To ask why people that take half put the other half back

[AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside]

Inspired by a comment on the crumpet thread.

I understand why people might take half a biscuit/doughnut/cake/pie, whatever. They are teeny tiny and can only manage a few bites. We all get that.

BUT why do they think it's acceptable to touch said item and put it back like someone else will want it?

If you do this, why do you do it?

Why don't you take the other half for yourself another time?

Why do you think someone else will want to eat half a squashed iced doughnut with your fingerprints in it?

Even more disgusting are the people that don't even pretend at hygiene and don't even get a knife, they just tear it in half with their hands and put the other half back

Yabu - it's fine for people to touch up food items with their dirty fingers and leave them for others.
Yanbu - these people are disgusting.

And I'm talking more in office spaces etc than your home, but still, homes count if you have people other than your immediate family there.

I can’t imagine eating half a doughnut, 190 calories really isn’t that much! I also don’t know anyone who eats half of anything, whether it be biscuits, cakes, chocolate bars etc.

I do this.
I will cut a donut in half and leave the rest in the packaging.
I will eat the other half later or OH will.

I see the point about performances, but what's actually wrong with quietly cutting a doughnut in half with a knife and taking the half you want to eat. I've never seen a half doughnut go to waste in our office, someone will always eat it?

A Crosstown chocolate truffle doughnut for example is delicious but it's also five hundred calories - a full meal's worth for a middle aged woman in a sedentary job. I normally wouldn't want to either eat a whole one, bin half, or carry half home in my handbag (can you imagine the mess?)

It's performative under-eating. A WHOLE doughnut/sandwich/cookie/slice of cake?? There's no way I could eat that much and not be stuffed to Christmas, so I just have to make a big pantomime of cutting it up and putting half back on the plate, making sure you all see me doing it so you KNOW that I am not one of those utter pigs who eats a whole custard cream.

It's tedious and annoying, hygiene doesn't bother me. The people wouldn't be able to perform their under eating in the same way if they just took the whole thing and ate half.

Hmmm ok so I’m not allowed to just eat half, I have to eat a whole one. Or I have to pretend to eat a whole one, while hiding the other half, so it’s not performative. Have I got that right?

The policing of women’s bodies and food choices and the underlying internalised misogyny on this thread is mind blowing.

Let me eat half a doughnut. Or no doughnut. Fucks sake.

I agree- often I don't want a whole donut, half will be fine- what's the issue?
Not a "pantomime" I couldn't care if I am being watched or not, it isn't for effect- what a strange thing to say.

I don't have a huge sweet tooth, sometimes I just want a small piece of something- eating a large sweet thing will often make me feel queasy.

Should I not be allowed to have half a donut?

I'll echo that.

Only on MN have I ever seen the phrase "performative under eating".

How about rephrasing it as "healthy eating choice"? Or just, "choice"?

I dont understand why there's so much judgement or over investment about how much someone else eats on this thread. Just worry about yourself and your own choices and be done with it. Why should someone eat (or pretend to eat) more of something just so that someone else feels better or doesn't judge them?

Sometimes I've just had lunch or already had a piece of cake... Sometimes I don't want to eat too much sugar but fancy a little, or I'm not hungry enough for a whole slice of something. There's nothing wrong with any of those scenarios.

I've done it but always used a knife and never touched the bit I was intending to leave with my fingers. If its a giant cookie I'll snap it off by holding the half I want and holding the bag around the bit I don't.

I'm a size 12 and like my portions, however the "feeders" bring in cakes and donuts nearly every other day at my office and I can't resist trying a bit but do try to do a bit of damage control...

Agree tearing a cake in half with your bare hands and leaving a fingerprint indented squashed half cake is a bit grim though, my husband works at the same office and complains to me about the lack of hand washing action that happens in the gents...

I do this. It’s because I don’t mind eating the sticky-fingered, squished half left by someone else.

I am mystified that so many people can eat an entire donut! One glazed donut is 190 calories! And who has a stomach that big?!

Almost everybody, so it's very odd that you are mystified by it. Most 8 year-olds could eat a whole doughnut fgs. 190 calories isn't a ridiculous amount to eat in one go. Presumably you manage to eat meals of more calories than that? So stomach size really isn't very relevant. Doughnuts aren't huge in volume for their calories, because they are high sugar and fat. So if your stomach can't fit a whole doughnut in it, you must be a medical anomaly. I could easily eat 2 or 3 doughnuts if I really wanted to. So could either of my dc, who are both very slim.

I'll happily do this with family - have half a piece of cake or split eg a naan or poppadom.

And I do it with my boss - he's an undereater so we often share - but not food we have bitten into, just eg broken in half

You actually don't!
You take the edge of a biscuit, and break it against a plate/surface. Mind blown.

Last week in my workplace someone brought in packets of 4 different types of cookies.
One colleague took a cookie from each packet and took a piece of each joking that each quarter made a whole cookie.

If you couldn't possibly eat a whole 190 calorie doughnut (🙄) then if you are offered one and don;t want then you politely refuse. No issue. Or if you want a bit but not a whole one, take one, eat what you want, throw the rest away, keep it for later, take it home for the dog. No issue.

It's the whole running commentary about how a whole doughnut or cookie is SO MUCH and how you couldn't possibly, and can someone find a knife, and will anyone share with me, and I'll just pop this half back for someone else which drives people nuts.

Eat the cookie, don't eat the cookie, nobody cares. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about it. There is someone like this in every office I've ever worked in.

I was out for a lunch at a friends and the other friend licked her knife and put it into the mint sauce jar - ignoring the teaspoon on the side of the plate. Much as a like mint sauce I couldn't bring myself to take any after that. If id not seen ignorance would have been bliss..

I think she licked the knife to clear the knife of gravy before she took the mint sauce

And who has a stomach that big?!

me!

I can eat a whole donut, a whole slice of cake. Glad I didn't with the crispy cream donuts though as they taste of nothing special and are a waste of 190 calories - give me a sugary jame filled fresh donut please

Hmmm ok so I’m not allowed to just eat half, I have to eat a whole one. Or I have to pretend to eat a whole one, while hiding the other half, so it’s not performative. Have I got that right?

The policing of women’s bodies and food choices and the underlying internalised misogyny on this thread is mind blowing.

Let me eat half a doughnut. Or no doughnut. Fucks sake.

No, but if you want ‘some’, just take a whole one. No one cares whether you eat one bite or the whole lot. You don’t have to pretend to eat more or hide it.

Same.

I'd assume they were a psychopath.

Ah, but you forget that according to MN rules, if you are SEEN to only eat part, this is a performance of your teeny tiny birdlike lady appetite. There’s no such thing as just not fancying a whole one. That’s a sure sign of an unhealthy attitude to food/disordered eating/proof you are an enormous twat and must be scorned.

Looks like I also need to add proof you are a psychopath. Ffs.

I ate a whole Swiss roll once. One of my proudest achievements.

The poster you quoted was being sarcastic. I agree she could have made it a bit clearer.

How about rephrasing it as "healthy eating choice"? Or just, "choice"?

Because that's not what it is and it's ridiculous the number of people who don't seem to be able to grasp the enormous difference between eating a small amount and making a show of eating a small amount.

"Doughnut?"

"No thanks."

Fine.

"Doughnut?"

"Oh no, I couldn't eat a whole doughnut, how could anyone eat a whole doughnut? It's just so much, far too much. Maybe I could manage half? Does anyone want to split? Anyone...really? You're all eating a... whole doughnut? Goodness, you like your doughnuts, don't you? You must, to eat a whole one..."

Fuck off.

And if you're going to say nobody does this, let me assure you that they do. If you haven't met them, lucky, lucky you. Although I've noticed a correlation between people who've never met one and people who don't know the difference between the two...

I think we're all in agreement that performative undereating is a) a thing b) annoying as fuck.

But the OP was very clear that she wasn't posting about that. And several other posters have been clear that in their opinion, if you go alone into an empty kitchen and silently and hygienically slice the half a doughnut that you want to eat a) that's unnatural and b) you should immediately bin the other half because.....reasons?

I take half a doughnut when I don't want a whole one. I could manage one, but if I ate a whole one everytime I wanted one I'd gain weight, which I don't want to do. However I also don't want to deprive myself, so half is a compromise. Given it has no negative impact on anyone else if I eat all or only half of the doughnut allocated to me, I make no apologies. I'm certainly not going to start eating or wasting food I don't want to avoid the potential irrational annoyance of others.
Luckily for me I work with people prepared to eat half doughnuts as well, either instead of, or as well as a full one. So it works well in our office. One colleague hovers around me and the doughnuts for first refusal of the other half.
Luckily for them I wouldnt dream of prodding and leaving finger prints in 'their' half. That's what knives and napkins are for.