To not want to pay friend for ticket

[User8943]

My friend bought tickets for her and her boyfriend to attend a concert, however, he can no longer make it.

My friend has now asked me if I want to go instead. She is really keen for me to go as she is unable to find anyone else and will lose the money of the ticket if I don't go.

I have said yes, but have said I won't pay for the ticket. I don't see why I should when she's only asking me because she has no one else and she'll lose the money from the ticket anyway as her boyfriend can't make it.

My friend is now really annoyed and said I'm a bad friend. AIBU?

YANBU

It would be polite to offer money for the ticket.

Me, I'd say, it's a freebie or I stay home.

I’ve given my tickets away for events I couldn’t attend at the last minute. That said I would pay if you WANT to go and are not just going to make up numbers.

You're providing her with your company.
She's hardly going to want to go alone so really she should be grateful and certainly not expect you to pay.

Do you even want to go to this concert? I mean,is it one you'd have bothered to get tickets for? I wouldn't go unless it was someone I really wanted to see (and probably not even then, these days).

I'd probably pay for food and drink rather than the ticket.

I think it's how you say it. "I'd be interested but sorry I can't afford it" would give her the option to say come along anyway. "I will come but don't want to pay you" sounds like you are demanding a freebie.

If it's a concert you'd have bought tickets to yourself but didnt/couldn't then paying is fair enough. If you're just agreeing to go to keep your friend company, no chance. Although I'd buy her a couple of drinks. Thems the rules.

Most of my friends don't have the same music taste as me but I generally buy two tickets to things I like and someone's always happy to come along to keep me company. I'd never ask for money when the alternative is lurking up the back on my own.

That's a very good way of putting it.

I think it's time you changed your mind about going with her OP. She's not bothered about having your company, she just wants your money.

Have given tickets to friends when I couldn't attend as free and said just buy me a drink, which they never did. If someone offered me this freebie and I wanted to go I would just say I'll pay for drinks etc but not the ticket price as I wouldn't expect it myself. X

I'd be embarrassed saying yes I'll go but not even offering money, in fact outright saying I won't be paying for it.

It sounds like she is being clear - she is reselling the ticket, which is reasonable, but you are under no obligation to buy it.

Hmmm does she want company or does she want to recoup the cost of the ticket? Has she tried selling it?

would you choose to go to this concert or are you only going to keep her company?

how did she ask?

I think it’s fine to tell her to continue looking for someone to buy the ticket but you’ll be willing to accompany her for free if she can’t find a buyer. the boyfriend should continue to pay if he’d agreed to, if she was paying for both she’s not actually out of pocket! She’d probably find it easier to sell both tickets

Absolutely my idea!! 🙄
Technically she is right of course that her friend doesn't want to go to the concert alone so has the benefit of her company BUT surely that doesn't give her carte blanche to behave like an entitled brat😱and not contribute something to the outing as she will no doubt get some enjoyment out of the evening, even if it's not a gig she would normally pay out for herself?! 🤔😳

Absolutely...Maybe offer to pay for a take away afterwards or a couple of drinks at the gig but to not offer to contribute something to the cost of the evening (which she will surely get some enjoyment from or why bother going) just says more about the OP than it does about her friend?🙄

YABU. You should at least pay sk.ething if you are going to go and enjoy it. If it isn't something you're into, don't go!

Ideally you would offer to pay and then your friend would say your company would be payment enough and then you would pay for the drinks or and extra round/meal as a thank you.

I think you're being unreasonable (or that this is a reverse) - why shouldn't you pay for a ticket, or at least offer, if it's something you fancy going to? You can always say no to going at all.

I've had free tickets when my friend's friend couldn't go. I've offered to pay and been told it was their loss though I did stump up for drinks.

On the other foot, would you demand your money back if you were the one unable to go?

@meganorks

I've gone to things with friends, that I've endured, not enjoyed because they wouldn't go alone.

I think generally in normal circumstances, if you are going then you should contribute to the ticket, and if you don't want to go then you simply don't go and don't have to pay. However if it was something I really didn't want to go to as this is then I'd have said so and would stipulate I'd go as a favour so it meant she could but therefore would not want to pay for the ticket, that way it is up to her whether she wants to go on those terms or not at all.

What would really bother me though would be being called a bad friend, after that I'd not go. Is her boyfriend a bad boyfriend as well, for letting her down in the first place? or is it just that she thinks calling you a bad friend will result in you offering to pay and she doesn't fancy losing out on the ticket price. Her boyfriend can recompense her for his inconvenience if she feels that strongly.