To ask why people that take half put the other half back

[AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside]

Inspired by a comment on the crumpet thread.

I understand why people might take half a biscuit/doughnut/cake/pie, whatever. They are teeny tiny and can only manage a few bites. We all get that.

BUT why do they think it's acceptable to touch said item and put it back like someone else will want it?

If you do this, why do you do it?

Why don't you take the other half for yourself another time?

Why do you think someone else will want to eat half a squashed iced doughnut with your fingerprints in it?

Even more disgusting are the people that don't even pretend at hygiene and don't even get a knife, they just tear it in half with their hands and put the other half back

Yabu - it's fine for people to touch up food items with their dirty fingers and leave them for others.
Yanbu - these people are disgusting.

And I'm talking more in office spaces etc than your home, but still, homes count if you have people other than your immediate family there.

Not everyone is like you. I rarely eat a whole one because I don’t like them very much and they make me feel queasy after a few mouthfuls. I accept to be polite to the giver.

😬 Just say no thank you. That’s polite. I often do if it’s something I can’t eat.

To be honest, when you see how many dirty mingers will use the toilet and not bother washing their hands afterwards - even when they've clearly had a poo - you'd probably recoil at taking something out of a sealed bag that they hand to you.

A woman at work would have half a cupcake. She did at least use a knife though, and only touch the half she was eating.
No on ever ate the other half mind.

Finger licking is revolting and gives me the boak.

But you are being a bit ridiculous regarding someone touching a donut to cut in half, it has already been touched multiples times prior to that - bakery production, delivery, putting on display, boxing up, removing from box, putting on a plate etc., it’s basically a germy hot bed by then anyway.

MN is constant source of education for me. I have literally never seen anyone do this.

Well no, it isn’t. If one of my colleagues has gone to the trouble of baking then I don’t refuse. I don’t dislike cake per se, I just only want a bit. I’ll obviously take an uneaten half if someone has already divided something.

Why is it always a half? Why don't you ever get people who can only manage a quarter, or a third, or 5/8?!

This!
I have only seen it with a knife and with immediate family/friends.

What was gross was a water dispenser at local cafe where a toddler was ramming their fingers up the tap part..

I understand why people might take half a biscuit/doughnut

How can you understand this? I can't understand why anyone would take half a biscuit or doughnut!

There's your answer. It's part of the performative undereating. If they don't put it back, they can't make a performance of the fact they had only half. They're not doing it so that someone else can have it, they're doing it so that everyone knows they had half.

Otherwise, as you say, they could just eat half now and take the rest home for later or for a family member who won't mind that they've handled it. But that would just be eating a smaller amount. It wouldn't be performative.

I do that…

But I always only ever touch my half with my fingers. I use a knife and take the half that I have that I have touched.

I wonder if some of them are deliberately playing the long game in a ploy to get more treats.

We all know how nigh on impossible it is to cut or tear off an exact half, so maybe some of them are deliberately 'just taking half' - i.e. a very big 'half' - and then, once a genuine small-appetited person has taken the quarter that they left, they then loudly 'find room' for another 'half' of this 'massive' item that is far, far too big for anybody to eat a whole one of in one go, and go and help themselves to a three-quarter-size 'half' of another one?!

So gross, YADNBU. Another thing that grosses me out so badly is double dipping. Eg at a buffet, if there’s dips with tortilla chips, I’ll only take some if I’ve seen the host unwrap it and I know 100% that I’m the first person to take from it. I then just spoon out what I want and take some tortilla’s before never returning. I’ve seen so many people double dipping, I don’t want to be eating their saliva 🤮 🤮

YANBU OP. Just think about how many people don't wash their hands after using the toilet. Yuck.

Nope, not at all. I just don’t want a whole doughnut / brownie sometimes and I know there are others who feel the same way so would have happily have half too.

And how is it a performance when no one is there to watch you do it…?

It is also possible to be bitter of people who don’t have as big an appetite, as is evident by the tone of your post. Why should I take home half a doughnut which will get squashed in my bag and probably thrown away when someone else who wants half can have the other half.

It doesn't have to be performative though. Some of the blokes in our office take half a doughnut because that's all they fancy. I definitely don't do the "ooh I eat like a bird me" talk because it would mark me out as an outsider all the more in a team of men - though as a small menopausal woman in a team of twenty something male gym fiends I should indeed be eating half what they do.

For all those rolling their eyes at ‘performative under eaters’, do you find it less irksome if someone just refuses rather than takes half/a small piece to be polite?

I genuinely don’t enjoy sweet things, especially processed things like Krispy Creams- I just feel sick afterwards.

It’s actually pretty unpleasant to be constantly questioned/urged/forced to eat something you don’t want because you don’t like it. I promise there’s no performance on my side!

Well no, it isn’t. If one of my colleagues has gone to the trouble of baking then I don’t refuse. I don’t dislike cake per se, I just only want a bit. I’ll obviously take an uneaten half if someone has already divided something.

Of course it’s polite to say no thank you. You said it made you feel queasy after a few mouthfuls. Why would you even want a bit? No one would expect you to eat something which makes you feel sick. 🙄

But you are being a bit ridiculous regarding someone touching a donut to cut in half, it has already been touched multiples times prior to that - bakery production, delivery, putting on display, boxing up, removing from box, putting on a plate etc., it’s basically a germy hot bed by then anyway.

But presumably, if it's any kind of professional place, they will have followed good hygiene procedures at each stage? Wearing disposable gloves and/or thorough handwashing. Not scratching their arse, picking their nose and going for a wee before putting their mitts straight all over food that's going to be sold.

I'm with you OP, but there's a big group of people on MN who are famously disgusting when it comes to food hygiene. Some people seem to think it's ok to lick their own arseholes because they shower every day. There are also a lot of competitive undereaters (like the poster who can't possibly even eat half a donut it's so filling and nothing at all like the size of her teeny tiny stomach) who will pretend they only ever eat half a donut and only ever the half that someone else discarded. It's basic food hygiene not to touch other people's food.

We don't use temps, but if we did, you'd be very welcome to come and work at my office where we don't have any dirty disgusting weirdos who want to eat each other's fecal matter.

never seen anyone do this either-do you not just ask around the table does anyone want the last one? People actually break it in half?

@AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside

I will eat things people have touched, even people I don’t know that well. I’ll also eat stuff that flies have been on. Not like an infestation.

Not everyone is obsessed with stuff like this.

@SisterMichaelsHabit Im impressed at the flexibility of anyone who can lick their own arsehole!

But why do you think someone is pretending they only ever eat half a doughnut? I hate Crispy Creams and privately would never eat them (not even half) because they’re grim (to me, anyway).

Not everyone has an eating disorder. Some people just eat to taste/appetite. I don’t get why this is such an incomprehensible idea on MN.

But you've already established you're not one of the people who are doing what OP described, you're halving your donuts the sensible way and presumably not broadcasting it around the office. Ergo the issue is about people who behave differently to you, for different reasons. Everyone should be doing what you are doing if they only want half a donut, but these people sound like their doing it differently (disgustingly).