AIBU to think it's unfair same sex couples can get IVF on the NHS but not single women?

[CateB78]

https://news.sky.com/story/fertility-inequality-how-single-women-are-facing-ivf-discrimination-and-financial-strain-12996293

Do you also think it's unfair that mixed sex couples can get IVF but single women can't? Why just say same sex couples?

No.

No.

I'm not sure. I don't think it's reasonable to discriminate against women just because they're single, but I wonder if it's ultimately about the rights of the child rather than the prospective parents(s)?

Does a child have a right to two parents? (Obviously, some kids will lose a parent due to bereavement, abandonment etc, but in most cases, the starting point is two parents, even if they aren't both listed on the birth certificate.)

I'd need to see more detail regarding the arguments on both sides before I could come down firmly on one side or another.

Absolutely not, single parent families aren’t something to aim for.

Because it is a closer equivalent because presumable in both cases there is no actual "fertility" issue necessarily?

Do you think it was fair that we (a hetero) couple had to wait three years before we could start having any investigations and treatment?

To be honest it might be due to the welfare of the child and right to two parents.

I think YABU.

I'm not strongly in favour of anyone getting IVF on the NHS when the NHS is so stretched and underfunded. In an ideal world it would be available to anyone struggling to conceive regardless of status but we are not in that world. My sister looked into it but her DP had a grown up child so she was not eligible - regardless of barely seeing the grown up child - that struck me as unfair. It should be all or nothing.

No. Have you read some of the threads here on how difficult it is to be a single parent. It's not something that should be offered by the NHS.

Ofcourse it's not discrimination. Lesbian couples have to go through a process of iui at their own cost to prove that they are infertile before they can infertile on the NHS.
A single woman who isn't having unprotected sex is not infertile and therefore doesn't need infertility treatment and as such should not be allowed to get it on the NHS

I don't think the nhs should be funding any ivf treatments for anyone.

I can see why it might feel unfair, but at the end of the day, ivf is paid for by the nhs for those who have a medical problem getting pregnant. Being single is not a medical problem. You could argue being in a same sex relationship isn’t a problem either, so now I’m not sure where I stand. I guess if you’re single you still have the option of having sex with a man but can’t if you’re gay.

It would be nice if the private places did longer and better loans so more people could access it.

I think ivf should only be offered to those with fertility problems on the NHS. Or those with genetic issues such as the BRCA gene. I don’t think IVF should be free for someone who is in their 40s and single and wants a baby with a sperm donor as in the article. There just isn’t the funds.

I agree unfortunately. And I say this with a heavy heart.

@CateB78

yes. At least for fertility treatment (doesn’t have to be IVF).

The original NHS approach was treatment for couples with a medical difficulty conceiving.

that was extended to same sex couples who may well be able to conceive naturally but of course don’t want to have heterosexual sex to do so.

so the same should be offered to single women on the same basis. Want a child, don’t want to have sex with someone you are not in a sexual relationship with to do so.

disagree on the single parents are bad point.

Many men are awful parents. Read about their neglect and abuse on here constantly.

better a baby by choice and no rubbish man in the background messing up the mother and her kids with his behaviour.

though if I was going down this road I’d consider finding a parenting partner to do it with (eg I have some close gay friends, though the one I’d have willingly parented with didn’t want kids).

I don't think same sex couples should get it free either. It should only be for couples with fertility issues.

Here we go again ..

Having children via IVF will be just for the wealthy then.

Yeah but the article says the government will fund IUI for them and not for single women if you read it.

So true Orangegato.

I was moved by storied of the women in the video. One spent her savings, the other went into debt...

This is such nonsense.

If you are single, want a baby and don’t fancy paying for fertility treatment, the answer is to find a man who wants to conceive a child with you.

’i want to stay single and have the taxpayer fund fertility treatment so i can have a baby’ is a really clear statement about the levels of selfish individualism we’ve reached.

And to start shouting about how it’s
discrimination is ridiculous.

There is nothing discriminatory about telling straight, single women that they need to try having a baby by having regular unprotected sex with a man before the NHS will consider treating an actual fertility issue.

Any provision made for women in same-sex relationships is a totally separate matter for debate.

There’s something really worrying about the current trend to try to position straight people/male people/white people as the most victimised of all.

Shocking. Of course it's discriminatory and single mother's bashing. Maybe portion of social problems stems from the constant message that they and their children are not "preferable". Single parent's houshold is bad by definition - very ostracizing. Government is saying what type of families citizens should have. So much for diversity.

I agree with this. Whilst it’s very distressing if you’re affected by infertility, amd I’m not minimising the psychological effects, it’s not life threatening. The nhs was never really meant for things like this, but when it was set up no one could foresee the advances which were to come in fertility issues.

I don’t care if you’re heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, bisexual (with genuine apologies if I haven’t covered anything), having a child is not a right

Same sex couples don’t get IVF on the NHS just because they are same sex. One of them has to have a fertility problem, just like with mixed sex couples.

It already is. NHS treatments don’t provide the same medication and in many areas you get 1 cycle when most women need at least 3-4 which means it only tends to work when it’s the male who’s the one with fertility problems (my consultant has even written to the NHS saying the current system discriminates against women with fertility problems and also women over the age of 25 who might require multiple cycles).

If the NHS stopped funding free cycles and just offered discounts to everyone like the Netherlands does or totally privitise but allow centres to provide higher doses to make treatment more likely to work (like India) it would make ivf a much more achievable prospect for everyone.