to never buy anything from this store again?

[Cupcakemum79]

Last weekend my husband, daughter and I went shopping for winter coats. I was really looking for a nice trenchcoat or ideally a woollen winter coat.
We walked past a luxury brand store that is known for really nice coats. Husband knows I love their coats and suggested we went inside. Normally I wouldn't even consider buying such an expensive clothing item, but husband insisted that I try on the coat I liked. He wanted to treat me if I ended up loving it, as he said it was a timeless item and he wanted to buy a nice Christmas/birthday gift that he knew I'd enjoy for years.

We asked the shop assistant for a size up in the coat I liked. It just didn't fit very nicely. Shop assistant then suggested I try on a couple of other (much more expensive[ coats. Those were really straight fitting coats though and I told her I preferred the other coat because it had a waist belt and didn't look so baggy.
She then told me "that coat maybe it was for you 20 years ago, now it's not for you".

My husband and I found this incredibly rude, but were too shocked to say anything. It ruined the shopping for me though, so we left immediately and husband told her that we didn't want a coat anymore. He was really angry. I am now 44 years old and tried the size 14, which fitted but pulled across the chest. Surely that's not incredibly old or fat to deserve a remark like that? Also what's with the '20 years ago' I really don't even look that old!

AIBU that I found this incredibly offensive and also I think that had I looked really rich she would never have said anything like that? Also I really don't want a coat from that store anymore...

There’s an And Just Like That episode like this with Charlotte and a belted dress.

your figure does sound similar.. I am also not overweight but not really slim anymore either, but do have a larger cup size which made de size 14 pull a bit. It was the correct size on the shoulders though. Like you I don't want to wear anything baggy because it will make you look even bigger. Also, I still quite like the figure I've got, so 'even' at 44 why wouldn't I wear a more fitted style right. I hope I'll still want to wear nice fitted clothes in my 60s/70s/80s... why not? Glad to hear I'm not the only one with this problem.. I'll have a look at Jaeger!

I think the right approach here is to try on 26 different coats then just leave...

😂😂😂love ab fab.. wish I had had her attitude !

Wow why would your husband write a complaint? She just said honestly that she thought it would not be suitable for you today compared to 20 years ago. She did not insult you she just expressed an opinion. I cannot understand why you would not just shrug this off but instead, be so fuming to write a complaint. It has no bearing on anything important in your life. There are thousands of places you purchase a coat from. I find this quite bizarre.

Agree with everyone that this was an absolutely horrible thing for the shop assistant to say! To the poster saying she was just being honest, come on! I come from a culture where people are often a bit too honest and can come off as rude; they also freely comment on body shape/size in a way that is generally not acceptable in the UK. But even back home, the shop assistant's comment would have been completely out of line. Sounds like she was being bitchy on purpose rather than "honest."

The comment was ageist. Can’t 44 yo women whatever they want ?

I think it has, personally my mind goes to ‘classic’ before ‘chavvy’, same as you! but I guess the impression has just lasted on some people.

Indeed they can but it is a matter of fact that some styles suit certain ages/figures/physiques better than others. It is not insulting or offensive for someone to express this, particularly if that someone has knowledge of the garments in question. Should we pretend to be agnostic to everything and never make reference to those facets of our character that may be relevant?

Really? You don’t think that was rude?

My reaction when I read that comment was, “Bloody hell!”

Sorry - never mind

This is what was said, she stated that in her view, the coat was more appropriate for her 20 years ago. I think this is blunt and honest but I don't think it is rude. It is not a doctrine that has to be accepted, it is an opinion that was expressed by someone who works for the brand.

She then told me "that coat maybe it was for you 20 years ago, now it's not for you".

There are some lovely Barbour coats this year. I have the houndstooth wool coat and it's a relaxed fit. I got a 14 as I sometimes wear a blazer underneath for work and there is plenty of room in it - I'm a 12-14, about 37/38" bust.

What a cheeky cow. I'm glad your husband filed a complaint. I love it when a husband stands up for his wife. That combined with wanting to buy you a Burberry coat he know you wanted, make him sound lovely.

Against the law... 🙄

How much do these coats cost? She's probably jealous as she wouldn't be able to afford spending hundreds of pounds on a coat. I best it's mostly women your age that could afford their coats more easily. Glad your husband complained. The store ought to know that their sales assistants are driving away paying customers.

100%!

It wasn't just a rude comment, it was stupid. She lost a sale.
It's quite a dated brand nowadays, so even if you were 95, it would still be a stupid comment

what absolute bollocks.

Some styles suit certain physiques better, fair enough.
Age? Unless you are talking about a babygrow or similar, no, there's no age-appropriate clothings 🙄

Maybe we are from the same culture then? I am used to honest remarks in my culture and sometimes more honest than you'd like. And I can honestly accept them. I'm not blind: I know my figure has changed compared to my 20s and that the coat pulled across my chest. That's why I asked for a size up to see whether that would look better. If she had said it didn't fit well because of my cup size I'd have been fine with it, because that is the truth and I don't expect sales people to lie to me or tell me everything looks great when it doesn't.

But to say that it would have been fine '20 years ago' when I've got a normal figure for my age... in front of my almost 12 yo daughter who is learning to deal with a changing body.. felt unnecessarily rude..
Also, I'm 44 and wanted to spend money in her store, if I want to try a size up, why not? Would they tell a man that he was too old to wear something?

She was very rude and I wish both you and your husband weren't too shocked to tell her that.

Oh OP this did make me chuckle, sorry. My DD works in luxury fashion and there are loads of people who act like this. God knows how they survive!

I agree regarding Burberry as a brand, as a middle aged woman I wouldn’t buy it myself because of the “chavvy” connotations. Like a PP I wear Jaeger coats. Great fit for a mature figure.

If you’re in London, go somewhere like Dover Street Market (Haymarket) where you can try out loads of different styles and brands but avoid all the tourists.

Poor quality clip but was she anything this woman?

Are you always so polite and well informed in your replies? 😂Perhaps you like living in a delusional utopia where age appropriate clothing as a concept does not apply. But to me, I would prefer to reflect the reality of my age when it comes to wearing clothes.

If I asked the sales assistant for her opinion and she said she didn’t think it fitted me well, or the colour didn’t suit me, then that would be a reasonable and appropriate expression of her opinion. What the OP describes is neither reasonable nor appropriate. Hope there’s a grovelling apology in response to the email!

sorry "m'am" if I offended you 😂

I have literally no idea what "age appropriate clothing" might be.