To ask why people that take half put the other half back

[AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside]

Inspired by a comment on the crumpet thread.

I understand why people might take half a biscuit/doughnut/cake/pie, whatever. They are teeny tiny and can only manage a few bites. We all get that.

BUT why do they think it's acceptable to touch said item and put it back like someone else will want it?

If you do this, why do you do it?

Why don't you take the other half for yourself another time?

Why do you think someone else will want to eat half a squashed iced doughnut with your fingerprints in it?

Even more disgusting are the people that don't even pretend at hygiene and don't even get a knife, they just tear it in half with their hands and put the other half back

Yabu - it's fine for people to touch up food items with their dirty fingers and leave them for others.
Yanbu - these people are disgusting.

And I'm talking more in office spaces etc than your home, but still, homes count if you have people other than your immediate family there.

There's a massive difference between being a competitive undereater putting on a performance and literally wanting to eat less food though. As a size 8, if I want half a donut, I just eat half, not because I couldn't conceive of anyone else eating more of a donut, but because I just didn't want a whole one.
It's a performance to pretend it is incomprehensible that the standard portion size of a donut is too vast for an adult human.

It’s actually pretty unpleasant to be constantly questioned/urged/forced to eat something you don’t want because you don’t like it. I promise there’s no performance on my side!

If people say "I'll just have half of one, thanks" - or, better, just take half of one - there's no issue at all.

It's the people who do the theatrical loud swooning at the very concept that anybody could possibly consume an entire single serving in one go.

X-posted with Sister Michael there!

I don't know anyone who does this it sounds disgusting

I get that. But even when no performance is made by me or others (just a polite no thanks) there’s always a pressure ‘but you’re tiny!’, you’re not on a diet are you?’, ‘you know it won’t kill you right?’, ‘why don’t you ever eat them?’

I’ve worked in female dominated settings for 20 years and it’s always the same. A lot of the time people are forced to explain themselves - I can imagine they are then considered to be making ‘a performance’ 🤷‍♀️ just leave me be!

Pretty much what I was thinking. I don't understand why there are so many posters on mumsnet who get so angry at people who aren't big eaters/don't have big portions/can't eat as much as them. They are very quick to mock them, and take the piss.

Like you, I hate being mithered and goaded into eating more. It's purely to make the other person feel better about eating a lot. They pour scorn over, and mock people who don't eat much/don't eat big portions. It's very cruel.

You don't know the reason why someone is eating a small amount. It could just mean they don't eat a lot, or they could have an eating disorder - or they could be on a diet - (or more than one of those three.)

I don't understand the mean comments on here towards people who don't eat big portions. I have never seen anyone displaying any 'theatrical performances' when offered a large portion. All I ever see is someone offering a large portion to someone, the 'someone' saying can I have a smaller amount please, and the person who is offering the food mocking and laughing at them for 'not eating enough.'

Ridiculous paranoia from the OP.

If I cut something in half, I only touch the half I am about to take.

I also don't wank and shit all over my hands. At least, not at work.

I hope this is sarcasm.

Loving the posters shoehorning in their dress size or that they’re told they’re tiny by others. 🤣🤣🤣

Happens all the time in our office when someone brings treats in. Usually accompanied by ‘ I’m only taking half because a full one will make me feel sick’
usually said while taking a half miniature cake/ digestive biscuit / slither of rich tea. Why bother 🤣

That’s a direct quote about the annoying commentary. Not a shoe horning it in. You’re pretty much illustrating what I mean. The person mentioning my size is implying there’s something unhealthy underlying my polite refusal of a doughnut. They are directly bringing my body into it - not me.

Funny how no-one complains if someone announces they're overweight. (and a size 18+.)

And if someone says they have been called fat by someone else, they get sympathy and hugs from most posters on the thread.

Some people on here, just really don't like slim people who are careful about what they eat, and seem to be deeply resentful towards them. I meet the occasional person like this in real life, but there's a disproportionate amount on Mumsnet.

I take half at home, never did it when I worked though.

I’m not a performative under eater, I genuinely cannot eat much in one go so graze during the day. Believe it or not just as some people have to eat everything they see there are people like me who can’t bear to feel uncomfortably full after eating. I’m the person in a restaurant who never finishes the food on my plate.

I saw a man in Tesco bakery pull a fresh loaf out of its wrapper, squeeze it a few times and put it back then walk off. Who does that?

Why do you think someone else will want to eat half a squashed iced doughnut with your fingerprints in it?

I don't, thats why I got laughed at for cutting a crispy cream doughnut with a knife and fork - so I could try some without putting my hands or mouth all over the food item. I wanted to try it but didn't want to waste an entire donut

I will happily eat things other people have touched, including cakes at school bake sales made by children . It doesn't seem to have done me any harm so far, and I'm 52.

Not as bad as a party I was at a few weeks ago - a woman was dipping a breadstick into a pot of hummus, biting off the end, dipping it in again, biting off the end, dipping it in again.....I steered clear of that hummus!

Some people on here, just really don't like slim people who are careful about what they eat, and seem to be deeply resentful towards them. I meet the occasional person like this in real life, but there's a disproportionate amount on Mumsnet.

But it isn’t about size, it’s about performance under eating. One of the women I know that does it is quite overweight.

If you’re going to eat some of the biscuit or whatever, just take it and eat what you want and leave the rest. No one wants to hear about what percent of it you’re going to eat. No one cares. Or just say no thanks and ignore any of the apparent ‘pressure’. I often say no thanks because I don’t eat the sorts of snacks on offer. I don’t make a big deal of it and neither do others. But when someone makes a performance of it, others respond accordingly.

Some people on here, just really don't like slim people who are careful about what they eat, and seem to be deeply resentful towards them. I meet the occasional person like this in real life, but there's a disproportionate amount on Mumsnet.

Yes, 1 millon% this!

It's as though they're so unhappy with their own food struggles, they feel that anyone who eats less is holding a mirror up to them, whereas they're simply just doing their own thing and couldn't give a shit how much others eat.

And calling other women 'Teeny Tiny' shows they never grew out of playground name calling.

It's true though, there is a disproportionate amount of Mumsnetters that are so unhappy, they have to monitor other women's food consumption and start name calling them.

"If you’re going to eat some of the biscuit or whatever, just take it and eat what you want and leave the rest. "

But this is exactly what they're doing that OP is complaining about. She says they should throw the other half instead.

Double dipping. Lots of my friends do this too and say it doesn't matter among friends. I didn't know it was wrong until I saw a Seinfeld episode about it either.

OMG I hate this so much. At my old workplace people would bring in doughnuts and there would always be half or a quarter (!) of a doughnut there...

One colleague would say "oh I only wanted half so left the other half in case anyone else wanted it.

Urm no, I won't be taking, what looks like leftovers, thanks 😷

But this is exactly what they're doing that OP is complaining about. She says they should throw the other half instead.

I mean, take the whole thing and yes throw the rest if you don’t want it. Take it home and give it to the birds or foxes.

I've never been in a situation where I would only want half a doughnut... I'd either eat it or not. I take fruit to work and avoid communal cakes , sweets and biscuits.

If I really only wanted half (!) I'd take it and take the other half home.

I don’t really like to eat things I know that other people have touched either - and wouldn’t do what you’re describing. But, thinking logically, I’m sure it’s no worse than e.g. eating some fruit from the supermarket. Multiple people might have touched that, and it seems unlikely a quick rinse will cancel that out. I would guess that loads of things we do regularly, like touching the toilet door handle at the office, are actually much more gross.