening women.

I’d rather be an awful woman than a mansmaid.

Just as bloody well, eh?

Oh god yeah.

It's deemed 'trans hate' because you're not 100% committed to the beliefs of the judge, jury and executioners, in the same way as any slight deviation from any other agenda has the same effect. It's the trans supporters etc who don't want a fair, balanced world, they want their world and nothing else.

To quote the late great Magdalen Berns
" I'd rather be rude than a fucking liar"

I was just coming to say that Rocket

Here is a great place to start in case anyone here thinks that lesbians are one homogenous group who are fully accepting that lesbians can have dicks.

It also needs to be said that Nancy Kelly, the previous CEO for Stonewall, equated lesbians who rejected male trans people from their relationship potential pool were akin to sexual racists and some other ridiculous slurs.

Just another reason feminists have included these issues in their campaigning and are not 'narrow minded' for doing so.

Magdalen was so fucking fierce. 🔥

Whilst no-one will ever surpass the brilliance of Magdalene, there is another young woman on TikTok, called Allison Ellis, who is like a northern version of her.

She credits Magdalene for her GCness and has a similar deadpan, no nonsense fact ridden content. She's rather brilliant and worth checking out.

@MattDillonsEyebrows Is she on instagram? I’m not on TikTok and wondered if I could find her on insta but I haven’t located her.

I think it’s compassion fatigue. Everyone claims victimhood now and life is hard. People are just getting worn down with the struggle.

🙌🏾🙌🏾

We live in a country where the Home Secretary’s plan on homelessness is to ban tents because they’re “unsightly”.

Compassion’s currency is not high in the uk right now.

Compassion. Another perfectly harmless word that I now have to hate because of tiresome navel gazers.

Whilst I COMPLETELY agree that we need to find a solution regarding shared spaces, I cannot get on board with trans hate. They are people too. And not all of them are out to hurt us.

The million dollar question that keeps getting asked is how can we tell who are the hurty ones?

Be kind ladies and put your needs aside ! Thanks for the reminder 🤗🤗🤗