I got angry with nursery staff today

[angrym]

My DD wasn't allowed to come into nursery today because she's on antibiotics and it hadn't been 48 hours since she started the course - although she has actually been on antibiotics since Wednesday..

In any case, they have a rule which states that even though she's been on antibiotics since Wednesday, because they she was put on a different one on Saturday- that's what counts and it's therefore counted as if she only started Saturday - hence Monday morning makes it less that 48 hours.

Official websites suggest you need to stay off work / school for 24 hours after starting antibiotics.

In any case, I lost my cool a bit. No shouting by any means but I showed that I was less than impressed. I said something like ' it's just not good enough and a ridiculous rule '.

I've never done anything like that before with nursery as I am usually very very nice/ complaint with them, as they look after my precious baby. I was feeling super stressed as I missed a lot of work last week due to the illness and I'm really falling behind and had a lot of important meetings today, so really needed DD in nursery.

Would you apologise or just ignore ?

Think I'd need more detail to make a judgement. On the face of it a blanket must be on 48h abx before coming back to nursery would be ridiculous as for example a UTI or soft tissue infection isn't going to be contagious. If we are speaking about tonsillitis or strep throat where there is a risk of spreading then I don't necessarily think it's outrageous. Depends on the reason for the switch on Saturday, if it was because symptoms were not improving then the infection was not responding to the abx so it's been <48 hours appropriate treatment and if that is their policy I don't necessarily think they were unreasonable. If the symptoms had improved but your DD had developed an intolerance or allergy to the abx and that is why the abx was switched then I agree she should have been able to go to nursery as there has been 48h treatment and she is no longer symptomatic and well in herself.

We have a child undergoing chemo and one who has had open heart surgery in the past year in my DSs nursery and we have stricter infection control policies than perhaps nurseries which don't have children who are so immunocompromised and I am quite happy to support that so I couldn't get riled up about that but then again my nursery hours are funded and I work nights so keeping DS at home isn't a problem for me.

Just guessing - some illnesses need 48 hours on antibiotics to no longer be contagious, so are they just using that blanket rule for all bacterial illnesses? The change of medicine makes sense as they'd usually change it because the first one wasn't working effectively for their illness so the first few days don't 'count' as treated.

I'm sure the worker just rolled their eyes and forgot about it but if you feel you were rude and they're good with your DD usually I'd apologise to make yourself feel better.

If it’s strep throat it’s 24 hrs it’s on the nhs website

As someone currently sat up in a hotel room on day 2 of a conference with antibiotics for a chest infection, can't sleep as feeling rubbish, and 3 days still to go, I totally sympathise with you OP. And no, I couldn't have backed out of it. And your daughter is now pretty much well?
But yes, if you were short with them, then do apologise as it is the decent thing to do. Just give a heavenwards eye roll as you head into the car park.

There is a reason policies move on. This sounds horrendous for your DD, horrendous for the other families with children in the same nursery and unfair on the staff.

I can understand your annoyance as I missed so much work when mine were at nursery, and I’d say at least 30% was when they weren’t actually sick. You’ve got every right to feel frustrated when you’re paying God knows how much per day and they won’t let your child attend. Especially since the official rule is 24hrs after commencing a new one not 48hrs. I don’t think that rule was around when mine were at nursery or that percentage would be higher!

I would ignore. It doesn't sound like you were directly rude to the nursery staff. Nursery is expensive and when you add in loss of wages it's understandable that you got a bit cross. Don't be so hard in yourself. You're human and what you said is hardly bad - yes it's a stupid rule!

And let's face it. If they were required to refund you the fees that policy would not exist!

yanbu. I’ve had similar. They’re always happy to continue taking the money though.

It’s a stupid rule because your child probably caught the infection at nursery and would have spread it around further by the time you picked up on it. I don’t blame you for being annoyed.

Stupid rule for it to be 48hrs. If you’ve got the energy I’d follow up to see if it can be revised to match nhs/other nurseries and schools’ policy of 24 hrs

That's not rude, it's assertive! NHS guidance is a good place to start when challenging nursery rules that don't seem to make sense.

48 hours where I work and it's 48 hours because some parents will lie about how long their child's been on medication. By saying 48 we are pretty much guaranteed that the child has been taking it for at least 24 hours.
Also it can sometimes take a while for side effects to appear. It's nothing to do with if it's contagious or not, it's about a child having a bad reaction to the medication.
Also her medication changed so side effects could have happened with the new medicine which is why it's another 48 hours
I know it's a pain because I have a preschool child too and it's a nightmare when hes ill. Unfortunately children in nursery tend to get I'll frequently.
The staff will really appreciate it if you decide to apologise.

You should apologise.
I doubt the person you got arsey with made the rules.

@Rainallnight "I’d have reacted very similarly to you, OP. You might want to consider a childminder. They’re usually a bit more relaxed about this kind of stuff"

Well that's OK then - let's just ignore official guidance (not necessarily in this case) so it doesn't inconvenience you - ridiculous response.

Hope you "are more relaxed" when your DC get ill through following this wisdom or others taking the same laissez-faire attitude to health protection.

Rules/guidance exist for a reason - not to inconvenience you.

You sound annoyed, not entitled. I’d be annoyed too in your shoes when you need to work and can’t send your well child into nursery. I would politely explain your frustrations to the nursery and ask to see their policy.

Surely the antibiotic would have only been changed if the first one wasn’t working? You would have to start the 48 hour rule again as the child will still have an infection and not telling the nursery potentially puts other children and staff at risk. Whether the rules are stupid or not is another thing altogether.

It depends a bit on how exactly you spoke to them. You aren’t obliged to pretend all their rules are fantastic even if the workers you interact with aren’t the ones who set them. It’s okay to communicate negative opinions, they can pass it up the line to the management who do make the rules. It is probably more effective to also communicate directly with the manager, though. Sometimes management isn’t that great and doesn’t take much notice of messages passed on from front line staff.

But if you said it in a way that criticised the front line workers personally, or that was nasty rather than simply factual (and by saying you were angry, it sounds like this is the case) then an apology is definitely called for because it’s not their fault. You can maintain your disagreement with the policy while still genuinely apologising for the way you spoke.

I would leave it, take them in tomorrow and then look for a childminder. Far more reliable, your DC will be able to form a relationship with one caregiver as opposed to many (and a revolving door of staff) and they tend to be a bit more flexible.
Also handy for school age children too.

The rule is: for a new antibiotic - 48hrs. For an antibiotic they've had before 24hrs.

The 48hr rule is incase of an allergic reaction.

It's nothing to do with being infectious. Whether it's a funky toenail or reoccurring ear infection (i.e not contagious issues) or scarlet fever (very contagious) - the rule is the same.

Because the previous ones weren't working, hence having to change the type - so the infection wasn't being effectively treated?

She sounds like she expects the service she is paying for, to me.

Nurseries are some of the cheekiest fuckers around imo.

I wouldn't apologise.

I'm surprised that nurseries ever have any children to look after the amount of rules they have about children not attending. Literally none of these rules existed 20 years ago when my children were in nursery, and there certainly weren't huge issues as a result. Makes it seem like perhaps all these rules which have come in since free childcare places were available, are more to do with issues with staff ratios than anything else. I am surprised parents with children in nurseries are able to hold down their jobs, the amount of time they must have to take off work to look after perfectly well children who they are paying (assuming it's not a free place) good money for a nursery to look after.

Recurrent tonsillitis, every 28 days like clockwork. She'd be fine in herself once she'd had Calpol and the antibiotics, full of energy and raring to go. They were happy to have her and she never passed it on. Had them removed eventually. If she'd have been cuddly or not herself, I wouldn't have sent her.

What do you mean? It's different for different illnesses.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/is-my-child-too-ill-for-school/#:~:text=Otherwise%20they'll%20be%20infectious,24%20hours%20after%20starting%20antibiotics.

Impetigo - 48 hours
Scarlet fever - 24 hours

There's no single guidance that just covers all antibiotics.

I seem to recall paying for a service to look after my kid when she was well, not the right to utilise her ability to act as a vector for infectious diseases to a bunch of other potentially more vulnerable children and babies.