I got angry with nursery staff today

[angrym]

My DD wasn't allowed to come into nursery today because she's on antibiotics and it hadn't been 48 hours since she started the course - although she has actually been on antibiotics since Wednesday..

In any case, they have a rule which states that even though she's been on antibiotics since Wednesday, because they she was put on a different one on Saturday- that's what counts and it's therefore counted as if she only started Saturday - hence Monday morning makes it less that 48 hours.

Official websites suggest you need to stay off work / school for 24 hours after starting antibiotics.

In any case, I lost my cool a bit. No shouting by any means but I showed that I was less than impressed. I said something like ' it's just not good enough and a ridiculous rule '.

I've never done anything like that before with nursery as I am usually very very nice/ complaint with them, as they look after my precious baby. I was feeling super stressed as I missed a lot of work last week due to the illness and I'm really falling behind and had a lot of important meetings today, so really needed DD in nursery.

Would you apologise or just ignore ?

I would write them a letter apologising for losing my cool, setting a poor example to the children, taking it out on whichever member of staff rather than taking it formally to management in a calm manner.

I would then go on to state in the letter that it is not acceptable that the nursery staff, none of whom are medically trained, are making up quasi-medical policies that have no scientific validity and are preventing your child from learning and you from working - for no good reason whatsoever, while you are still expected to pay the fee. And that you will henceforth be taking your GP's advice on when it is appropriate for your child to return to nursery. Put WITHOUT PREJUDICE at the top of the letter above everything including the addresses. Keep a copy and make sure you send it signed-for or hand it to management, noting who and what time and date you did.

IANAL. I did however have something similar and I was never their favourite parent from then on, but I also didn't get any nonsense again and my child continued to be properly cared for.

Early Years settings go above and beyond the minimum NHS guidelines, as there is an additional responsibility on them to prevent the spread of illness and to keep children well. They are required to create their own policies which show you are doing this.

There isn't via the NHS.

Nurseries have additional guidance for allergic reaction NOT just infection control.

They follow the NHS guidance for infection control too. But the general guidelines for nurseries takes into account allergic reaction as well as contagiousness. The NHS does not take allergic reaction into account as they are only looking at infection control.

Many 'policies' in education, care and healthcare settings are made-up nonsense which have no validity and wouldn't stand up to scrutiny. Quite a few of them are actively causing harm in some way.
Trotting out "it's our policy" as though that is the end of the conversation is common. Not long ago, a family member of mine challenged someone on a policy (which was causing harm or at least meaning something that obviously needing doing wasn't being done, in a not-joined-up kind of way) and when asked straight out "well whose policy is this, then?" the rather sheepish answer was "er... well... just mine really I suppose".

So, the policy is the policy, its no one's fault is clearly not true - it's the fault of whoever made up the policy - from the person standing opposite, through those with no expertise, and those with some, right up to an official body, it can still be a nonsense policy. If it's simply nonsense, or outdated, or not aligned with the current medical, educational, or legal best practice, it needs challenging.

I have been involved in writing policies and procedures in the NHS for years. The purpose is to keep staff and patients safe, amongst other things.
I once found myself being told to work with a medication policy written for carers in the community that was full of errors and misinformation and was actually dangerous. It took me weeks to find out who had written it and it turned out to have been literally cobbled together by a few people with no medical training or qualifications between them.
I am sure this is not applicable to this case, but, IMO, if everyone understands the reasons and the medical evidence behind particular rules in nurseries and other settings, they are going to be more willing to comply. Hopefully.

So in this case, the policy at the nursery may have had a point about allergic reaction, but then every staff member ought to be able to explain why that is or direct the parent to a person or a written explanation of the policy including those actual reasons. If the child has had the same antibiotic before, though, then it doesn't apply.

Scarlet fever by any chance?

100% staff working at the nursery should be able to explain the policy and why it's there.

Parents should also be given the overall 'illness rules/policies' when signing up and the policy would normally be listed there - somewhere in the 'welcome pack'.

It's a fairly standard policy for nurseries in England, so yes you'd expect staff to be able to explain it.

She is so unwell that a second batch of antibiotics is needed and yet you want to send her in to a cesspit of other snotty kids where she probably picked up the infection in the first place.

Are you…ok?

According to a medical website I have just taken a look at, allergic reactions to antibiotics can take minutes up to weeks to occur, so a cut-off of 48 hrs seems too long if you are just trying to catch early (the most severe?) reactions, and too short to cover all of them. Nonsense policy. And Early Years settings should NOT be being put in the position of being tasked with making up health-related policies with no formal training to do so, so the whole system needs challenging. There should be a nationwide policy, and with room in it to adapt for situations that don't quite fit. I am not suggesting the OP takes this on by the way! In the meantime, I'd adapt what I previously said to fit the exact situation i.e. it'll be the doctor who decides.

I think this rule is a bit odd - but it's probably a lesson in not giving out too much information. As you said she'd been on ABs since the Wednesday and they wouldn't have known they'd changed if you hadn't said.

I'd be minded to look at other providers. Some nurseries so have a reputation for trying to send kids home as they don't have enough staff- not saying yours is definitely do this but it's a possibility.

Apologise. Likely the person you had a moan at does not make the rules & is simply doing their job.

You need to apologize the nursery my DC went to wouldn't have children on antibiotics in nursery at all. They had a child once kept coming down with tonsillitis her mum brought her in and asked staff to give her the antibiotics. Most parents kept their child off. She was obviously unwell but they gave them to her. She ended up in hospital couldn't swallow and was coming out in a rash. She had meningitis. So after that they said children must stay home while on antibiotics. Same with their school as well. But was a special needs school with some highly vulnerable children.

I would apologize to the staff memeber you shouted at but also follow up with an email to the manager asking for a refund for that day unless it's clear in the terms and conditions

Yeah I'd apologise. The rules are there for a reason and they otherwise look after your child.

OP clearly states that she DID NOT SHOUT.

As most have said you are in the wrong here. Ill children being kept away from others isn't unique to nurseries schools will apply the same

You do sound stressed, it sounds as if that stress is leading to this decision naking. Is there something work can do to help you catch up?

Yes. How dare they not want a child who might have a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics to attend?

Why were the antibiotics changed?

It's all good now. Apologies made and they totally accepted it and agreed that some rules don't make much sense. They also said they understood it can be really stressful with work etc. for parents. I'm sure they've had parents treat them a lot worse.

I get treated like shit in my job too, a lot. It's life and it happens unfortunately. No one ever apologises to me.
Sometimes people are just human and say what comes to mind. As long as it's not abusive, people can and should move on.

Job done, moving on now.

My nursery has the same rule. They say it’s to give the antibiotics time to start working before sending the child back. In which case resetting the clock when starting new antibiotics could make sense… doesn’t make your life any easier though!

I hear your frustration- my toddler is currently off (and I’m off work) due to the 48 hour after vomiting rule . Which I also understand the logic for, but it does make working a job hard !

you could apologise just to smooth things over , but I’m a pushover like that …
you won’t be the first or the last parent to get frustrated at their attendance policies, I’m sure .

@angrym are you in the east? Think might be the same nursery I use. But not sure. Dreading the time as I don't agree with the rule

Jobsworth? How?
Implementation of common sense in not risking illness within the setting, which could affect staff, staffing levels, ability to cover the number of children they can take in and perhaps having to temporarily close a setting due to this, which then puts everyone out as a result?!

Why is it so difficult to keep a child off if they're unwell or to at least follow the minimum written procedures regarding treatment timescales, that as a parent, you agreed to before placing them there.
I understand one type of antibiotic was taken, but obviously not affective if a new type is being given. The child is still ill.

I know parents have to work, but the people working there are reliant upon being well enough to do their job too. They miss work, they are not compensated. People seem to forget this when it comes to people who look after others children...

Aw I completely get where you are coming from, I have been in the same position myself and it is so hard. You feel guilty and worried for missing so much work. Life juggling such small children is so tough as they are sick a lot.
I do think 48 hours is extreme, even more so when it was pretty close to the 48 hour time. But as others have said maybe apologise, don’t be too hard on yourself though it is a stressful situation.