I got angry with nursery staff today

[angrym]

My DD wasn't allowed to come into nursery today because she's on antibiotics and it hadn't been 48 hours since she started the course - although she has actually been on antibiotics since Wednesday..

In any case, they have a rule which states that even though she's been on antibiotics since Wednesday, because they she was put on a different one on Saturday- that's what counts and it's therefore counted as if she only started Saturday - hence Monday morning makes it less that 48 hours.

Official websites suggest you need to stay off work / school for 24 hours after starting antibiotics.

In any case, I lost my cool a bit. No shouting by any means but I showed that I was less than impressed. I said something like ' it's just not good enough and a ridiculous rule '.

I've never done anything like that before with nursery as I am usually very very nice/ complaint with them, as they look after my precious baby. I was feeling super stressed as I missed a lot of work last week due to the illness and I'm really falling behind and had a lot of important meetings today, so really needed DD in nursery.

Would you apologise or just ignore ?

I don’t think you sound entitled and it’s totally understandable, it’s really frustrating and hard balancing a job and young children in nursery who are basically walking germ banks.

I would probably apologise to the person you specifically spoke to, just because unless it was the owner then they won’t have made the rule and really don’t deserve to be on the receiving end of a grumpy mum when it’s not their fault.
i sympathise, although my nursery are great, they absolutely rinse every possible penny from me and it’s rage inducing to pay when they aren’t able to go in

She didn't shout. It's in the opening post.

These types of rules can be very frustrating, especially when you come up against them first thing on a Monday morning!

Is this a rule that's written down anywhere? If not, it would be worth suggesting that they made other parents/carers aware of the rule so that it didn't catch someone else out. I guess you could ask for a rationale behind the rule, but they have the leeway to impose whatever time limits they want.

I would apologise, not make a big deal out of it, a quick phone call or chat when I next dropped dd off.

I lose my temper with services fairly often when things don't make sense...I don't think saying something is stupid is partout of order.

Usually the rules are in place for very good reasons but can be applied incorrectly by people who don't know those reasons.
For years I had to tell my kids to lie...they always had a lot of reflux and were sick a lot as babies, as they got older they would.be sick, once, after every party, or celebration...a combination of too much excitement and food.
And if they mentioned that to any teacher or nursery staff I would get a call telling me they had to be off for 48hours with diarrhoea and vomiting .....but being sick once isn't D&V and they didn't have an illness and weren't contagious.
Obviously of theybhad diarrhoea or were sick more than once that would be different.

If all you did was to question the rule and if you didn't shout, I don't think there is anything to apologise for. Probably best though to raise this with management as the rest of the team won't have any say on the matter. For what it is worth, our nursery didn't have such a rule.

Also, the rule is usually there to protect both other kids and the staff.
If there is an outbreak they could lose all the staff, or the health officials could shut the nursery. If someone else's child may be infectious then I'd rather they were not with mine tbh

Never heard of the 48hr antib rule

Dd school thankfully doesn't do this

Or she wouldn't be at school for days as often gets ear infection.

Is it just nurseries

Private nursery can set whatever t&c they want, presumably, you’ve read the contract before signing it, so these rules shouldn’t have been news to you. The person you snapped at didn’t set these t&c, so yes, YABVU and I’d apologise.

She was still poorly so a new antibiotic was prescribed, because the old one hadn't done it's job nursery were correct to start the 48 hours again

I used to take my DD to the GP in the morning, get the antibiotics dispensed and drop her straight off at Nursery with the bottle....

OP. I want to send you a DM about this. What letter does your nursery start with?

@motherofawhirlwind what were the antibiotics for? Mine have always been pretty poorly when they've needed them and even if nursery had allowed it, which they didn't, they wouldn't have been well enough to go straight to nursery with their antibiotics

I would have reacted the same and wouldn’t consider myself in the wrong.

Agree. Children attend school whilst taking anti biotics. I would actually escalate this beyond the room leader and book a meeting with the nursery manager to discuss. My nursery says at their discretion but seems their bias is no.

Haha why ? Which letter do you think it starts with ?

I’d have reacted very similarly to you, OP.

You might want to consider a childminder. They’re usually a bit more relaxed about this kind of stuff

Presumably there is a list of the rules in your contract with the nursery. They and you have to abide by these. If the rules state "antibiotics and 48 hours" then that's the rule. If the rule states that the clock restarts if the type of antibiotics is changed, then that's the rule. If it doesn't, then they are in breach of contract. If they have breached the contract by imposing different made up verbal rules, then you are probably within your rights to leave that nursery and go to another one.

My impression is that this is a common problem because of the shortage of nursery workers, many nurseries are rejecting children for all sorts of made up reasons in order to maintain their ratios.

I was feeling super stressed as I missed a lot of work last week due to the illness and I'm really falling behind and had a lot of important meetings today, so really needed DD in nursery.

I understand that is stressful but it's your child and not their fault you have to juggle work and a sick child. All parents do.

I agree 24hours makes more sense than 48 but, their rules are their rules.

It completely depends on what the antibiotics are for.
Strep throat, fair enough she should stay off and you need to just apologise.
Infected eczema or an ear infection, no reason for her to be off, and apologise for the reaction but ask for a meeting with management to discuss the policy.

Resetting the clock to the start of a new antibiotic beginning is fair enough - the old one is clearly not working or has not worked well enough so the child could potentially still be ill or infectious. Its up to the nursery what rules they make around illness NHS guidance is just what it says ‘guidance.’ You do need to apologise and perhaps find a different nursery if you don’t agree with their rules.

There is no official blanket 48hour antibiotic rule.
There is a rule for specific infections that you can go back 48hours after ABs, if you haven't got antibiotics you can't go back with those infections at all (or until several weeks later)

I dont understand how they knew it was a different antibiotic?

I would have been annoyed too. Some nurseries are very quick to take your money but fail to provide the service you pay for. Nurseries are expensive and parents aren't made of money. Often having a reliable nursery with reasonable policies (applied reasonably) is the difference between one parent remaining in the workforce or being forced out.

And I never understand why, just because they care for your children, nursery/ nannies are automatically in the right and parents in the wrong on many MN threads. Even if they've been feeding your kids junk/ sticking them in front of the TV all day/ not changing nappies. You tend to get "what do you expect? It's a hard job. They can't possibly provide the service they're contracted to". This doesn't happen in other sectors/professions.

OP check your private messages. N

Off point… however… Welcome to 2023, not everyone that works in a nursery is a lady.

You can even get female police officers nowadays 🫢@Tweddle