Three Crumpets

[LadyMacB]

AIBU or is there an unwritten rule that you eat crumpets in pairs? DH occasionally has a single crumpet. They come in sixes, so that often leaves a random spare crumpet that can’t be paired up. He says it’s normal.

My husband is guilty of both! Toaster and loo seat !!

Depends on the brand. Some are so small that 3 are equal to two slices of bread sonetimes.
Eat however many you want and just enjoy 🙂

This is obviously not true. Crumpets are fat and chewy, pikelets have no rising agent and are flat and delicious. My credentials are being from Stoke where as a child I enjoyed hot pikelets fresh from the oatcake shop. (M&S Pikelets are an inferior sub-standard affair, but are at least the correct depth).

Anyway, the correct number of crumpets is zero. Correct number of pikelets is any even number. Not 1, not 3.

they are gross the texture is weird

I can eat 4 happily.

If you're only eating 1 what's the point even eating. Go smell some lettuce.

If one is left as a Billy no mates, just freeze it so next time that situation arises you then have a pair or DH can have his single one

I have one, but as a sort of biscuit alternative with a cup of tea rather than as a meal. I had never even considered having two but now…

We get 9 packs. I usually have 1, but sometimes have 3. I rarely have 2. When they run out, I go to the shop and buy more <shrug>

Four slots in my toaster

This. Why would a crumpet automatically need to be 'paired up'?

Otherwise it may get lonesome

YABU to call them crumpets, they are Pikelets and can be eaten in any quantity

Nooo pikelets are flat

I sometimes have one and feel smug that I’m reserved and healthy. But ultimately the feeling of off balance prevails and I return to the kitchen and toast another about half an hour later.

It’s like going to the pub for one drink, it’s possible but fundamentally life is too short not to give into temptation of having a 2nd.

One should eat crumpets until feeling a bit sick in my opinion.

That's their reason for being.

You need to toast them twice. Toasted once only they are terrible; put them down for a second go and they’re fantastic.

I put one crumpet in to start. When I push it down for its second go, I add a new crumpet to the other toaster slot. When the first crumpet is ready, I add the third crumpet for its first go and remember the second crumpet is now on its toaster victory lap. I stand at the counter and eat the first one, then stand at the counter and eat the second while waiting for the third. The third crumpet is a table crumpet.

2 crumpets would be my usual choice but I usually only toast 1 to have with my meds then go back to bed for a bit till they kick in and turned out 2 is too many that early on for my system so I get the 2nd as afternoon treat instead.

We have three each. 🤷‍♀️

Three with cream cheese and marmalade makes a delicious brunch

This is so very very wrong.

Pikelets and crumpets not only look different but they're made differently too!

Crumpets are taller, made in a ring. The batter/dough is a pretty simple thing to make.

Pikelets are flatter, not made in a ring and the batter/dough is a git to make as you have to make a dough, and then let it down to a batter, and is a big ole faff.

So I break all the rules... and make pikelet shaped crumpets by not using a ring.

It doesn't matter what denominations I eat them in, I'm basically going to eat the whole pack within a few hours anyway.

You need help

They are lush.... marmite, cheese, butter - everything works

Crumpets and pikelets are different things.

Surely he can just have a single again another time. I have just one loads of times and my toddler wouldn’t manage 2 in one go.

@LadyMacB Don’t get me started on fucking Giant Crumpets.

We decided to give them a try because thought we could just put one in a single toast slot and, boom, Robert is your mother’s brother. Yeah, not so fucking much. It was a TRAVESTY.

It seems ok when first pulled from the toaster but then… you can’t manage to eat the far side before it starts to lose a bit of the toastiness that is required to hold the whole damn thing together. So what you’re really left with is deflated and depressing (“Life as Crumpets: A Meditation”).

They can get to fuck with their Giant Crumpets. I fell for it once, but never again. AND. Insult to injury: a single “giant” crumpet is more calories than two lovely regular crumpets. What the fuck kind of world is this? What kind of red room of fucking horror at Warburtons did they invent those in?

Also, if your husband only uses one paracetamol, the time to change the locks is probably years past, back when you noticed he only threw away one sock of a pair because it had a hole, leaving you to be haunted by the other sock for fuck-all-ever.

I love poached eggs on mine

Why are you policing your husband's eating habits ffs?? If he wants 1,3 or 99 crumpets, surely that's his decision!

You say you don't want to buy a 9-pack as you 'don't want to encourage him' 🤦‍♀️ What are on about!?! Don't be ridiculous and buy the bloody 9-pack!

I can DEFINITELY eat 3 crumpets first breakfast. Often do! But sometimes only feel like 1...so what?? 🤷‍♀️ If someone was policing my 'crumpet count' like you OP I would seriously tell them to fuck off!