School mum

[donnaella]

Just posted for advice really as I'm really concerned about a little boy in the school where I work. I do a lot of work with his particular class (Year 2).
The little boy and his sibling (in Year 1 at same school) live literally 2 minutes walk from the school, yet they are late every day... The bell goes at 8.50am and classes are taken in by teachers at 8.55am.
Every single day, the mum of these two children is casually strolling towards school with them at 9am, caked in heavy makeup and fancy hairstyle. Like she's spent hours getting herself ready but can't even be bothered to get her DC to school on time, any day. The mum posts on social media a lot, posing in underwear. I just feel so upset for these little DC, having the embarrassment of being late for school every day. They're such sweet little children and I guess it just upsets me.
Should I report the mum?

Some people are perpetually late. Even if she didn't do her hair/makeup she would still likely be late. It's not great, but the kids are only 5 minutes late, that won't make them miss anything at the start of the day, and they do get to school safely.

Someone with actual authority at the school (i.e. not you) should have a chat to the parents and see what's going on/if there's anything the school can do to help. If it continues when the children are in high school they will be disciplined for being late, and will learn for themselves then.

Report her to who, and for what?

School already know she is late.

As far as I know, her hair and make-up are not reportable to any authority.

🤮. No "sisters" do not need to stick together.

OP I would leave it. Senior staff will have picked it up if it's a problem and may have already spoken to the mum about it.

If you work in the school, have you checked that there's not a genuine reason for this?

My DC is autistic and school have asked us to come in a little after drop-off time. I'm always walking up just as everyone else is leaving and I'm paranoid they all think I'm just lazy and constantly late. (I can guarantee they don't think it's because I'm doing my hair and make up though! )

If you have concerns, speak to the school DSL (safeguarding).

5 minutes' lateness in every school I've worked in, would be completely insignificant from a safeguarding point of view. So would being heavily made up and having a fancy hairdo.

Posting on social media in underwear is not illegal. Inadvisable, possibly, but absolutely nothing to do with you.

Again, if you are concerned, speak to the DSL at school.

There is one mom in my dc school, her son has sen and she has an agreement to bring her dc late and pick them up earlier than everyone else. Not, only the child with sen but her other younger reception class too.

Little kids probably don't give a shit they're late tbh. It's the school's problem, I wouldn't interfere.

Lots of things factor into being late. I get 4 in to their primary school classrooms every day. Normally either dead on time or just on the cusp of being 'late' as in 30 seconds before the door closes. But we have a 5 minute time stamp to get kids into each classroom so it's tight!
I don't do my hair or makeup though and I don't look my best. I look ok but not my best. I have 4 packed lunches to make which takes like 10 minutes.

But I can be up at 6am have everything laid out and packed by 7. And then there's always the one child who suddenly remembers they need xy or z just as we have put one foot out the door and that's it. 5 minutes gone.

So I want I'm saying is. Yeah, maybe she doesn't care, or maybe small factors add up resulting in being late. If the school is bothered they will say something.

As long as everything else seems OK with the kids I would just maybe eye roll and get on with my day.

Slightly beside the point, whyis everyone getting their knickers in a twist about a school employee having social media contact with parents?!

I’m a teacher and I‘m friends (as in actual friends) with many parents of pupils - mainly because my children go to the school. My safeguarding training is right up to date too. There are no rules about who you can and can’t be friends with on social media in terms of adults. It’s only pupils (or ex pupils for a set amount of time) that you can’t be friends with.

Or are you not allowed friends if you’re a teacher?

Some people are just late all the time, my partner is one of those people. My parents were always rushing and running late to take us to school in the morning, sometimes my neighbors would take us in and they would be running late too.

I hated being late as a child and the horrible rushed mornings so I try and make mornings relaxed and stress free, but somethings gotta give and I've often not cleared up from breakfast or put laundry on etc.

You don’t know what is going on, keep your nose out.

There is a girl in my son’s class who arrives at school late enough every day to have to go through the office as the gates are closed. I do feel sorry for her as I know the mum has a very chaotic life but she is doing her best and she gets her to school every day despite all of her other challenges, albeit 5-10mins late. The school know and are supportive.

I remember it being horrible, having to go in through the office instead of via the playground, and two days a week, having to walk into assembly late with everyone watching you.

You should always follow the safeguarding and attendance policies in your workplace. If you don’t know what these are you need to speak to your line manager (or if urgent the Designated Safeguarding Lead). If you believe that there’s an issue that your line manager/ the DSL/ child’s teacher/ attendance manager isn’t dealing with correctly you can always speak to them or to the headteacher. Some families have different arrangements for drop off agreed by the school for various reasons and this wouldn’t be shared with staff who don’t need to know. It’s not clear what your job is or how you are able to see this parent dropping their children off - you may be well advised to request extra training from the school to understand the difference between professional concerns and gossip (particularly if you are a part-time staff member who’s also a parent at the school so is likely to see fellow parents/ carers outside of work regularly), posting on Mumsnet about this rather than following the school’s policies and speaking to colleagues isn’t appropriate or professional.

Unprofessional and a bit needy if I'm honest.

I don't know any staff at my primary who would accept friend requests from parents.

Even if they join the school FB group they're advised to do so in a separate account.

I out you’re unreasonable. As I fully get the concern over being late, but I’m assuming that’s not your job to deal with, but you’re hugely unreasonable to be so judgey over a woman’s appearance . She can wear what she wishes and as much make up as she pleases and post whatever images she pleases. You don’t get to judge.

The school will know the children are always late.

If you work in a school you have done your safeguarding training and know your schools reporting procedures so you know exactly what to do.

Report what to who? The school will be well aware that she is pitching up late every day. She's probably on their radar already. Although posing on social media in your underwear is tacky and awful, it's not illegal and not something social services would be interested in, i'd imagine.

You are a professional in a school, do what your training told you to do. As pp have said any concerns to safeguard lead, if just late then the teachers know as do the office as its monitored. Don't get involved with social media of parents.

No.

"Sisters" need to call out things which need calling out, irrespective of the sex of the other person involved.

This isn't a case for Mumsnet to resolve. I cant fathom why you posted this thread.

If you work in a school then it's your actual paid job to follow the safeguarding processes in place to protect children.

Talk to your colleagues. Goodness me!

We had one of those at my school, too. Thankfully she's left now - and is probably still bitter that that the school continues to run without her presence....

You work in the school? Reports concerns to the DSL.

If you work in a school why are you posting it on Mumsnet instead of asking senior colleagues for advice?

If it's just five minutes, it might be more embarrassing for the children if a 'thing' is made of it. As for the Mum, she should take a leaf out of my dubious book and leave her mascara on overnight and put her hair in a net so she's good to go when she gets up.

This isn't a case for Mumsnet to resolve. I cant fathom why you posted this thread.

So everyone can apparently slag this woman off for being 'caked' in makeup, doing her hair and putting underwear shots on her SM that apparently the OP simply has to look at when her cousin shows her?

That's my guess anyway.