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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I unreasonable?

109 replies

Floating101 · 03/11/2023 23:22

Had dinner out with a friend this evening. Partner offered to give me a lift into town and pick me up afterwards. About 25 minute drive. I left my friend and hadn’t yet messaged partner to ask to be picked up, had to walk right past the bus stop where bus was just pulling in that comes directly past the house. I got on the bus, messaged my partner to say don’t worry about picking me up, bus is right here.

Partner now in a mood, could have had a drink, could have had a bath etc etc. I didn’t know bus was going to be there! Should I really have waited in the cold for 25 minutes rather than just get on the bus? I thought they’d be happy about not having to come out in the cold!
Once again not speaking 😩

OP posts:

ginasevern · 04/11/2023 15:54

I don't understand why you didn't just end the evening in time to get the bus home. I understand they are infrequent but you did actually catch one so it's obviously possible.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/11/2023 17:11

The issue is the bus never SHOULD have mattered because she should have text before leaving the restaurant

TheOccupier · 04/11/2023 18:28

YABU to have planned for your partner to come out and pick you up if there's a perfectly good bus! Unnecessary car journey and a waste of his evening whether he ended up doing it or not.

Chromium24 · 04/11/2023 18:29

TheOneWhereWeDontGiveAPhuck · 04/11/2023 08:07

To the people posting saying they'd be annoyed. Could you explain why you'd be annoyed that you were now not needed? I understand you'd have waited around thinking you were giving a lift, but to be annoyed because you now don't need to give that lift seems really odd. So now you could get your drink a good hour earlier than you would have because you now don't need to go out. OP was actually being helpful by just jumping the bus, I dont understand why anyone would see that in a different way.

at a guess its being able to do the evening plans different than they could have due to the lift commitments

alwaysmovingforwards · 04/11/2023 19:24

Nah YANBU.
If I was helping someone and they did something that saved me going out for a 50 mins round trip, I'd say thanks.

Sounds like he resented the fact he was picking you up ie not drinking / having a bath and that's now just projecting out due to the plan change.

margotrose · 04/11/2023 19:25

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/11/2023 17:11

The issue is the bus never SHOULD have mattered because she should have text before leaving the restaurant

Exactly. If she'd text when ordering dessert (for example) to say she'd be leaving in 45 minutes, her DP would have just collected her as planned and none of this would have happened.

Sirzy · 04/11/2023 19:55

margotrose · 04/11/2023 19:25

Exactly. If she'd text when ordering dessert (for example) to say she'd be leaving in 45 minutes, her DP would have just collected her as planned and none of this would have happened.

Show quote history

Exactly. The fact she was waiting until out showed very much a “drop everything and come now” attitude until she found a better option!

OCDmama · 04/11/2023 20:49

I think you were being considerate getting the bus! Your partner didn't have to trot out in the end, wtf is his problem.

If he can't go one evening without having too much to drink he has a bit of a problem.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 04/11/2023 20:58

Again

It doesn't have to be "too much to drink"

Some people won't even have one drink before driving.

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