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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School mum

93 replies

donnaella · 03/11/2023 11:23

Just posted for advice really as I'm really concerned about a little boy in the school where I work. I do a lot of work with his particular class (Year 2).
The little boy and his sibling (in Year 1 at same school) live literally 2 minutes walk from the school, yet they are late every day... The bell goes at 8.50am and classes are taken in by teachers at 8.55am.
Every single day, the mum of these two children is casually strolling towards school with them at 9am, caked in heavy makeup and fancy hairstyle. Like she's spent hours getting herself ready but can't even be bothered to get her DC to school on time, any day. The mum posts on social media a lot, posing in underwear. I just feel so upset for these little DC, having the embarrassment of being late for school every day. They're such sweet little children and I guess it just upsets me.
Should I report the mum?

OP posts:
Undethetree · 03/11/2023 11:25

Have a word with her (kindly) and explain that her kids need to be at school on time. You'll probably be able to tell a bit more about her by her reaction.

Rosiiee · 03/11/2023 11:26

Wouldn't the school call the mum out for being late everyday? We got in trouble last year for showing up to school late too many times (and it was only 4 times throughout the year!). They also called out another set of parents in the class for taking too many holidays in term time and our kids are only 6. I'd just leave the school to handle it.

Mammyloveswine · 03/11/2023 11:27

donnaella · 03/11/2023 11:23

Just posted for advice really as I'm really concerned about a little boy in the school where I work. I do a lot of work with his particular class (Year 2).
The little boy and his sibling (in Year 1 at same school) live literally 2 minutes walk from the school, yet they are late every day... The bell goes at 8.50am and classes are taken in by teachers at 8.55am.
Every single day, the mum of these two children is casually strolling towards school with them at 9am, caked in heavy makeup and fancy hairstyle. Like she's spent hours getting herself ready but can't even be bothered to get her DC to school on time, any day. The mum posts on social media a lot, posing in underwear. I just feel so upset for these little DC, having the embarrassment of being late for school every day. They're such sweet little children and I guess it just upsets me.
Should I report the mum?

If you work in the school then you should've had safeguarding training so any concerns you need to pass on to a DSL.

Squiggles23 · 03/11/2023 11:27

Some people are always running late, it doesn’t matter how close they live to school/work. It can be hard to get everyone out the house, with everything.

This sounds absolutely nothing to do with you so keep out of it.

Mammyloveswine · 03/11/2023 11:28

Also why are you on her social media? Totally inappropriate as a member of staff to have parents on social media.

WhateverMate · 03/11/2023 11:29

Report her to who?

Do the school not know her kids are late every day? How does that work?

VyeBrator · 03/11/2023 11:31

Laughing at 'caked in makeup' and 'fancy hairstyle'.

Probably takes 15 minutes while the kids are eating their cornflakes but don't let that stop you embarrassing yourself 🙄

Hobnobswantshernameback · 03/11/2023 11:31

So you work in the school
but are friends with this mum
and don't understand basic school policies

Hobnobswantshernameback · 03/11/2023 11:32

And the comments about her appearance are hilariously over egging things

bryceQ · 03/11/2023 11:33

I don't understand your role in this. You work in the school? And you've been looking on her social media? That sounds grossly inappropriate. It's up to the school to raise her lateness officially with her if there is concern.

Original poster
donnaella · 03/11/2023 11:33

Just to clarify, she's not on MY social media.. She's on my cousin's social media so it's my cousin who sees all the posts. Has shown me a few but I don't have this mum on my socials, nor would I attempt to.

OP posts:
DonnaBanana · 03/11/2023 11:33

Sisters need to stick together so don’t be so petty. If the kids are always late this should be dealt with in the official way as unauthorised absence

stormteacupandcake · 03/11/2023 11:34

it makes no sense, report to who?

The school will have noticed the children are late.

Parents more worried about their appearance, their phone are not a new thing, you see them in all the soft plays, in parks, on the school runs.

Vitriolinsanity · 03/11/2023 11:35

You work in a school and yet were sleeping yourself during your safeguarding training.

Have you not seen the DSL team posters?

Do you not have a Attendance Officer?

Do you not think that the teachers know how to mark Late on their register?

WhateverMate · 03/11/2023 11:35

donnaella · 03/11/2023 11:33

Just to clarify, she's not on MY social media.. She's on my cousin's social media so it's my cousin who sees all the posts. Has shown me a few but I don't have this mum on my socials, nor would I attempt to.

You can always keep your nose out and tell your cousin you're trying to be a professional?

Why do you think the school hasn't realised the kids are always late?

Justcallmebebes · 03/11/2023 11:35

Report to whom? I assume the school know she's 5 min late.

Maybe she works and that's why she's plastered in makeup with her fancy hair

stormteacupandcake · 03/11/2023 11:36

VyeBrator · 03/11/2023 11:31

Laughing at 'caked in makeup' and 'fancy hairstyle'.

Probably takes 15 minutes while the kids are eating their cornflakes but don't let that stop you embarrassing yourself 🙄

I don't agree with the OP, but to be fair, if someone has time to put make-up, do their hair or whatever, they have no excuse for being late for school. They have wrong priorities.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/11/2023 11:37

Would you be less concerned were she clean scrubbed with a ponytail?

SpudleyLass · 03/11/2023 11:38

We had an arrangement with our now former mainstream school for our autistic DD, that she would come in a bit later so as not to be overwhelmed at the school gates.

I'm not saying these children must have SEN, but you don't know the reasons. Sounds like the school are aware and there may well be a good reason for it.

VyeBrator · 03/11/2023 11:39

stormteacupandcake · 03/11/2023 11:36

I don't agree with the OP, but to be fair, if someone has time to put make-up, do their hair or whatever, they have no excuse for being late for school. They have wrong priorities.

Show quote history

They can put make up on and comb their hair when their kids are eating breakfast. No-one knows whether this is the reason she can't seem to get the kids out the door on time.

It's pretty clear the OP has just started this thread to invite everyone to slag the woman off.

The school KNOW she's late every day and her social media is no-one's business.

MummyofTw0 · 03/11/2023 11:41

It might be arranged with the school that the kids come in late. Some children with needs can't stomach the hustle of all going in at the same time

WhateverMate · 03/11/2023 11:41

Is this the OP who recently started work as a dinner lady and seems to think it makes her the equivalent of a Head Teacher?

If I remember rightly, the parents were all jealous of her job.

C152 · 03/11/2023 11:42

I think you're being a bit unreasonable, OP. If you work at the school, you should know what the policies are regarding frequent lateness. Presumably the class register is marked every morning and persistant lateness is something the class teacher will have noted and either they or the principal will raise it with the parents if there is a concern. Who exactly would you report this woman to that wouldn't already know the children are late?

Igloolou · 03/11/2023 11:42

I just feel so upset for these little DC, having the embarrassment of being late for school every day. They're such sweet little children and I guess it just upsets me.

Curious, do these children appear upset when they are late? Are they being picked on because they are late?

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 03/11/2023 11:44

Who would you be reporting it to? Surely the school know that they’re late and will speak to them as they feel necessary.

with the social media posts I don’t think this is a major concern as long as the kids aren’t involved. Adults can pose in their underwear if they wish. Dniece has a brand deal and often has to pose in underwear on social media, I’m sure any future kids of her would find it embarrassing if they were ever to see the pics, but she’s an adult and it’s up to her what she does. Would you be concerned by people posting holiday pics of themselves in bikinis? It’s essentially the same thing.